


Map of a Dream

by Cyndi



Category: Animorphs
Genre: Adventure, Andalites, Bullying, Coming of Age, Courage, Drama, F/M, Healing, Murder, Revenge, Romance, Survival, Violence, War, Yeerks, life after trauma, overcoming, self discovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-03
Updated: 2010-12-03
Packaged: 2017-10-20 01:52:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 46,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/207526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cyndi/pseuds/Cyndi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Semeir wanted to be a warrior. Nobody thought she could do it. Then she met Elfangor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is a revamped version of a fanfic I wrote and posted online in 1998-1999. I've come full circle with this story.

**Map of a Dream**

.o

.o

.o

Prologue

.o

A monument to glory. That is what they called the statue.

The sculpture depicted an Andalite warrior standing at attention. White stone, chiseled expertly by a talented sculptor. It was larger than life-sized and stood on a squat pedestal in the center of a small, artificial pond.

Behind it, the main space port bustled with activity.

Any second now, I'll have to leave. But not right this minute.

Ripples formed on the pond when I dipped a hoof in to drink. I peered at the statue's face with my stalk eyes. The sculptor had talent. He'd gotten the warrior's intense expression exactly right.

A second reflection appeared on the pond's surface.

Another female.

She stared at me.

{It's _you_ ,} she exclaimed. {I just heard those other guys talking about you.}

I kept my face composed.

Before I could answer, the female gestured to the statue. {Did you know him?}

I looked up again. Studied the familiar face. I ached with what could have been. If things turned out differently, would my life still lead me to this moment?

{Yes.} I said. {I owe everything I am to him.}

The girl turned her head. Her eyes scrutinized me. Measured my reaction.

{Oh, I get it.} She said nonchalantly. {You have relatives in high places. That's how you got here, isn't it?}

I laughed. I couldn't help it. {No.}

{Then how?}

That question reached a bittersweet nerve somewhere between my hearts. Did she know what it cost to get where I was? Did she know what almost happened to our planet? Did she know what it meant to truly love someone with all of her being? Did she know what it meant to lose that person? To piece together a life shattered?

Not now, she didn't.

But I would change that.

I looked over at her before I started to talk.

She was the age I had been. So young, so pretty, her fur the same dark shade of violet seen during sunset. She regarded me with her brownish-green main eyes. I saw my own childhood all over her face.

She wanted what I wanted. Her spirit burned with the same fervor.

And I finally understood what _he_ saw in me.

.o

.o


	2. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 1

Chapter 1

.o

My name is Semeir-Cooraf-Armaheen. I am an Andalite. A young adolescent female.

I _should_ have been in my level one botany class, but I did not feel like listening to mind-numbing lectures about the cell properties of grass roots.

At the moment I stood under a large _derrishoul_ tree near the field. _Arisths_ and warriors were training a few galloping steps away. The trees partly concealed me from view.

I had a reason to hide.

Bullies often teased me because I was smaller than everyone else my age. They poked fun at my awkwardly large tailblade. They laughed at me because I liked fairy tales more than school.

But their main reason for mocking me?

I dreamed of being a warrior. I made no secrets about it.

Ever since my step-father won a tailfighting tournament two years ago, I witnessed what a tail like mine could do. Sometimes, I tried to mimic what I saw. I was positioned too far away and can only guess at how they moved their bodies and tails. But I liked to pretend.

At the moment, I was buried in a fairy tale. I downloaded it earlier from my step-father's database. Another reason to hide-I didn't ask permission first. I got in trouble for this a lot.

The story I read was old and took place on a planet called Earth, where the dominant life form walks on two legs. They speak and eat through holes in their faces-they call them mouths.

I read with my main eyes while my stalk eyes watched the _arisths_ run drills in the field. I love stories written by other worlds. Stories about heroes rescuing princesses in danger and falling in love. I wouldn't mind being the girl saved by a dashing prince-and I am well aware of how contradictory that is with my warrior's dream.

What can I say? I was still young.

The story holding my attention excited me; in the tale, a badly-treated human girl went to a ball to dance with a handsome prince.

Although I didn't understand the concept of dancing around a spherical object, I still found the story fascinating. Especially when the human ran away and lost one of her glass slippers. I guess glass slippers are very slippery. And why would humans dance with something they would easily lose while running on their odd two legs?

My most annoying bully, an _aristh_ named Leehan-Garilion-Figtul, noticed me. He trotted over and read the data pad over my shoulder. Sweat glistened under his blue fur. He was a muscular Andalite with light tan patches on his shoulders and a thick fringe of long fur above each of his hooves. Most young males kept that fur trimmed short, but he left his long to show off his physical maturity.

I tried not to cringe at his presence.

{Hey, Big-Blade!} Leehan jeered. {What are you reading?}

I pretended not to hear and continued reading. The prince was leaving his castle to find the female whose foot fit into the slippery glass slipper.

Leehan made another remark. One too vulgar to repeat. Then, suddenly, he reared up and used his front hooves to push my hindquarters down. Snatched the data pad out of my hand and waved it above my stalk eyes.

{Gee, Big-Blade, I didn't know you liked fiction. Only babies read fiction. Baby!}

{Hey! Give that back!} I made a grab for the data pad in Leehan's grasp. He pulled it out of reach and swung his tailblade across my hand.

FWAPP!

The pain was like a hot laser burning into my skin. I flinched away.

{That's my data pad!} I shrieked. {Give it back!}

Leehan's front legs forced me to the ground again. He used his hooves to hold me down. I couldn't push myself up without pulling every muscle in my hindquarters, and he knew it.

Leehan's friends heard my outburst. I was surrounded in seconds. They pointed and laughed, which made me want scream. I could do nothing to get Leehan's weight off my back. Nothing!

{She's all blade and no whip,} Reshalla-Ergos-Perrlint, a tall dark purple female laughed. {Look at that hideous tailblade! It's so awkward and ugly like the rest of her!}

{Baby.} A thin _aristh_ sneered.

{Wimp,} Yet another _aristh_ snarled.

Leehan held the data pad high, {Semeir, Semeir, Semeir...when are you going to get your head out of the clouds?} He looked to his other friends, {Hey, you guys, listen to how stupid this is!}

Then he started to read.

{" _Cinderella washed her hands and face clean, then went and bowed down before the Prince, who gave her the glass slipper. She seated herself on a stool, drew her foot out of the heavy wooden shoe and put it into the slipper, which fit like a glove. When she rose up, the Prince recognized her and cried, "That is the true bride!" The step-mother and the two sisters were horrified and became pale with rage. The Prince, however, took Cinderella on his horse and rode away with her_..."}

Leehan was laughing too hard to continue.

I turned my face away from their jeering eyes and tried to ignore the jabbing hooves poking at my sides. Oh, how I wished a prince would come along to take me away!

{You're not even a challenge! C'mon! Fight me! You go on and on about being a warrior. Come on! Give me some tail! Here, I'll even get you started.} Leehan raised his tail to strike at me, his tailblade gleaming in the bright sunlight.

I cringed and waited for pain. Waited for-

FWAPP!

CLACK!

Another tailblade blocked Leehan's!

{Picking fights with a female is a good way to get yourself expelled from the Academy. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life running errands, _Aristh_ Leehan?}

The bully on my back suddenly got up. {Sir! I...}

Reshalla and the two _arisths_ standing beside her also jumped to rigid attention.

{It's _him!_ } I heard one of the _arisths_ gasp.

{Sir, I...I can expl-}

{Quiet, _Aristh_ Leehan! And you,} the thoughtspeak boomed at Reshalla next, {...are supposed to meet Kalna for your level two morphology exam. I suggest you get going.}

Reshalla flicked her tail and galloped away as if shredders were firing at her hooves. She did not look back or slow down.

A shadow fell across the ground beside me. It swallowed the three sets of front hooves digging nervously at the blue-green grass. Strong, mature forelegs appeared in the corner of my left stalk eye. The fur was trimmed neatly, not left long like Leehan's.

My savior addressed the others. {Leave.}

Nobody said a word. The only sound Leehan and his friends left behind was their retreating hooves.

Then I found myself alone with the mysterious stranger.

The forehooves beside me turned my way. I braced myself for a harsh talking-to.

{ _Arisths_.} He sighed. I felt his eyes on me. {Are you okay?}

I was too shy look up or answer. My shoulders hunched. Was I in trouble, too?

{Easy there, I'm not going to hurt you.} The stranger came around in front of me. {They're gone now.}

I asked, {Am...am I in trouble?}

{No.} A delicate hand reached down. The long fingers tapered at the tips. {Here, I'll help you up.}

The kind words comforted me. I took the offered hand and looked up at the figure standing in the glare of the sun. My gaze traversed the furry, light blue landscape of strong legs, delicate shoulders and shapely arms.

He was strong, helping me up with little effort. I realized he stood a full head and shoulders taller than me. His eyes reminded me of green river crystals. In them, I could see the fire and determination of a warrior.

My hearts did funny things as soon as our eyes met. I'd been rescued by a very good-looking male!

And I was covered in grass. I made no move to brush it off. I didn't want to draw his attention to my unkempt appearance.

{Much better.} He tilted his head, {My name is Elfangor, and I don't put up with _arisths_ picking on civilians.}

His name seemed familiar. I'd heard my step-sister and brother mention it before, but the reason escaped me.

{I'm Semeir,} I said shyly. {It's spelled just like the flower.}

Elfangor chuckled. {My mother grows those around our scoop.}

I laughed with him. I liked him already.

He was the only non-family person who had ever been this kind to me and meant it. Usually, adults and other supervisors were too busy to deal with trifles like mine. They didn't stop to chat.

But Elfangor was different. His eyes had a sadness about them. He'd seen things. You can always tell that about a warrior.

{You're hurt.} I heard Elfangor say. {Did Leehan do that?}

The pain of my slashed hand returned. It wasn't a deep wound, but it was painful and still dribbling plasma. I tried to hide it from him.

{I-It's just a scratch.} I said quickly.

I didn't want to get Leehan in more trouble. Any time I tattled on him, he came back ten times worse.

Elfangor reached forward and gently grasped my wrist. {Here, let me make sure you didn't get sliced too deep. You don't want that to get infected.}

I stood there while he used the leaf of a nearby _derrishoul_ tree to wipe away the blood on my palm. Their leaves are naturally antibacterial, and perfect for disinfecting a superficial cut.

He spent a moment examining the wound before carefully pressing the leaf against it. The scrape stopped leaking almost immediately. And, oddly enough, the whole process was completely painless.

Off to the side, I glimpsed Leehan peeking around a tree. I remembered that I still hadn't gotten my data pad back.

Elfangor noticed him, too. He shot Leehan a glare that sent him running.

{There.} He released my wrist and twirled the used leaf between his index finger and thumb. Then he let it flutter to the ground. My blood created blue patterns on its pink surface.

Finally, I found it in myself to smile. {Thank you.}

My hearts kept doing flipflops. I began to wonder when they would escape and bounce down the nearby hill.

{Why do they attack you?} He asked me.

{I'm smaller than they are and I like to read fiction.} I answered sharply. {And I have this huge, ugly tailblade, too.}

I swished my tail so he could see my tailblade. The sunlight momentarily glinted off it's smooth surface.

{It's rather unusual to see a blade that size on a female.} Elfangor told me, bringing his tail around to compare our blades. Mine was no more than a few finger's widths shorter than his. {Don't feel bad about it. A lot of the warriors I know would cut off their own eyestalks to get a blade that smooth.}

I used my stalk eyes to peer at my tailblade with renewed interest. {You sound as if you know what I go through with Leehan and his gang.}

{I do.} Elfangor said. {There was a time when I was smaller, slower and more awkward than everyone else. My first years at the Academy were tough. Everybody used to gang up on me. Finally I just stood up to my worst bully-his name was Marrod. I told him I wasn't afraid of him anymore, and if he had issues with that he could take me up after lessons were concluded. I waited. He never appeared, and he never bothered me again.}

He looked at me with his stalk eyes and continued, {Perhaps Leehan just needs a good talking-to from you. Or you could just ignore him when he bothers you.}

{But he makes me so mad! I can't just ignore him!} I balled my fist and stomped my hoof angrily in the grass to get rid of the searing knot in the pit of my stomach. {He always has something really mean to say that embarrasses me in front of everyone. I hate him!}

{So don't let him make you mad.}

I glared at Elfangor. He didn't understand as much as he thought. Or maybe I was too stubborn to admit he was right. {Easier said than done.}

{The best way to get rid of a bully is to ignore them. Don't even acknowledge they're there. He'll get bored with your lack of a reaction and seek out someone else to bother. If ignoring him doesn't work, stand up to him. He seems to like intimidating you, so tell him he doesn't scare you anymore. It might shock him into shutting up.}

{What if I just tail whip him until he cries?}

{Fighting is never a good idea. It should be a last resort when all other tactics fail.} Elfangor looked up. {Violence might stop a war, but at the cost of pain, lives and innocence. It's better to teach a bully to respect you by showing courage.}

My mood had grown sullen and dark by then. One part of me threw away everything Elfangor said. But the other clung to every word like a piece of floating debris in an endless ocean. {What amount of respect would a hideous little thing like me earn from someone in the military?}

I meant to think the words, not say them. Thinking aloud is one of my worst habits.

{Hideous? You? Who told you that?}

Sweat formed on my palms. A slow heat crawled into my cheeks until my face was practically on fire. {A lot of people say so.}

{Have you seen your reflection lately?} He asked.

I remembered the grass all over my fur. I hastily brushed it off.

{No. I groom myself without using my reflection as a guide.}

{Then come with me.} Elfangor shifted and walked towards the lake where I'd been reading earlier. Two _arisths_ and a warrior were training nearby.

I followed Elfangor to the lake and stopped with my front hooves less than an inch from its edge. The water was so still and clear. I saw green crystals growing from its surface. They matched Elfangor's eyes.

{Now,} Elfangor directed my attention to the water. I only glanced at my pointed chin, large main eyes and wavering eyestalks. Nothing special there that I could see.

I guess Elfangor saw something I didn't. {Your eyes are very striking, Semeir. There's a fire in them. I can tell just by looking that you're always dreaming and determined. And your fur? It's the color of a _derrishoul_ tree. If people these days call that ugly, then they need all four eyes checked.}

Reluctantly, I looked down again to see if what Elfangor told the truth. I just saw myself. Hey, maybe I wasn't so ugly after all.

{I guess I look okay.} I smiled self-consciously.

{See? Just wait until you get older.} Elfangor said.

He glanced off to the side. I followed his gaze. A spar between two _arisths_ looked a little too serious. They were evenly matched, and one was bleeding from his shoulder.

I gasped. {Oh no...is that allowed?}

{No, it's not. I'm going to stop it. Take care of yourself, Semeir.}

Elfangor's reflection disappeared from the lake. I watched his retreating back with my stalk eyes. He ran right past Leehan, who watched the fight from the side.

The _arisths_ looked awestruck when Elfangor charged in to break up the fight.

My mother always said I'll know it when I see my destiny.

I knew I just saw mine.

I wanted to be like Elfangor.

And in that same moment of realization, another one came to light.

My data pad!

I searched for my missing property with panic mounting in my hearts. The frame was made of transparent plastic. And that make it difficult to spot in the grass.

{Oh no, no, no...} I groaned to myself.

It wasn't under the rocks by the lake. It wasn't tucked between two trees. I wasn't in the long clump of grass. Leehan didn't have it in his hands anymore. Blast it! Mother was going to be angry!

{Semeir!} Elfangor noticed my plight. He called to me from the top of the hill where adults monitored the field, {Lose something?}

{My data pad,} I replied, not wanting to bother him again with my silly problems. {Leehan grabbed it when he knocked me down.}

{What does it look like?}

My thoughtspeak came out more heavily than I intended, {Transparent plastic with a screen on the front and buttons all across one side.} I held my hands about half a shoulder's width apart, {It's about this big. Ohhh, I hope it isn't broken! It took Mother forever to have it made!}

Elfangor hopped down the hill and peered carefully at the grass, separating it with his hooves. {Not here} He moved over by the tree where Leehan tackled me. {Not here either. I'm sure someone will find it and look up the serial number to locate the owner.}

He faced an older Andalite coming over the hill. He said something privately. The warrior nodded and walked away.

{That's just the problem! My step-father doesn't know what I'm reading. I'll be in serious trouble if he finds out I'm downloading things off his private computer. Please don't tell him what I do with it if you find it. Please!}

There I was acting like a small child. If I had tear-ducts, I swear I would have cried.

{Don't worry, Semeir. I'm pretty good at keeping a secret.} Elfangor winked a main eye. {Come on, let's look for it. Eight eyes are better than four.}

{It's not interfering with your training?}

{Not at all.}

Elfangor and I walked around together, looking for the data pad and asking people if they had seen it.

No luck.

We talked while we searched. Mostly about dealing with bullies and the subjects that interested us.

Elfangor turned out to be such a fun person to talk to that I forgot to keep track of time. It kept getting later and later. I should have been home before dusk, but Elfangor was too enchanting. He was the warrior, the dream prince I've always imagined. Everything I wanted to be.

I couldn't bring myself to leave him.

{Don't you have classes to attend?} Elfangor asked. The question veered far off the course of our previous conversation about bullies.

{Uh...} I looked away. No point in lying. {I skipped it today. The classes for females are so mind-numbingly boring. Level one botany, ugh. Flowers are pretty, but there are already hundreds who can name plants and design a scoop.}

Stars began to appear. Lights were being lit in the fields.

{Too idealistic for plants.} He sounded amused. {That's a new one.}

{You won't tell Veilla, will you?}

Veilla-Yossgil-Bisken was my botany instructor. Old, unmarried and so strict you couldn't scratch an itch without asking her permission. I didn't like her. I didn't like how she wanted to turn everybody in her class into brainless plant people. You'd think she had no life outside of flowers!

Elfangor blinked. {She's _still_ teaching?}

I said, {Yes.}

{I remember her, and I sympathize. She cracked me over the head with her tail, once, because I fell asleep during one of her lectures.}

{You, too?} I smiled at him. {She yells at me for daydreaming all the time. I can't help it. She's so monotonous and-}

{Semeir!}

My mother galloped over the hill. I could recognize her hoofbeats anywhere. Mother was lovely with large main eyes as gold as the gold in our sky. People say I look just like her, but my fur is lighter in color than hers. I don't think any female will ever be prettier than my mother. At least not to me.

{Semeir- _kala_ , what have I told you about playing out this late? Come along! Your step-father is worried!}

I felt my hearts skip a beat. I barely noticed Elfangor's curious look. {He's home! When did he arrive?}

{Hours ago. We've been waiting on you all night.}

My step father was a spy for the Andalite government. He had several alien morphs, including a human one. Because of his job my family moved around the planet a lot. Just in case somebody tried to come after us. We never entered space with him, however, because his work was top secret. Mother knew all the details, but she never told my siblings or I anything beyond where he went.

Yes, I had a step-father. I never knew my real father because he died in combat just two days before my birth. My brother always said our father, his name was Daskamar-Eritoff-Hymnora, was a proud warrior who served the people well.

Like the Princes in the stories I enjoy reading so much.

Like Elfangor.

{I'm being called.} I sighed reluctantly, looking towards my newfound Prince, {I must go home now. Step-Father was on a mission in...I think it was sector seven, BSG-two-six-ten-eight.}

Elfangor's stalk eyes perked up. He looked between Mother and I. {His name wouldn't happen to be Naskor, would it? Naskor-Rygaan-Fillisk?}

{Greetings, War-Prince Elfangor.} My mother said. She looked surprised like the _arisths_ out on the fields. {I am Adoria-Cooraf-Hayelin. I didn't know you were familiar with my husband's line of work.}

Elfangor nodded. {I flew a mission based on his data last year. The Yeerk outpost-} Then his thoughtspeak switched to private. He and my mother spoke at length before I could hear them again. {-and I'm glad he got out of there. I wish him luck on his next pass.}

{Thank you, and thank you for watching over my daughter.} Mother said kindly. {Semeir? Let's go.}

Elfangor politely nodded his head. I shot him a pleading look, hoping he wouldn't mention the data pad. Mercifully, he didn't, and Mother ushered me away.

{Take care.} He told me, his eyes tilting in a smile that lit up his face.

I smiled back. Elfangor turned and cantered back into the field.

{The people you run into,} Mother said, shaking her head at me. She was smling, too.

At home, I usually talked the most. I loved to make up stories about beating up Yeerk monsters.

But that night I was quiet. Step-Father didn't bother rebuking me-he and I weren't close and all discipline was left up to Mother. And Mother didn't yell either.

My brother, Tetrof and my older step-sister, Coofani, noticed my silence. Who wouldn't?

{So...what happened to make you late this time?} Asked Tetrof. {Did you save the day from a giant mutant tree?}

My brother was large for his age with big ears and thick eyestalks that I used to pull on when I was very young. His fur was dark metallic blue. Darker and longer than Step-Father's. Mother often said he looked just like our real father. He was a year older than me and preparing to join the military academy.

Coofani had almost reached marrying age. Legally, she was an adult and preparing to start her own scoop a short trot away. I thought her almost as pretty as Mother. She was a delicate _estreen_ with long, thin legs and a perfect little tailblade. Step-father had her with another female, though I don't know the details of that relationship or why they separated.

She appeared at Tetrof's side and folded her hands together. {Were you hiding again?}

Hiding. I was excellent at disappearing. I'd curl up behind a patch of bushes or a thick circle of _derrishoul_ trees and read my fairytales. Nobody could find me. My fur blended in with the surrounding fauna.

{No. I wasn't hiding.} My main eyes rose to meet their excited faces. {I met a Prince today.} I blushed and dug my forehoof into the grass. {It was like those stories I read.}

{Oh...} Coofani smiled at me affectionately. She reached back to smooth some fur down on her flank and asked, {Did he sweep you off your hooves?}

{No...but he did make me forget to keep track of time.}

{What was his name?} Tetrof asked excitedly, playing along. He thought I made it up!

Still digging a rut in the grass with my hoof, I answered, {His name was Elfangor.}

Coofani's hands fell to her sides. Tetrof's eyes bugged out. They looked at me as if I had just given them the most shocking news in the universe.

{Elfangor! _War-Prince_ Elfangor?} They cried in unison.

The reaction startled me.

{Yes. Why?} I asked.

{Elfangor-Sirinial-Shamt-}

{Coofani!} My eyes widened. I'd met him, and I'd had no clue who he was. My history lessons hadn't covered his involvement in the war. I just knew he was a huge hero, and I made myself look like a complete moron in front of him!

Then I remembered his face. My cheeks heated. Elfangor _was_ a very handsome Andalite. Nobody ever mentioned _that_.

I couldn't believe it. A prince _did_ come to my rescue!

Coofani smiled at me with her slender stalk eyes. {Look, Tetrof. Semeir is in love! Isn't that cute?}

{Oh Coofani, stop. I am not!} I turned my blushing face away from them both.

{Suuure you aren't.} Tetrof smirked. He shook his head while trotting away to feed.

Coofani reared up on her hind legs and cantered off to help Mother trim the shrubs outside the scoop. Leaving me alone with my thoughts.

Maybe I was in love. In love with a great hero. One of the greatest Andalite warriors alive. Prince Elfangor-Sirinial-Shamtul.

I daydreamed about running through the grass with him. Daydreams were all I had. Why would Elfangor trouble himself with someone like me again?

{Semeir?}

I turned my stalk eyes to Step-Father's serious face. He stood right beside me, tall and imposing, yet I felt no attachment to him. Never did. In fact, I always resented that Mother married again. I did not resent Step-Father. He was a good male Andalite and he took care of the family, but...the principle of the thing irked me!

If I loved someone like she loved Father, I wouldn't marry again if he died! Ever!

{Yes, Step-Father?}

{Please don't play with my computer again. I've just entered sensitive information into the databank. You might mistakenly download it along with anything else you add to your data pad.}

My hearts paused upon him mentioning the data pad. I worried he would ask to see it. He didn't-much to my relief.

{I never go into anything with a password.} I said.

{I know. But for safety's sake, ask me next time.} He reached out and brushed his hand over the top of my head. {And please don't stay out so late. Your mother worries.}

{It was an accident. I'm sorry.}

Step-Father sighed quietly. {Listen...don't get too enamored with Prince Elfangor. My situation is growing dangerous. We might have to move scoops again soon.}

Move? Again? My hearts sank. Tetrof had no trouble moving schools, but I hated it. I would have to scout out new places to hide out and avoid a different set of bullies like Leehan.

{Must we?} I groaned.

{Yes, unfortunately. It goes with my job. It's for your safety.} He patted my head again. {Get some sleep, Semeir.}

{It's still early.}

{And you're still young yet. Do as I say, Semeir- _kala_.}

Then Step-Father left me to join Mother in the field outside our scoop. They ran together, two dark shapes holding hands under the four crescent moons.

I folded my arms and shut my eyes.

Moving again. Great. I got to be the fresh new target for whoever ran the field at another school.

Meeting Elfangor was too good to be true after all.


	3. Map of a Dream Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2

Chapter 2

.o

Several days passed, and they were filled with the rumble of Dome ships taking off and landing. If I got lucky, I could spot them rising or descending through the atmosphere.

There was a launch that day, but I had to miss it. I was stuck studying blades of grass with Veilla. We were out near the combat practice area, taking samples.

Veilla droned on, {The photosynthesis of red leads to...}

But I'd stopped listening.

With my talk eyes, I was watching Elfangor run in the field as he trained _arisths_ in the art of fighting.

The way he curled his legs with every graceful running step. The streak of light that followed his tailblade when he snapped his tail during a spar. The ripple of his muscles when he ducked and countered an _aristh's_ strike.

It made me feel like the Little Mermaid watching her human prince.

He was everything I wanted to become. So graceful. Strong. Powerful. Unstoppable.

{Semeir!} Veilla snapped.

I jolted to attention. {Yes, ma'am?}

The old female narrowed her main eyes at me. They were a dull bronze color and set wide apart on her dark violet face. She was probably beautiful once upon a time.

{Keep your eyes focused on your lesson.} She said. {You have no place among warriors. You are a female, you belong here with other females. Leave the males to fight our battles.}

{How can we make a difference when we waste our time staring at plants all day?}

That was the _wrong_ thing to say to a passionate botanist, and I immediately regretted it. Plants made her happy. I just insulted her passion far worse than she'd insulted mine.

I shut out most of her private thoughtspeak yelling, and after the session was over and the other females were dismissed, I received my punishment. Thanks to my terrible brain-to-thoughtspeak filter, I spent the afternoon writing a lengthy essay about the _therant_ tree life cycle.

It took so long because the subject matter bored me to death. I probably fell asleep twice!

But when I finished and handed it in, I smugly noted it was my best writing yet. I guess I did absorb more than I thought.

Veilla let me go.

Finally.

I galloped into the field to search for my lost data pad, but I couldn't find it. All my hopes rested on someone finding it and sending it to my scoop.

I spent the remaining afternoon watching Elfangor run drills. There were other warriors, but he held my attention the most.

And once again, I forgot the time. How in _yaolin_ does it slip by me so easily?

Evening painted the sky different shades of purple and red. The closest sun rode low like a large pearl following its brother into the ocean. Night followed; it was soon hanging solidly over the planet.

I noticed my error when lights were lit in the field. Oh no! Late again! I was _really_ going to get in trouble now!

Where was my mother? She hadn't come searching for me. She always came to get me if I didn't appear after the closest sun went down.

Nothing could ever prepare me for what happened next.

Everybody in the field suddenly stopped. They were all looking in the same direction. Some started shouting while others pointed. Even Elfangor was frozen in place.

With my stalk eyes I followed their gaze and saw a huge pillar of smoke rising from the direction my mother always came from.

It was dark-the smoke could have been the result of a fire between the field and my scoop. Fires were rare, but they happened.

Before I knew it, the Andalites on the field were galloping in my direction. I didn't want to get caught in the stampede, so I ran ahead. The other part of me feared I would run into my angry Step-Father. He might think I was caught in or caused that fire!

My hooves beat the grass. The scoop I lived in was concealed by a thick forest of _therant_ and _derrishoul_ trees. Step-Father chose it because it was so well hidden from passers by.

I wish I'd never gone home that night. Nothing compared to the moment I leapt the last stream and burst through the familiar triangle of yellow grass marking the edge of my family's scoop.

The smell reached me first. A sickeningly sweet scent that stung my nose.

I rushed ahead.

The beautiful inner trees were black and sizzling. The grass withered and crumbled. Tendrils of orange and yellow whirled dangerously around everything combustible.

Amidst the flames, I saw a bladed arm moving. A Hork-Bajir!

The Yeerks had discovered my step-father! But how?

I hid behind a tree, choking on smoke and looking for a way in through the fire. There was none. No way in. No way out, that I could see anyway.

Then the flames parted for a moment, and I saw my family all on their knees. Their tails had been severed by Dracon fire. I know because I saw their tails laid out like prizes.

Step-Father bled from wounds on his arms, and a dead Hork-Bajir lay at the edge of the scoop. He'd put up a fight before the Dracon beams came out. I could see he was weak from blood loss.

Two new Hork-Bajir emerged from a holographic shelter designed to look like a tree cluster. I knew it hadn't been there in the morning. I always noticed any new trees Mother planted.

The Hork-Bajir dropped to the ground. I saw them in silhouette from far away. Jagged arms and legs. Long necks. They moved like nightmares.

One Hork-Bajir was missing the tip of a blade on his forehead. I watched him aim his handheld Dracon pistol at the back of my step-father's head.

TSEEWW!

Step-Father's main eyes were blown out of their sockets. He crumbled and died facedown in his own blood. Mother stared blankly ahead. I heard Coofani whimper. Tetrof tried to leap up.

{You filthy-}

TSEEWW!

It looked surreal, the way the hole opened in Tetrof's chest. His legs collapsed like somebody sucked out their bones. The scarred Hork-Bajir walked closer and shot him again in the face.

Tetrof stopped moving. The top half of his head was gone.

Not real. Not my family. A dream. A terrible nightmare.

Why couldn't I wake up?

Mother screamed, a horrible, shrill keening I'll never forget. She tried to run towards Tetrof.

TSEEWW!

Her cry stopped. It didn't fade, it didn't waver. It just stopped like somebody slapped a silencer into my brain. Her body fell halfway between Coofani and Tetrof.

All alone now, Coofani started to morph. I saw the beak of a _Kafit_ bird melt from the bottom of her face. Colorful feathers sprouted on the top of her head to form almost like a wave down her body.

"Stop her!"

TSEEWW!

My step-sister died with wings for arms.

Deafening quiet followed. I heard and smelled my scoop burning. I tried to tell myself it wasn't real. My family wasn't just murdered before my eyes.

The Hork-Bajir moved deeper into my family's scoop. One emerged with Step-Father's computer system. The other-the one with a damaged forehead blade-paused. His companion shoved the computer system seemingly into a clump of trees.

I clutched at the tree I hid behind.

How did they get on the planet? How did they find Step-Father? How?

A third Hork-Bajir emerged when the wounded one climbed inside the hologram.

"Visser Ten, one of them is missing!" The tallest barked. I never heard the reply, and I didn't understand all of the _Galard_ -except for the words _Visser Ten_.

The wounded Hork-Bajir stuck his head back out. "Find her! I want his family wiped out! Nobody spies on us! This is a message to all Andalite scum! Find the girl, and kill her!"

He withdrew into the hologram again.

I backed away. My stalk eyes searched behind me, but I forgot to look down.

CRACK!

A dead branch. The snap echoed, and the two Hork-Bajir still outside focused right on me.

They aimed their Dracon pistols.

I was going to die a violent, horrible death.

TSEEWW! TSEEWW!

Dracon beams tore apart the trees beside me!

{NO! NOOO!} I shrieked and bolted for my life. The only home I ever knew exploded in a huge ball of Dracon beam fire. I kept screaming as I ran blindly through the night.

The two Hork-Bajir gave chase. I heard their feet pounding into the ground. I took a convoluted path through the forest surrounding my scoop. Hoping beyond hope to lose them. Branches whipped me. Rocks dug at my hooves. I held up my hands to protect my head.

TSEEWW! Dracon Beam fire! A tree I passed disintegrated!

TSEEWW! Heat tore across my left flank and made me stumble!

I kept running, the image of my family's death forever emblazoned on my brain. The panic left me nearly senseless. I paid no attention to the terrain. I don't remember how far I ran.

Suddenly, my hoof caught between two roots. I was running so fast that my own momentum carried me forward. Something snapped. I put my foreleg down and my body buckled sideways.

Footsteps came closer. Trees were being cut down. Any second now, they would find me.

I tried to get up, and immediately collapsed again in pain. My right front hoof pointed sideways at a ninety degree angle. When I lifted my leg, the lower portion of it just dangled like a piece of cloth with a hoof at the end.

Broken!

I managed to get up anyway.

{ _ARGH!_ }

My leg throbbed until blackness pricked at my vision.

I used my hands to hold my injured leg up and tried to keep running on the other three. My speed was cut in half. The Hork-Bajir were gaining.

Panting now, tired from the effort, I jumped a fallen _derrishoul_ tree. It topped a hill freshly sodden for new grass. My three hooves sank into the mud, and I went down. Slid all the way to the bottom.

I would have given anything for this to be Leehan chasing me as I lay there while my sides heaved. I couldn't run another step.

Something huge jumped off the hillside.

 __

I'm going to die. I thought. Cold horror formed in my chest. _I'm not going to be humiliated and sent running. I am going to die here_.

Two sets of Hork-Bajir feet stopped near my head. I raised my stalk eyes to look at them. The barrel of a Dracon pistol was staring me in the face and I knew the end had come.

A deadly silence settled over the area. The finger on the trigger tightened. I closed my eyes and waited for the inevitable.

CLOMP-CLOMP, CLOMP-CLOMP, CLOMP-CLOMP...THUD!

Something slammed into the first Hork-Bajir from behind. I saw him cartwheel over my body to land near my hind legs. He got right back up and aimed his weapon.

TSEEWW! A shot was fired from the left by the other Hork-Bajir!

The hooves shifted and kicked up dust.

FWAPP! TSEEWW! FWAPP! FWAPPFWAPP!

The headless body of one Hork-Bajir landed next to my face. The first Hork-Bajir jerked upright without his weapon. He bellowed something I couldn't understand and charged whoever had killed his fellow Controller.

Something blocked out the stars. I was too dazed and injured to move. I had just enough strength to raise my stalk eyes a fraction of a degree and fix my gaze on the object eclipsing the sky.

Elfangor stood in all his glory above me, his upper body angled slightly forward in an attack posture. He was watching the charging Hork-Bajir. His eyes were focused. Intent. Angry. His tail stayed arched, the blade glistening.

When the Hork-Bajir was less than three feet away, Elfangor's tailblade lashed out!

FWAPP! FWAPP! TING! TING!

The Hork-Bajir blocked with his wrist blades and countered with a strike that sliced Elfangor's arm. Elfangor placed his hand over the wound. He struck again, his tail coming in low. The Hork-Bajir looked down in shock as the tailblade entered his side and caused a few loops of intestine to herniate through the wound.

FWAPP!

Elfangor's tail took a last swing and the headless body slumped to the ground. He watched the corpse fall as he caught his breath. He turned his main eyes to the wound on his arm for a moment. Trails of blood leaked over his bicep when he lifted his hand.

With the slightest wince Elfangor stepped towards me and knelt down. When he spoke, his voice was far, far away. {Semeir? Can you hear me?}

More hooves beat the ground. I felt their vibrations. People atop the hill screamed at the sight of my burning scoop. I heard confused chatter, but I couldn't, I wouldn't acknowledge it.

My entire world was destroyed, and I watched it happen. I'd stood there, frozen. My inaction killed my family.

{Semeir!} Elfangor called out. He looked up. {Over here! I need a medic!}

He repositioned my head and arms, but thankfully didn't touch my legs.

{Semeir,} he tried again, {it's Elfangor. Can you hear me?}

I tried to answer, but I didn't have the strength. I was too traumatized.

Why? Why had this happened? Why my family?

{You're safe now.} Elfangor told me. I saw his face block out the moon. He gestured to someone I couldn't see.

More Andalites joined us. Their thoughtspeech warped into gibberish. My brain couldn't take any more. The last thing I remembered was grabbing Elfangor's hand while someone assisted me onto a transport stretcher.


	4. Map of a Dream Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3

Chapter 3

.o

Time went by. Much of it without me.

I swung between nightmares and nothingness, hoping beyond hope to wake up and find my life normal again. I guess the trauma hit me so hard that my brain blanked out. I don't remember the traction splint being fitted to my leg, the faces of the medics who cared for me or even the time I spent in the medical facility.

Clarity returned eventually, and it wasn't to what I'd hoped for.

I was lying on my side in an unfamiliar scoop. I saw a communications array under one canopy and a computer console under another. There was a stream babbling around the perimeter and tons of red grass. I became aware of a blanket wrapped around my shoulders and a mound of grass propping my head up.

My whole body spasmed in pain when I tried to move. I let off a moan and, almost immediately, someone knelt down beside me.

{Shhh, it's all right. You're in my scoop and you're safe.} Elfangor spoke gently from above. I managed to focus on his face as he continued, {You were senseless for over a week because of the trauma, but you'll recover. You have to stay off your leg for a couple of weeks unless you're morph capable.}

No, I hadn't touched the Escafil device yet.

I laid my head back onto the grass without answering.

Was any of this real? Did I dream the horrible sight of my family burning?

{This might not help much...} Elfangor leaned over me, and I could tell he was trying to get a real reaction out of me. {...but I found this in the field this morning. It was buried under branches.}

My data pad!

I hugged my prized possession to my chest and moved my stalk eyes to stare at the splint on my broken leg. I even tried to move it, but the splint wouldn't let me.

Elfangor moved to get up. I didn't want him to leave!

{Elfangor!} I cried out.

He looked relieved to hear me speak again.

{Hey.} He knelt next to me. {Can I bring you anything?}

{I want to go home.}

Elfangor's stalk eyes sagged. As if he, in some way, understood how I felt. He said, {I'm sorry, Semeir...I'm so terribly sorry about your family.}

I felt a pinch when he gave me a dose of painkiller via a hypo spray. He rubbed my shoulder to soothe the injection site. I started to feel sleepy almost immediately.

In my drugged haze, I heard myself ask, {Elfangor...what if those Yeerks come looking for me here?}

{The ones who chased you are dead. Visser Ten escaped into space.}

{Did any of my family survive?} I asked. A futile question. Foolishly, I kept hoping my asking several times would get a different answer.

His face fell, and I knew my tactic wouldn't work. I didn't dream it. They were gone. All of them. I couldn't pretend it away.

I shuddered. Visser Ten was still free. Yeerks don't have any sense of honor-they infest or they kill.

And Visser Ten wanted me dead. He would have gotten his wish if Elfangor hadn't come to my rescue.

But it wasn't like our first meeting. It wasn't a fairy tale. Being rescued didn't make everything all right again. There would be no triumphant gallop into the sunset.

{I-I'm scared.}

Elfangor laid his hand over mine. I saw fierceness in his eyes. {That's why I'm here. I'm going to protect you, okay? Now try to rest. I'll stay next to you. Nothing bad will happen while I'm here.}

I took his advice, closed my eyes and slept. A deep, dreamless sleep that let me escape the pain ravaging my broken leg.

It turns out I went into a vicious sleep-wake cycle for several more days, probably from the mental trauma. Every time I woke up, Elfangor was right there with food, water or anything else I needed.

At times when the pain in my leg was excruciating, he held my hand and spoke soothing words to me while the painkiller took effect. He would even walk the perimeter of his scoop at night to alleviate my fears of Hork-Bajir Controllers hiding behind holograms.

Elfangor was such a kind Andalite. I wish our meeting again had been under better circumstances.

I slept and awoke several times. Drifting between doses of painkiller and crippling leg pain.

On a rainy day, I woke up to notice the scoop still empty except for Elfangor and I.

{Where are your family members?}

Elfangor looked over. {Father helps design weapons, and Mother works the assembly line. They can be away for months at a time when the military starts building new Dome ships and fighters. I have a little brother just starting his education at the Academy, so he's boarded there. How's the leg?}

{The rain makes it ache.} I answered. {Don't you have missions to go on? Those hero things you have to do?}

He laughed a bit. {Not right now.}

Our conversation faded after that. The pain medication left me groggy much of the time. I hated it-I hated that I couldn't stay focused. Hearing rain patter on the tarp above me made me sleepy. My dreams closed in again, and I welcomed them.

Finally, there came a morning when a medic-I think his name was Coaldwin-checked on my leg. He'd performed the surgery on it, but I don't remember him at all before his visit to Elfangor's scoop.

He brought a metal frame resembling a cage exactly the size of my lower body. I could use it to stand without putting weight on the wounded leg. He said something about needing to stand at least once a day to prevent blood clots-I wasn't really listening.

And I didn't like standing on only three legs like a _vecol_.

I would spend many weeks recovering, but Elfangor was patient. He tried to take my mind off the horrible events still so raw in my mind by asking me about the stories I read.

I loved telling him about those fairy tales. _The Little Mermaid. The Happy Prince. The Ugly Duckling. Sleeping Beauty. Beauty and the Beast. Thumbilena. Rapunzel_. And _Cinderella_.

 __

Cinderella was my favorite.

Elfangor reacted like he'd heard these stories before, but he didn't get bored listening to me talk about them like others did.

In fact, he looked a little sad.

He met my eyes with the weight of many years, and asked me, {If I tell you _my_ stories, can you keep them secret?}

I said that I could.

Elfangor began to speak.

The stories he told were fascinating. Fantastic. Suspenseful. He was a wonderful storyteller, better than I. His eyes and face conveyed what words could not. He told me tales far greater than anything I'd ever read. Tales I loved to listen to, even when they were sad.

I learned all about his adventure with War-Prince Alloran on a ship called _Jahar_. About how he flew a Skrit Na raider _in the Taxxon atmosphere_ at over three thousand miles per hour. There was a humorous one about driving a primitive vehicle called a Mustang over the Taxxon homeworld. That story made me laugh for the first time in...I can't even remember.

Then Elfangor told me about the Time Matrix, and how it twisted the reality he knew. He hid it away, but did not tell me where.

And finally, he spoke of a girl named Loren. He loved her so much that he became a _nothlit_ as a human for her. He tried to run away from the war to be with her on Earth, but she wasn't his destiny. I saw him trying to hide the pain, and to spare his pride I didn't ask him if he was okay.

I propped my upper body up on my elbow and looked at his face with my main eyes. It was a long way since he stood up and I was still stuck on the ground with the broken leg.

{She misses you, too.} I said.

{No, she doesn't.} Elfangor's voice changed tone. It was sad. Grieving. Laced with the same pain I felt when my life was ripped to shreds by the Yeerks. This time, he didn't bother to conceal it.

{The Ellimist wrote me out of her life. Made it so we never met. I remember everything, but she doesn't.} He looked down at me with his stalk eyes while his face turned slowly away. {She has her own mate now. She doesn't need me anymore.}

{Elfangor,} I stopped him from leaving. {If Loren's memories had remained intact, I'm sure she would be feeling the same way you are right now. Perhaps a part of her still loves you, still knows you.}

Elfangor's eyes slowly formed into a smile. A sad one. {It's the past now. I can't change it. I can only go on.}

{But you've never been able to talk about it. You said yourself that Captain Feyorn wanted to keep those details quiet.} I pushed myself up on my other elbow and said, {Elfangor, please, tell me stories if it helps. I'm hurt. You're hurt. Let's not do it alone. Okay?}

A little of the sadness lifted off his shoulders.

{It's a deal.} He replied.

I never realized how nice it was to have someone I could talk to about anything. He understood my loss because he'd suffered the same, if not worse. I wasn't afraid to tell him what was on my mind. Nothing was too silly, childish or stupid for him.

And it was through our mutual understanding that Elfangor and I became _shorms_.

.o

My leg took a painful many weeks to fully recover. Fortunately, Andalite bones are naturally quick to knit and heal stronger at the break site. Within a month's time I could gallop without pain.

Elfangor took me under his protection. He kept me close by, even going so far as to talk Veilla into signing me out of her study course. He wanted me out on the field with him.

And I observed Elfangor in the process of training a group of _arisths_ to tailfight. This time I was close enough to see every movement.

Lean the upper body forward. Arch the tail. Strike!

It didn't look that hard!

And if boys with tail blades smaller than mine could fight, then so could I! Besides, Elfangor himself told me some males would cut off their eyestalks for a blade like mine.

I hid behind several tall _derrishoul_ trees. Using what I'd seen as a guide, I swung my tail at the central tree in a clump of four. Trying with everything I had to make my tail crack the air like a warrior's.

All I mustered was a low-pitched _swoosh_.

Elfangor caught me in the act when he came looking for me.

{What are you doing to that poor tree?} He asked.

I think he knew the answer, but I replied anyway.

{Trying...} _SWOOSH!_ {To tailfight!}

I swatted again at the tree. I hadn't done much damage. Just a few scratches in the bark. Nothing that would knock out a foe in a real fight.

Elfangor smacked his palm against his own face and shook his head. An odd gesture I'd never seen before. One he perhaps picked up during his time on Earth?

{What for?}

I stared at him. I hadn't told him this yet. {I want to be a warrior like you, Elfangor. I want to make a difference in the fight against the Yeerks.}

Elfangor held my gaze. I wouldn't look away. He was searching my soul-Mother used to say you can tell when a male is doing that.

Eyes are the windows to the soul. I let Elfangor see mine. I let him see that I wasn't some child playing pretend. I _wanted_ to be a warrior. I wanted to make the Yeerk who killed my family pay.

I guess Elfangor realized I was serious. He trotted closer to me and the unfortunate tree.

{For starters-} He nudged my flank, and I stumbled, {-your stance is way off. Your flanks are open to attack and your balance isn't centered. Anybody can knock you over. See how your legs are so close together? You can't dodge like that. Try this.}

He showed me how to plant my legs and balance my weight evenly on my hooves. The foreleg I'd broken felt stiff, and the stance was awkward at first. But I found it was easier to control my tail. I could pivot on my hooves. Movements took less effort. My body felt centered, yet light.

{Now don't let your tail get too tense. Only the base and the tip need to have tension. Relax the middle. The weight of your tailblade will do all the work. Only use your whole tail for initial strikes and blocks. It's the fur at the end that cracks the air, not the blade.}

Elfangor gave his tail a casual overhead swing to demonstrate.

FWAPP!

I felt the air itself snap. He froze in position, his tailblade extended several feet past his head, exactly level with his stalk eyes.

{This is where you want a basic strike to land. Right here.}

Then he showed me how to arch my tail over my back and guided my tailblade slowly by hand.

{Your tail will stretch another six inches during a strike, and the tendons will make it recoil. A tail pulling back is as dangerous as the initial strike. Always be aware of that. Now watch, this is what a proper strike should look like.}

Elfangor backed off and demonstrated while facing me. It was the best view I'd ever had of correct tail fighting technique. I realized my tailblade would pass several inches over my stalk eyes. I had nothing to fear.

{Aim for my tailblade. Arc your tail straight forward. Now, don't think.} He said.

{Don't _think?_ }

{Tailfighting is about instinct. There's no room for thought. Trust yourself, trust your most basic of instincts, and you'll find the tail follows. Watch my blade. Don't think.}

My main eyes focused Elfangor's tailblade. He held it relaxed. Suddenly, it tensed. I could tell by how his blade seemed to pull slightly into his tail.

{Keep your main eyes on mine. Keep your stalk eyes on my tail.}

Then he struck. Not full speed.

All I could see was his tailblade coming at my face. Frightened, I scrambled backwards. I knew he wouldn't hit me, but instincts are hard to resist.

{Whoa! Easy! Easy.} Elfangor said.

That was so embarrassing! I took a second to collect myself. Warriors didn't panic!

{I-I'm sorry. I froze.}

He chuckled. {It's your first time doing this. In time, you'll learn not to flinch. Center yourself and let's try again, okay?}

Tailfighting definitely wasn't as easy as it looked.

Centering myself again, I fixed my main eyes on Elfangor's. My stalk eyes watched his tailblade. I waited.

FWAPP!

Fwapp-CLACK!

Our blades locked!

{Try not to shift your weight. It gives you away. Balance yourself. Dont clench your fists, that's another giveaway. Always keep your hands and arms close to your body, or they become targets.}

{The warriors always linked hands in the fights I saw my step-father participate in.} I said.

{That's tournament-style fighting. Different rules than a real fight.}

And then...

FWAPP! His tail came at me. He made it look effortless.

I blocked again! While Elfangor's tail recoiled, I fired my own.

FWAPP!

I watched my own tail streak over my head and smash into his tailblade. That was MY tail! I didn't even see it!

Elfangor parried my blow. His stronger tail easily turned mine aside. He did it slowly.

{Good! Very good! Now, strike that tree with everything you've got, and you'll knock it down in one swing.} He pointed to the tree I'd been abusing all morning.

Me? Knock over a tree? No way. Females weren't supposed to be that strong.

But what if he was right?

I had to try!

I faced the tree. Trusting Elfangor's words. Believing.

FWAPP!

My tail fired so fast I couldn't follow it with my eyes. I felt a moment's resistance as my tail sprang back to its original position. The tree seemed to mock me. Then a small purple line appeared across the bark like a yawning mouth. The tree tipped over against a larger _derrishoul_.

{Good work!} Elfangor clapped a hand onto my shoulder. {See? You're stronger than you think.}

{Did I really do that?} I asked stupidly. The wounded tree seemed to glare at me from its toppled position among the others just like it.

{My tail isn't _that_ long.} He remarked. {Semeir, I think you're a natural at this.}

I squared my shoulders, proud of myself. Leehan and his friends weren't going to scare me anymore. Not after I was taught how to fight by greatest Andalite warrior on the planet!

This was my chance! My chance to become what I've always wanted to be.

{Please, teach me more!}

And Elfangor happily showed me more. He taught me the _torf_ and many other tail-maneuvers. I learned how to block, dodge and strike in one smooth motion. It wasn't easy and I made many mistakes as I learned. After each lesson I spent hours alone practicing what Elfangor taught me. I was determined to make him proud.

.o

I drank heartily from the stream near the training field. My tail was sore after using muscles I wasn't used to using. I spent an hour just relaxing to let my tail rest.

Elfangor had shown me a new move called a spiral strike, where one swung their tail in a loop. A move best used when surrounded. He set up a circle of targets specifically meant for this exercise. If I executed the motion correctly, my tail made a whistling noise and the targets lit up in sequence.

Mastering that move took me several days. My tail needed to develop the flexibility. I was alone when I achieved it. I decided not to tell anyone, and left the circle of targets to refresh myself by the stream running along the training field.

Leehan spotted me. Not hard to do, I was the only female walking on the training field. He approached. I groaned mentally.

The first word out of his mind was an sexually vulgar insult that I won't repeat.

{What are you doing way out here?} He snarled at me. {This is a stream for warriors, not morons like you! Get lost!}

I tried the technique Elfangor had taught me the day we met. Pretended not to hear Leehan as I walked along the stream's edge.

{Hey! Don't you walk away from me.} Leehan's hooves came closer. More joined him, and I knew he wasn't alone.

I resisted the urge to turn my eyestalks back and acknowledge his presence or the presence of his little gang. Continued walking instead, concentrating on the moist grass beneath my hooves. Leehan didn't exist to me. His words fell on a deaf mind.

FWAPP!

Something collided heavily with the back of my head. It had enough force to make spots dance across my eyes. I stumbled and faced Leehan's smug expression. His tail was still arched in a follow-through position.

Reshalla laughed from her hiding place near a _therant_ tree. {Good one, Leehan!}

Flanking Reshalla was one of the _arisths_ that had been teasing me the day I met Elfangor. Korjig-Arrepath-Tepako was imposingly tall for his age. His tailblade had yet to catch up with the rest of his body. He was the son of Lirem-Arrepath-Terrouss. I've heard a lot about Lirem, but he didn't impress me like Elfangor did.

I turned and continued to walk away. That must have made Leehan mad, because he jumped clear over my head and landed in my path. He sneered down at me, {I thought a hit like that would have knocked some brains into that tiny little head of yours. Perhaps I should try again.}

Finally, as I moved to step around him, I spoke up. Calmly. {Leave me alone, Leehan.}

He side-stepped to stay in my way and waved his tailblade threateningly before my stalk eyes. His tailblade was fully-developed and as large as mine. When I didn't flinch, he narrowed his main eyes. They were a shade of green bordering on yellow. {You're not going anywhere.}

{Please, get out of my way.} Lifting my main eyes to meet his, I spoke with more confidence than I felt, {You're not so scary, you know.}

By then, several _arisths_ had broken away from their training exercises to watch the growing conflict between Leehan and myself. Tails twitched and flicked excitedly. Eyes were trained on our faces and movements. Hooves occasionally shuffled and scuffed in the grass.

{Is that so?} Leehan used the flat side of his tailblade to uppercut my chin. The blow sent me stumbling backwards. I almost fell into the drinking stream.

{How's that? Want some more? Or are you going to run like the baby you are?}

Korjig kicked the grass with his hooves and shifted a little to the left. {Maybe she's watering the grass. Check her legs! Aha-ha-ha, hah!}

Sweat gathered under the fur around my face and on my palms. My hearts were pounding. I tried to let the cruel words roll off my mind like water. But I couldn't. The urge to scream back and escape was getting too strong.

{Here, this will help!} Leehan leaned forward and exhaled a wad of mucus in my face, a gesture of extreme disrespect. Not to mention disgusting and childish.

I jerked my head back and raised a hand up to wipe the slimy substance off my cheek. It came off in strings that I shook away with a flick of my wrist. My eyes never left his while I performed this task.

{Ha, ha-ha, ha-ha, ha! Look! Look at her face!} Came Reshalla's hysterical laughter. {Snot-faced just like a little baby.}

I finished wiping my face off. Everywhere I looked, I saw people laughing at me.

{Come onlet's see you run crying to Prince Elfangor! Waaah! Waaah! Waaah!}

Without a word I stood there while Leehan mocked me. I stared up into his jeering eyes and felt my muscles tighten. A tiny flame in the pit of my stomach started to grow. The heat snaked its way down my back and into my tail.

{Look! I think she's going to do it!} Reshalla pointed, {She's shaking! Look at that! Just like a leaf!}

{Run and cry, little baby,} Korjig added in, {You know you want to. Go run along and cry to one of the grown-ups.}

{Waaah! Waaah! Come on, cry, baby! Waaah! Waaah!} Leehan continued.

Almost on its own accord my tail arched forward until my quivering tailblade positioned itself above my head. I squared my hooves. Angled my upper body forward just enough to keep my tailblade from hitting my eyestalks. Bent my arms and pressed them to my sides so my hands wouldn't be in the way. Fixed my main eyes on Leehan's and trained my stalk eyes on his twitching tail.

 __

That's it. I've had enough of you, Leehan! I said silently, bunching the muscles in my legs into tight coils. All conscious thought left my mind. Pure instinct took over. _I can do this. I will do this_.

{Ooh,} Someone else in the crowd gasped.

{Waaah! Cry little baby! Waaah! Wa-}

{ENOUGH!} I fired my tail. Turned it sideways at the last second.

FWAPP!

THUD!

It caught him square in the forehead!

Leehan stumbled back from the impact. I saw the shock on his face when he regained his balance.

The jeering laughter went from a pandemonium to dead silence in less than a nanosecond. Everybody was staring at me. I didn't even see them. Didn't care they existed. Leehan getting his tail whipped was all I cared about.

I charged him again!

Fwapp! Fwapp! THWACK! My tail whipped so fast I couldn't see it move!

{Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!}

FWAPP!

Leehan's tail caught my shoulder. Thankfully he hit me with the side of his blade! It still hurt. A lot.

{Put some tail into her!} Someone shouted.

FWAPP!

I retaliated by slashing a shallow gash in his left flank and followed it up with several more lightning quick thrusts.

And I saw it.

He flinched!

{Put some tail into _him!_ } Someone else shouted.

{What in _yaoilin_...?}

{She's really laying it into him!}

{Whoa! Yeah!}

{Wah-ha-ha! Check it out!}

The various shouts, cheers and jeers continued around Leehan and I. The gathering had formed a circle around us to keep the instructors in the vicinity from spotting the conflict. But it wouldn't be long before the shouting got out of control and someone alerted an adult.

Fwapp! Thwack! Thwack! FWAPP!

The flat side of my tailblade slapped against Leehan's shoulders, chest and face. Bruises and welts were already starting to appear from the impacts.

FWAPP!

I dodged left when he swung his tail for my face. Charged again. Whipped my tail from right to left. Watched his head snap to the side from the impact. Swung again from the opposite direction. Watched his head snap the other way. Two perfect _torf_ maneuvers in a row! Executed in half a second.

{Where did she learn THAT!} Korjig asked Reshalla and the other _arisths_ trembling excitedly nearby.

{Don't know.} Answered another _aristh_.

{Owww!} This time Leehan was the one who cried out in pain. I saw him shake his head and fix his angry eyes on me. {You!}

I swung my tail in a figure eight to bring my blade up to his throat. He blocked! Struck at me from above!

FWAPP!

Leehan's tail caught my chest and knocked me back. All the impact did was make me angrier than I already was. I probably should have backed off. But I couldn't. I just couldn't tear myself away from the scent of victory.

FWAPP!

Whipped across the face! Sweat flew off my fur. Pain!

Another strike!

Dodge right! Kick to the left! Strike back!

The cheering, screaming and jeering increased in volume. Any moment now, a warrior or prince was going to intervene. Someone had most likely spotted the fight and gone to alert their instructor.

I charged Leehan from the side and knocked him off his hooves. I proceeded to slap him with my tail and kick him with my front legs.

{You horrible, nasty creature!}

I've heard that under situations of extreme duress people have been known to use language not like them, and I was dimly aware of a dozen obscenities flying from my mind. I was saying words so filthy my mother would have severely reprimanded me for even thinking what was pouring out of my head and into Leehan's.

{STUPID, NO-GOOD-}

{Did you hear what she just said!} Someone in the crowd said to the person next to him.

{Whoa!}

I called him every name he called me and a few that I'd made up just for him. I told him what I thought of him and more. All the while keeping him pinned down with his tailblade trapped under his body.

Somebody hollered at me, but I was too in the zone. Too focused. My tail and cursing continued their barrage on Leehan.

Korjig's arms suddenly linked around my upper body and hauled me away from Leehan. I broke free and tried to jump Leehan again, but the arms regained their grip and yanked me further away. Through my stalk eyes I could see everyone staring at me while Leehan climbed back to his feet. He was filthy, bruised and bleeding a little.

{Okay, this is getting too serious! Come on. Stop before you get us all in trouble!} Korjig bellowed at me.

Nobody listened to him.

And Leehan wasn't finished yet!

FWAPP!

I pushed Korjig away and blocked Leehan's tail with my awkward tailblade. He swung again. And again, I blocked. I kept blocking everything he threw at me.

Then Leehan slapped my face with his hand. The second my main eyes were off his, he put his tailblade to my throat.

The fight was over. No matter how violent a schoolyard scuffle gets, it ends when one gets their tailblade to the other's throat. It was an honor thing.

Defeat tasted bitter.

{You'll never be a warrior! You're a girl and you're way too small, ugly and stupid! Stick to cleaning Elfangor's hooves and leave fighting to the boys.}

Leehan laughed and trotted off, his tail held high. Reshalla met him on the hilltop. They giggled when they galloped away. Korjig shoved past me to join Leehand and Reshalla. One by one the others who watched the fight trickled back to their regular activities.

{I'll get you! Just you wait!} I yelled at Leehan's back.

I couldn't believe it! I used all the skills I'd learned, and he beat me! It was so unfair!

My pride still smarted when I noticed Elfangor's reflection in the water. How long was he standing there? I turned my stalk eyes to peer up him.

Elfangor folded his arms over his chest. He gave me a stern look through the corner of his main eyes. That look adults often gave me when I made them angry.

Great, now I was in trouble on top of everything else!

But when he spoke, he didn't sound mad. {I saw the whole thing.}

{I didn't start it.} I blurted.

{I know. But you did great.} He moved closer. Our reflections dissolved into jagged, rippling lines when he dipped his hoof into the water.

{I lost!} I said, {I did everything you taught me and he still won! That doesn't sound like doing great to me.}

{That doesn't matter, Little Semeir,} Elfangor stepped back. He put his hand on my shoulder and said something I'll never forget as long as I live:

{It doesn't matter whether you win or lose a fight, it's the fact that you tried that counts. It took courage for you to stand up to someone that intimidates you.}

Elfangor was right. I didn't run away from Leehan.

But Leehan wasn't finished with me, either.


	5. Map of a Dream Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4

Chapter 4

.o

I awoke early and trotted up my favorite hill to perform the morning ritual. I saw Elfangor doing it. I remember how I watched him and memorized every word and gesture.

Warriors performed rituals, right?

{From the grass that feeds us...} I began, moving through the ritual until I'd completed it.

Focusing on the ritual proved difficult when I wanted to get straight to my reason for rising so early. I liked to practice tailfighting against my shadow while it still loomed large on the ground. Sometimes I pretended my shadow was another warrior, and I would have imaginary tailfighting tournaments. Glorious battles where I reigned victorious over difficult opponents.

I thought I was alone.

I was wrong.

{Don't you know this is where warriors go? Get out of here.}

I whipped my stalk eyes around.

Leehan stomped towards me, his main eyes narrowed and harsh in the morning glow.

{Oh what do you want?} I sneered back. I tried not to look embarrassed-perhaps he hadn't seen my pretend battle.

He ignored my question and kicked at the grass in front of me. A direct act of disrespect. {You've been living with Prince Elfangor haven't you?}

I wanted to shove my family's death in his face. But I still couldn't speak about them without painful flashbacks.

{That is none of your concern.} I turned my back, prepared to ignore him.

{What's the matter, brat? Are you in love with him or something?} Leehan snickered at me.

My eyes widened. That was MY secret!

{Shut up!}

Leehan laughed again. He cantered forward, shoved me and continued with his cruel taunting. Threatening to tell everyone he knew about Elfangor and I.

What would Elfangor think if Leehan spread that information around?

{Shut up Leehan!}

{Semeir loves Elfangor!} Leehan giggled at me.

Anger boiled up in me. {Shut. Up.}

{Hahaha! Semeir loves Elfangor!}

{Shut up!} I felt my muscles tense up, especially in my tail.

If I took a swing and missed, but came close enough to show how skilled I'd become, I could scare this little beast away.

Yes, the perfect plan! My tailblade went up.

{Semeir loves Elfangor!}

{Shut up Leehan!}

{SEMEIR LOVES ELFANGOR!}

{I'm warning you! Shut up!}

{ _SEMEIR LOVES ELFANGOR!_ }

{LEEHAN! SHUT UP!} I swung my tail.

FWAPP!

Leehan lunged at exactly the same moment. Then he froze. At first I thought it worked and I'd scared him.

That is, until he started to fall.

I'd forgotten about that extra stretch at the end of a tail swing. My tailblade cut his throat open. Gouts of blood squirted through the gash and stained the grass a sickening blue-black.

{Leehan! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!} I picked his head up in my hands and pressed my fingers into the wound, trying to stop the bleeding. It was like damming a waterfall with twigs. I could feel his pulse weakening as hot blood poured around my fingers. {Oh no! No, no, no! Morph! Leehan, can't you morph? Morph!}

I saw him grow _kafit_ bird feathers and his eyestalks shrank away. The gushing blood slowed. He was so weak and the morph took so long that he only morphed far enough to seal the wound. He looked grotesque with a beak and shrunken eyestalks.

{Leehan!} I shrieked.

He lost consciousness. What if he died because of me?

I ran down the hill, panicked, and burst into the scoop. Elfangor barely finished his own morning ritual when I almost slammed into him in my blind haste.

{Semeir? What's wrong?} He put his hands on my shoulders to keep me from wildly rearing up. {You're covered in blood!}

{It was an accident! I was trying to defend myself by scaring him!}

{Scare who? Slow down. Easy. Easy! Semeir, what happened? Talk to me. What happened?}

I panicked and told him everything. Everything but what Leehan was teasing me for. I could see the shock on Elfangor's face, and knew my life was over.

I was going to be locked up. Executed for attempted murder. Elfangor probably thought I was a horrible person.

Everything happened in a flurry of action.

Elfangor located Leehan, called for help and medics rushed to pick the young _aristh_ up. They took him away to a medical facility where he was treated for blood loss. I didn't hear anything for many days. When I finally did, I was relieved to know Leehan was alive, demorphed and suffered no permanent injury.

The events surrounding the injury were investigated. I had to appear before a jury. I was terrified when Elfangor wasn't allowed to observe the trial. In the end, told the truth-that he was mocking me because he thought I had a crush on Elfangor-and the whole incident was ruled accidental. Nobody was too severely reprimanded, but I felt like a terrible, horrible person.

I was released into Elfangor's care, sick and afraid I might accidentally harm someone else. If Elfangor heard anything about why Leehan mocked me that morning, he did not speak of it.

Leehan would never bother me again during my childhood, but the means by which I stopped his teasing didn't feel at all honorable. I'd hoped to gain his respect. Now, he just avoided me because the authorities forbade us from coming within a hundred meters of each other. His friends jeered me occasionally from afar.

Maybe, this time, I deserved their teasing.

For many weeks after that, I had nightmares. I guess my subconscious was punishing me in ways the authorities couldn't. I dreamed that my tailblade did far worse than cut Leehan's throat.

One time I actually woke Elfangor up when I cried out. He squeezed my shoulder and told me it was just a dream, and that he was there.

{It's ok to be afraid. Just hide. I'm here now...I can be brave for us both,} he said.

{How can you still care about me? I almost killed another Andalite!}

{It was an accident.}

{It was _my_ tail!}

{He ran into it.}

{Because I forgot my tail would stretch!}

Elfangor's eyes became pained. {Sometimes, things just happen. Terrible things. That doesn't make you a bad person.}

{I should be locked up forever. I'm only out here because the lie detector said I told the truth about Leehan running into my tail. I got off on a technicality! His family must hate me right now!}

Elfangor's hand cupped the back of my head and pulled me closer. He wouldn't let me go, and I didn't want him to.

{We do terrible things in a war, Semeir. Terrible things. Alloran getting infested by a Yeerk was _my_ fault.} He sighed. With my stalk eyes, I watched him hang his head and close his main eyes. He didn't seem to realize he said that out loud. If he did, he didn't care. {I condemned him to a fate worse than death. If we win this war, if Alloran is still alive at the end, the only thing I want to tell him is how sorry I am. I don't expect him to forgive me. I can't even forgive myself.}

{Elfangor-}

{What happened to your family wasn't your fault, Semeir.} He said each word like he knew how badly I'd beaten myself up about it. {Leehan was an accident. Learn from it. _Learn_ from the mistakes you make in life. If you never remember anything I say to you, remember that. Please, Semeir, always _learn_.}

It wasn't like Elfangor to show such vulnerability. Usually, he had a quick word to make me feel better. The sudden confession stopped my blubbering. I felt like such a child, crying about a field scuffle when he'd seen so much worse. As a warrior, I would have to see sickening scenes on a battlefield.

In this war, _no one_ was innocent. Everybody made mistakes, everybody carried guilt-even the Andalite I looked up to.

{Semeir, everyone thinks I'm a great hero, but I ran away. I ran until I couldn't anymore. I started out like you-I was about your age-wanting to be a hero and fight the Yeerks, but a war is so much more. It devours life. It twists people. I'm a hero because the Ellimist had good timing. That's all.}

{So many people look up to you.} I said, surprised. How could he speak that way?

A shudder ran through him. I wouldn't have noticed if he wasn't hugging me right then. He whispered, {If they knew the truth you do...they wouldn't, Semeir.}

{I know the truth, and I look up to you.}

Elfangor smiled down at me. It was a pained smile, and I knew he was crying inside. He wasn't the type to let other people hear him cry. He'd seen and experienced things beyond explanation or understanding. Sometimes, he seemed ready to throw his fists in the air and scream.

I knew he wouldn't. That wasn't Elfangor's style.

He took all that pain, all that weight in his hearts, and transformed it into something positive.

{Someday, I think I'll be the one looking up to _you_ ,} he said.

I don't think he realized he gave himself away.

Everybody placed him up a pedestal. I know because I do, too. Except...the more I was around him, the more I saw him as Elfangor, the Andalite who came to my rescue in more ways than one.

He is _my_ hero for _that_ alone.

I mirrored his aching smile. We held each others' gaze for many long moments. His eyes were bottomless. Looking into them was like looking into a universe.

I asked, {Are you okay?}

He nodded and looked away. His silent signal that he needed some space.

I backed away and closed all four of my eyes to think.

I guess I dozed off. When I opened my eyes again, hours had passed.

Elfangor stood beside me with his head bowed and his arms crossed, asleep. The sunlight illuminated the curve of his face. He kept one stalk eye open, but my movements didn't wake him. Even in sleep he never completely relaxed.

This time, I watched over Elfangor while he slept.

.o

Days passed slowly. Space port activity increased. Many of the _arisths_ playing in the fields disappeared when the ships took off.

I noticed Elfangor growing restless. Every morning, he checked the console. He spent a lot of time discussing battle strategies with other war-princes. I recognized this behavior. Step-Father got that way right before a mission.

Elfangor was going to be sent out into space and I'd be stuck here alone.

Finally, a morning came where he checked his console and turned around to regard me. {Do you feel like an adventure, Semeir?}

I rubbed my main eyes. Was I having a bizarre dream? {What do you mean?}

{Come with me,} Elfangor gestured to the edge of his scoop. {We're taking a trip.}

I trusted Elfangor, so I didn't ask questions.

And off we went. It was a long walk. On the way I munched on the damp blue grass and daydreamed to pass the time. What could this surprise be?

I soon found out.

{There.} Elfangor pointed to the space port in the distance.

The space port! I had never been this close before! I always watched launches from atop hills or in open fields. I could only see the ships take off from far in the distance.

Please excuse me if I sound awed. This moment was one I'll never forget.

The space port spread out before me. My breath caught somewhere in my throat. I saw a cabochon of clear glass. Gleaming metal stretched on as far as I could see. Massive engines capable of Z-space flight whirred intermittently. Steam rose from the exhaust like the breath of an incredible beast. It was laying in a docking cradle the size of a small valley.

It was beautiful.

As we got closer, I could see the Dome ship clear enough to read the writing painted on its side.

 __

DoomBlade.

Awestruck, I stared. The Dome ship dwarfed me. So huge! So massive! So-there aren't even words! Daylight glistened off the dome and the metal body shimmered.

Elfangor took my hand and met my main eyes with his. {Like it?}

{Wow!} was all I could say when he tugged on my hand.

{Come on then,} he said. {I talked to the captain. His name is Rubliss-Tance-Nekklin, and he okayed this. You're coming with me. Grand tour.}

{I'm going...} Words failed me. I was going to see the inside of a real, live Dome ship! The excitement proved almost unbearable. I followed Elfangor to one of the ramps leading into an open hatch.

Once inside, both sets of my eyes were looking everywhere, taking in all the sights.

Warriors and princes bustled around. Some looked at me with puzzled expressions. Others merely walked past. Still more focused on packing items into compartments. Two tough-looking officers patrolled the passageways with shredders strapped into bandoliers.

Everyone seemed to know Elfangor, calling him by name and greeting him warmly. Elfangor returned the greetings with equal respect.

{Let's go to the dome and eat. It's fun to brag that you ate dome grass.} Elfangor chuckled.

Something to rub in Leehan's face someday? I was all for it!

{Fine with me.} I answered and followed him to the dome. It was a long walk and the metal beneath my hooves felt awkward. I was used to grass, not a hard surface. I found my stalk eyes swiveling to take in the colored lights blinking on panels in the walls. Against the dull gray, the brilliant LED's stood out like stars.

The artificial gravity was running in the dome. I still felt intimidated by the idea of stepping off the side. It looked like the end of a cliff leading into the sky. I closed all four of my eyes and stepped forward.

It was nothing to fear. My sense of up and down remained intact despite the change in orientation. How silly could I be, thinking Elfangor would lead me into harm?

Once Elfangor and I entered the dome, I raced across the grass. I ran so fast that Elfangor started to speak without realizing I'd taken off.

{Hey! Wait up!} Elfangor raced after me, laughing. He caught up in a few galloping steps. Of course he would, nothing seemed like an effort for him.

{This is one of our newest Dome ships.} He said, coming alongside me. {I helped design this dome.}

I stopped running when he did. {Really?}

Elfangor gestured behind me to a fountain burbling within a pond surrounded by purple crystals and blue grass. The way the water rose in a circle of arcs falling towards the center looked quite attractive. {The idea of that came from my time on Earth, but don't tell anybody. It's our secret.}

I liked it when Elfangor told me secrets. He trusted me as much as I trusted him.

{What about-}

Scrunch!

Metal creaked and whined. The grass beneath my hooves started to vibrate. I felt a strangely sickening sensation as the ship rotated from horizontal to vertical. Pressure forced me almost to my knees, but it disappeared immediately. I could see nothing but red and gold sky above my head.

I widened my stance. {What's happening?}

{You'll see. Watch up there,} said Elfangor, who directed my attention skyward.

I looked up while the vibrations grew stronger.

BANG! WHOOOOOSH!

Before my eyes, the sky itself rushed towards the dome. Its color grew thinner like a dispersing fog until, finally, it exploded into blackness.

I felt disoriented. My sense of up and down disappeared once again for a heartbeat-and then I realized the artificial gravity in the dome had been shut off for launch and was just coming back online.

Space! I was in space!

My eyes, all four of them, were riveted on the star-speckled blackness. The stars didn't twinkle due to a lack of atmospheric disturbances.

Without thinking, I reached out and grasped Elfangor's hand. He didn't pull away. Instead, he made the moment more wonderful by closing his fingers around mine.

I felt like a fool. Me, enamored by a sight he'd seen a thousand times. Yet, as we stood there holding hands and surrounded by stars, I noticed Elfangor didn't take the view for granted.

What would it feel like to stroke his cheek? What would it feel like if he stroked mine? Was he the type who enjoyed a kiss under the stars?

I still had a few years to go before I was physically mature and old enough to marry, but that didn't mean I could not imagine the possibilities. I was still a child-and my ideas of romance were simple. The rescue, the kiss, the galloping hand in hand into the sunset.

Or stars, in this case.

{Beautiful view, isn't it?}

I blinked out of my thoughts. I hope he didn't sense what was on my mind. That would be so embarrassing!

{Very much so.} I said. But I wasn't looking at the stars.

For the longest time I lost myself in silent stillness of space. So many stars and clusters, all so beautiful.

More people came into the dome to graze. Warriors. I stiffened and tried to look like I belonged there.

{Come on, let's keep going with the tour.}

Elfangor took me down to the engine area and showed me the 'heart' of the ship. He told me how everything worked, taught me how to repair or replace things, and I never forgot any of it because everything had its own pattern. I saw how the weapons systems worked, how the Z space engines functioned...you name it, I saw it.

Females rarely ever learned this stuff. Really. I was supposed to be studying the arts, botany or medicine, but none of that ever interested me. Staying stuck on the homeworld, assembling Escafil devices, treating wounds or designing grass patterns for a scoop held no appeal.

I wanted to fight. I wanted to make a difference.

With Elfangor, that dream stood in my reach. I knew he believed in me.

And he made me realize it wasn't all about fighting ability. Warriors had other skills-like tactical operations, computer programming and negotiation. Everybody aboard the _DoomBlade_ had a purpose except me.

 __

I'll change that someday! I told myself.

{Where are we going now?} I asked. {Aren't you supposed to be on duty?}

{I am on duty right now. My duty is to show you around.} Elfangor told me. He sounded amused.

We rounded a corner and entered an enclosed, dark room. I didn't like the small space at first-Andalites are naturally claustrophobic-but Elfangor showed no such unease. I took my cues from him.

{This is a flight simulator. _Arisths_ use this to practice their piloting and shooting skills.} He crinkled his main eyes in a silent laugh. {I like to think of it as a glorified video game. It's almost as real as a real combat mission. Would you like to try it out?}

{It's allowed?}

He shrugged. {Nobody will get hurt.}

Elfangor did say it was all right...

I scrambled for the weapons console to examine the layout. Elfangor showed me how to operate everything. Then he ran a few holographic simulations. I needed a couple of tries before I fired the weapons without hesitation or mistake. Elfangor showed me what an incredible pilot he was. He pulled maneuvers I'd be afraid of attempting, and he made it appear as easy as breathing. Maybe he was just fooling around because it wasn't real.

{So...what do you think so far?} Elfangor asked after our fourth round in the simulator.

{It's incredible!}

{I'm glad you like it. You make this trip feel less lonely.}

That statement caught me off guard. I started to say I was glad he'd brought me along.

Then an announcement destroyed the budding mood:

{All warriors and princes, this is your Captain speaking. Report to the bridge!}

The bridge!

{Let's go!} Elfangor said. He galloped a few strides ahead. I followed close behind, though he was hard to keep up with. I nearly knocked over another prince headed in the opposite direction.

Several warriors and princes trickled into the hall. They went through the door leading to the bridge. I started forward. The tall, burly guard blocked my way.

{Hey! She can't go in there!}

Elfangor turned his main eyes to warrior guarding the doorway. I swear on my tailblade that this warrior made Elfangor look like a child. His hooves alone were bigger than my hands! His _legs_ looked as big around as my upper arms!

And Elfangor didn't appear intimidated. He looked the other warrior in the eyes.

{She's with me, Gafinilan. Take it up with Captain Rubliss if you want to argue.}

That halted the argument faster than a tailblade. Elfangor once told me the captain's word was law.

The warrior-Gafinilan-moved aside with a low growl, and I was suddenly on the bridge of the _DoomBlade_. If the engines were the heart, the bridge was the brain. I barely contained my excitement. My stalk eyes swiveled about, taking in the circular room and colorful tactical displays.

The Captain, Rubliss-Tance-Nekklin, stood in the center of everything and gave out orders via hand signals. Thoughtspeak was kept to a minimum. An Andalite manned almost every station

The warriors and princes moved about like the parts of a well oiled machine. Some smiled as they passed, while others looked at me as if the captain was insane for letting a female child on the bridge.

I felt insignificant in their presence. Especially when one of the warriors sneered at me. It reminded me of the glares Leehan used to shoot my way. He would be so jealous if he knew I got to stand on the bridge of a Dome ship.

Captain Rubliss' eyes met mine. He smiled and beckoned me over.

{Go on.} Elfangor said. Privately, he added, {Rubliss likes children. He told me to bring you along. Don't worry, he's easygoing. You'll like him.}

Then Elfangor took up an observation station at my left, leaving me to approach the captain alone.

I squelched my nerves and looked up.

{Greetings, sir.} I said.

{Hello there. Private thoughtspeak only on the bridge, please.} Captain Rubliss replied. His thoughtspeak was deep and pleasant, but I sensed his power, too. {First time in space?}

{Yes.} I nodded, keeping my thoughtspeak private. {Is it a lot of fun to run a ship?}

Captain Rubliss crinkled his eyes and laughed. {You bet it is!}

My nervousness dissolved. He was fun!

Honestly, I thought all captains were the same: old, nasty and ready to stomp everyone who crossed their paths.

But Rubliss was different. I could tell he was getting on in years, but he wasn't particularly large and didn't look as imposing as the warriors all around. I might have mistaken him for an _aristh_ if it weren't for the way he held his tail. His narrow main eyes were pale green while his stalk eyes shone as dark as grass-a rare mix of genetics giving him eye colors from both parents.

{I hear Elfangor has been teaching you the ways of the warriors.} Rubliss said, shaking me from my thoughts. {It's a little unusual to see a female interested in a male-dominated role.}

The captain was talking to me again! I had to say something smart, something that didn't make me look like an idiot.

{I want to make a difference,} I replied.

{Ah.} His shrewd main eyes bore into mine like he could see right through me. He didn't smile, but he wasn't mad, either. {Don't we all?}

I couldn't help but smile back. My stalk eyes turned to focus on Elfangor. He looked so dashing in his seriousness.

Rubliss noticed my behavior. He winked, {I know that look.}

{What look?}

The old captain folded his arms. He was smiling again. {Semeir, I have two grown, married daughters. They have stars in their eyes around their husbands. You have stars in your eyes right now. You're in love.}

My face felt hotter than a sun under Rubliss' gaze. I glanced at Elfangor again, watching him mull over something on the communications array. He seemed so intent that I feared he would shatter into a billion pieces if I disturbed him.

{Young love.} Rubliss shook his head and chuckled. {Don't worry, your secret is safe with me.}

Then he gave the T.O. more orders. The display in front of me showed the Dome ship changing course.

{Taking care of Captain Rubliss?} Elfangor asked as he passed.

Rubliss raised a brow. {Definitely.}

{We're just talking.} I answered, and Elfangor cocked his head, probably receiving a private thoughtspeak message. Whatever was said didn't remain private. I caught the tail end of it.

{-sector seven! Several on an intercept course!}

My eyestalks perked at that.

{Time to launch more fighters!} The captain ordered. His warm demeanor evaporated. The tension on the bridge increased tenfold.

I squinted at the radar hologram in the middle of the room. I saw several red dots, where at first it had only been showing green specks to signify the patrolling Andalite fighters.

Elfangor spoke privately to Rubliss for a moment. Both looked at me. The captain nudged Elfangor with his tail. His eyes twinkled. He looked young again. {It isn't something Lirem would approve of, but I won't tell him about it. Do it.}

{Thank you, Captain Rubliss.} Elfangor dipped his head respectfully and turned his stalk eyes to me, {Let's go, Semeir.}

I followed him out of the bridge to the dropshaft. Just before he stepped in, he regarded me.

{Are you ready to see a real battle instead of a simulator?}


	6. Map of a Dream Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5

Chapter 5

.o

My hearts did two backflips. {Rubliss allowed it?} I asked, forgetting to add Captain before his name.

{You aren't an _aristh_ , technically, and Captain Rubliss likes to see the younger crew members get some action. Just don't disobey his orders. He'll scare the fur right off your back.}

The captain of the ship thought of me as a crew member? I felt important-I was more than a dead weight aboard the _DoomBlade_. I had a purpose just like everybody else.

We stepped into the dropshaft together. The walls zoomed past us.

{I want in.} I said.

Elfangor's eyes twinkled. {Good. Follow me.}

We emerged into the fighter bays. I saw the other pilots climbing into their fighters and wishing each other good luck. Hooves could be heard clomping all around.

{Hey, Elfangor! Good luck. That goes for you too young one,} said a Prince. It felt nice to hear that until he added, {It's insane to let a child into a fight...} Then I heard him call out, {Galuit! Are you ready?}

{Of course.} Came the reply from another Andalite. He ignored me completely, but paused to regard Elfangor with a nod.

{Don't worry Samilin. Semeir and I can take care of ourselves.} Elfangor chuckled. {Galuit! Watch your flanks out there!} He added, and we slipped into the cockpit of the fighter.

I was in a real Andalite fighter. The concave control panels surrounded the bridge. I wiggled in next to Elfangor with room to spare.

{Do you think you can handle the weapons station?} He asked.

{Me? Wow. I-yes!} I quickly lined myself up like I did in the simulator. To my dismay, I was beginning to forget half of what I'd learned just a scant hour before! Hopefully, if any kind fates were on my side, I would remember again in time to shoot something down.

Elfangor closed the hatch and performed a quick systems check. Various monitors flickered on. Buttons flashed and sensor readouts beeped.

{Ready?} he turned his stalk eyes to me.

{Ready!} I lied and put my tiny hands on the panel.

The computer counted down. When it reached zero-

{LAUNCH!} Rubliss ordered over the com.

FWOOOOOOOSH!

The floor shuddered beneath my hooves. We were off! Outside the armor of the _DoomBlade_ , I felt suddenly vulnerable without several feet of metal between me and the vacuum.

Lasers fired. Bug fighters zipped about. Andalite fighters flashed by. It was terrifyingly silent like a holo-movie with the sound muted.

The sector seven, BSG system shone in the distance. Mostly gas giant planets with rocky worlds closer to the blue central star. In the background, a colorful nebula stretched for light years. The newborn stars inside formed a trapezoid shape.

{Are the weapons systems online?} Elfangor's thoughtspeak startled me.

I jolted out of my awed state. It wasn't a game anymore. I'd joined real combat, not come here on a leisure trip!

My fingers flew across the display panel, which lit up at my touch. I kept a stalk eye on the action outside while I explored the panel. I began to feel like I didn't belong. Being female and young as I was, I had far more to prove than any lowly _aristh_. Spoiling this mission meant I might never get another chance like this.

 __

Don't blow it, Semeir, I told myself.

{Weapons online.} I said.

Elfangor spoke, {What's the trick with level gamma shredders again?}

{They have a ten second delay between coming online and firing readiness.}

{Right. Don't forget to turn on the targeting system.}

How could he fly so casually and talk at the same time? We were dodging enemy fire and he ran me through the startup procedures as if we were still in the simulator!

{Got it.} I flicked on the controls, hoping to find the right ones, and the targeting system eventually came online. Whew! My hands were shaking, {Ready.}

{Fire when I give the order. Aim ahead of the fighters. Let the targeting sensors lock and you won't miss,} he said. {It's just like the simulator. The only difference is you don't try again if you blow up.}

{I'll try not to let us blow up.}

He chuckled. {Me, too.}

{Captain Rubliss won't get in trouble for this, will he?}

{Not really. You're flying with a trained pilot and this is light combat.}

Good. I didn't want Captain Rubliss demoted because he took a chance. He could still catch trouble if something happened to me.

But I trusted Elfangor's skills.

Debris drifted past the front viewport. Elfangor flew us around it, but I didn't feel the motion because the dampeners worked their magic. I couldn't believe how easily the motions of his hands guided the ship. He piloted as deftly as a _kafit_ bird winged across the sky.

The targeting display began searching for a target in range. A white circle followed the moving red specks. When it found one, the targeting circle turned purple and flashed. The bug fighter flew right back out, but I knew exactly what to look for when I had a lock.

{All right. Ready.}

Elfangor narrowed his main eyes. {Semeir, keep your attention on the fight!}

I realized I'd been watching him with my stalk eyes. I pointed them towards the front viewport while my main eyes watched the targeting array. Stupid! This wasn't the time to observe how Elfangor flew a fighter!

Purple circle!

I gasped. {Locked!}

{Fire at will!}

At his command, I stalked my first real target. It was a bug fighter tailing a damaged Andalite vessel.

Elfangor looped around to avoid debris. I fired late. My first shot arced wide and missed by hundreds of meters. I locked on again, and, remembering to aim slightly ahead, pressed the red button.

The green beam stretched into space. It knocked the bug fighter off course, and another pilot shot it down. Beginners luck!

{Nice shooting,} said Elfangor.

{Thanks.}

Samilin came over the mirrorwave communications system. {Elfangor, these Yeerks are whipping mad about us being here.}

{I know.} Elfangor said calmly, but I could tell he was full of energy. {Can you spot their base of operations in this system?}

{Not without the spy files on hand. They've got it pretty well hidden.}

{Keep on them.}

{I'll do what I can. Samilin, out!}

Suddenly...

BREET! BREET!

Red lights flashed on my console. We'd been targeted!

THUNK!

{AAH!}

The fighter jerked to the side. Elfangor grabbed the steering mechanism and regained control. I heard him curse once as he looped past a disabled Andalite fighter.

{Our left engine is damaged. I'm going to compensate.}

More lasers cut into the dark. The shot just missed our remaining engine. That slug was chasing us!

I locked onto another bug fighter. Right as I fired, an Andalite fighter crossed the path, his engine lights flashing brightly in the darkness of space. The pilot barely avoided the shredder beam, but the bug fighter's reflexes weren't quick enough. His ship exploded in a red puff.

{Whew,} I sighed.

{Hey! Watch your aim!} The other pilot cried angrily over the com.

{Sorry!} I called back.

Elfangor chuckled. {She's a beginner. Give her room.}

{She? You're letting that girl fly with you?}

Elfangor pressed a button and cut off the signal. {Don't mind Gafinilan's barking. Combat without Mertil makes him cranky. They're _shorms_. Mertil has an assignment somewhere else right now.}

{Oh?} I glanced over. {Where is-}

Gafinilan interrupted us, {It looks like the Yeerks are trying to hide an outpost on one of the planets' moons. I can't tell which one from here.}

{I can't lock on either.} Elfangor replied. {They're hiding this one pretty deep.}

{I won't be surprised if it's related Naskor's assassination.}

{Argh! I could fly right to those slugs if I had his files!} Samilin growled.

Galuit chimed in, {Rumor has it that one of the family survived.}

{I'd hate to be that person,} said another pilot.

I wanted to scream at them that I was that survivor, but I stayed silent. The less people who knew, the better. I didn't want anybody's pity.

Elfangor glanced at me. {I can tell them to shut up.}

{No, please. They'll just feel sorry for me. I hate that as much as you do.}

He smiled a little. {You're the boss.}

We continued on in the battle, and I shot down four bug fighters before the rest fled behind the largest gas giant in the system. Its magnetic field shielded them from a sensor sweep.

{Elfangor, we should chase them!}

Elfangor shook his head. {Not yet.}

{But we can-}

{Orders are orders. Warriors listen to their superiors except under the most extreme circumstances. We were here to keep those bug fighters busy.}

I boiled inside, more because Elfangor was right than anything else.

{What for?} I asked.

{A spy team is trying to locate exactly where Visser Ten is hiding. He's pretty good with stealth.}

Visser Ten. I shuddered from my eyestalks to my hooves at the mention of his name.

Elfangor touched his tailblade to mine. {I know what you're thinking. Don't. Stop right now, Semeir. It's not time yet. I'll do everything I can to get you a shot at him, but _this_ isn't the time. You're not ready.}

{He killed them.} I hissed. {He executed them. I want to make him pay for it!}

{Hey!} Elfangor used his tail to push mine down. {This is war! People die. People suffer. It's not fair. It's sickening. But it is what a warrior faces!}

I winced. I'd behaved like a selfish child. Worse-my childish rage upset Elfangor.

{I'm sorry,} I said softly. {I-I watched Visser Ten kill them all. There wasn't any dignity in it.}

{There rarely is. But your family is dead. You have to put it aside. No, no, I don't mean forget them or stop grieving. You have to focus ahead. A strong person isn't someone who never falters. A strong person is someone who can accept pain time and again and still go on. Be _strong_ , Semeir. Be strong for _them_.}

My anguish dissolved at Elfangor's wise words. I always saw him as somebody with a lot of strength, yet didn't know why. When he explained it to me there in that fighter-I understood where he found his power.

{Galuit to Elfangor.}

Elfangor raised his head. {Go ahead.}

{I tagged the lead fighter with buzz paint.}

{Yes! Good work.}

I quirked an eyestalk. {Buzz paint?}

{Buzz paint is new technology. It isn't really paint. The pilot of a ship won't know it's on his vessel. It's a gel filled with particles that react to a planet's magnetic field, and we can pick that up on sensors. It doesn't give an exact location, but we can locate the planet or moon they're using as a hideout.}

{All Andalite fighters, return to the _DoomBlade!_ } Rubliss ordered.

Elfangor turned our fighter around. I felt the damaged engine vibrating when we flew back into the bay.

The pilots emerged into the ship as if nothing special took place. I buried my earlier anguish behind the excitement of what I'd done. I took part in real combat. I flew in a fighter with Elfangor.

And I felt at home doing it.

I saw Gafinilan leave the bay in a hurry. As he passed the doorway, he swung his massive tailblade upwards and left a deep scratch on the top of the doorframe. Right next to several other gashes just like it. His eyes tilted in a smirk.

Then he noticed me watching.

{What are you staring at?} Gafinilan growled.

I darted behind Elfangor, who arched a brow.

Gafinilan snickered and walked out. I emerged from my hiding place and made a face at his retreating back.

Samilin and Galuit joined us outside Elfangor's fighter. Thank the stars, they didn't seem to notice me darting about like a fool.

I saw Galuit extend his hand to Elfangor. Elfangor reached out, they grasped each others' forearm and gave a firm shake. The warrior's handshake-Elfangor mentioned it to me once.

{Thanks Samilin. Thanks Galuit.} Elfangor smiled at his friends. {You should have seen Semeir. Those four who went down near the end were her doing.}

{Really, now?} Galuit folded his arms. He looked over at the darker-colored Andalite beside him. {Samilin, look, the girl thinks she's a fighter pilot. Isn't that cute?}

{Oh, please.} Samilin snorted. {This is no place for females.}

{Hey!} I glared up at the taller warrior, trying not to let his size and rank intimidate me.

Galuit interrupted us by telling Samilin to shut up. Then he turned around and held his hand out to me. I slowly reached out and grasped Galuit's forearm and he took mine. My hand barely fit around his wrist, and his fingers almost encircled mine entirely.

{That was great shooting you did out there, for a beginner,} Galuit complimented me.

{Indeed. Beginner's luck.} Samilin added in flatly. He made no move to offer me the handshake. He loathed the idea of untrained children on the ship, and he kept no secrets about it.

Could you blame him?

{Thank you.} I said quietly to Galuit, standing at attention the best I could. I'm afraid my female body didn't look quite as imposing as a male's, but I hope my tailblade made up for my lack of musculature.

Samilin turned away without acknowledging me. Galuit gave me a salute before cantering to catch up with Samilin.

I relaxed my stance. My head ached from the tension. That was scary!

I following Elfangor to the dome for much needed nourishment. A few others had the same idea.

{How do you feel Semeir?} Elfangor asked.

{Like...like I belonged there.}

I felt silly the second I said it. How could I be so immature?

He looked over, {You acted pretty calm under the pressure.}

{Really?} I blinked at him. I sure didn't feel calm during the whole thing. Half the time, I think I cringed!

{Yes.} Elfangor replied. Then he flashed his rare, brilliant eye-smile. {I'm going to be there when you're named a warrior. I promise you, I will see it happen in my lifetime.}

{It'll be an honor,} I whispered. I looked away to hide the heat in my face. Once again, Elfangor made me blush.

Everybody retired to their quarters. Even Captain Rubliss. Sleep was a rare commodity.

Except-I couldn't sleep. The cramped room, the noises and the leftover excitement from earlier left me far too alert to rest. Everyone else was locked tight in their quarters, but I couldn't close my eyes.

I didn't want to wake anybody up with all my shuffling and moving around.

So I slipped out of my tiny allotted space and crept to the bridge.

Slowly, I peeked inside. The bridge was empty. The ship flew on auto pilot. Sensors were trained in all directions like stalk eyes, ready to sound the alarm if anything crossed their unblinking awareness.

The empty, silent bridge didn't look all that intimidating. Maybe I could explore a little.

I looked around once more, slipped in and examined every control panel. Some stations had colorful touch-screen displays. Others were featureless. More were made of holographic displays telling the status of the ship, the oxygen levels, the engine power and the amount of fuel available.

My stalk eyes focused on the center of the circular room. Captain Rubliss' station beckoned to me, and I stepped into it like I belonged.

 __

Battle!

I pretended that I was the captain commanding the _DoomBlade_. Yeerks were coming! I gave out orders with the few hand signals I knew. My ship shot down imaginary Blade ships, and dodged impossible shots.

{Fire all weapons!} I hissed in quiet thoughtspeak. {Take evasive actions!}

My imaginary crew did what I said, and I leaned over one of the displays. It only showed fuel graphs, but to me it was a weapons meter. The temperature level changed when cool air came in the dome, a preventative measure against condensation.

In my imagination, the ship took a hard hit. {Weapons and shield status?}

Soft hoofbeats sounded in the hall. A shadow fell over me from the doorway.

{Captain Semeir...the weapons are at one hundred percent and the shields are only ten percent damaged. We still have enough power to send them running.}

Elfangor!

I froze, my face burning. Caught playing on the bridge, how stupid of me!

I stammered, {I-I'm sorry! I was just pretending. I didn't touch anything.}

{Easy there. You aren't in trouble.} Elfangor said. He was still amused. {I wouldn't let Samilin see you in here, though. I'll never hear the end of it from him _or_ Rubliss.}

{You won't tell him?} I asked, trying and failing to staunch my embarrassment.

{I won't if you won't. Now come on. Let's go get some sleep.} His eyes twinkled. {Captain.}

{If I'm Captain, what does that make you?}

{Somebody who takes orders.} Elfangor answered. He chuckled and moved so I could pass.

We took care not to let our hooves clomp too hard on the metal floor. Elfangor slipped into his quarters and I wiggled into mine.

This time I fell asleep quickly, and I dreamed vividly about becoming the Andalite who had to save the day. I told Elfangor about it later. I couldn't help it. Some said dreams were a sign of the future. I know Elfangor didn't believe in a whole lot of spirituality-but he never minded my mentioning it.

He said, {I'll be in the crowd, cheering, when you make it happen.}

He never said _if_. He always said _when_.

Exactly three days later, my journey aboard the _DoomBlade_ came to an end. All that excitement, and I had to meld back into a normal life? It seemed like I _just_ became accustomed to life aboard a Dome ship when the homeworld came into view. I tried not to look too disappointed.

Elfangor just smiled and told me there would be other missions. This was a short flight. There were Dome ships still out there that left a year ago. Many warriors' wives gave birth and raised children alone.

I had no one to leave behind. Just Elfangor, and he and I would travel together if my dreams worked out.

{This is why warriors have secondary occupations.} Elfangor explained. {Between deployments, I monitor the _arisths_ training in the fields. Galuit designs fuel systems. Gafinilan farms _illsipar_ roots. Samilin is an artist.}

{I just want to be a warrior,} I grumbled.

Elfangor chuckled and trotted ahead. {You have plenty of time to think about a secondary occupation. Now...race back to the scoop?}

{Sure!}

We escaped the space port and exploded into a gallop. Elfangor ran far faster than I did-he won easily. I forgot all about being upset over returning home.

Besides, my adventure aboard the Dome ship was an exciting experience.

What happened the next day was one of the scariest.


	7. Map of a Dream Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 6

Chapter 6

.o

The uneventful morning found me grazing a new meadow. It had long blue and green grass as high as my knees. Clumps of _therant_ trees provided shade. A thin film of clouds obscured most of the red and gold sky.

I discovered this little beauty three miles from Elfangor's scoop. He told me not to wander too far, but there was no one to be seen in any direction. And three miles wasn't far, was it? Ten miles, yes. Three? I could run three miles easily!

I thought I was perfectly safe.

If only I'd known.

Hooves pummeled the grass. Elfangor galloped up to me like an _aristh_ in trouble by his commanding officer. His eyes were _wild_ , and sweat glistened on his upper body. He'd been running for a long time, looking for me.

{Semeir! What are you doing out here?} Elfangor caught up to me. {Cloaked Yeerk vessels followed our fleet back yesterday. Our men are engaging them overhead. It's dangerous! We need to get out of here!}

{What?} I turned my stalk eyes upward and stared stupidly at the sky. I wanted to be up there, shooting those Yeerks down! {I don't see anything!}

Several bug fighters swooped out of the clouds. Their cloaking devices failed in the atmosphere.

I froze.

The bug fighters came closer.

I saw them.

They saw me.

And they started shooting!

Dracon beams tore apart the grass behind me. The explosions sent me sprawling. Elfangor practically dove forward and yanked me to my four hooves. He pointed at a distant clump of _therant_ trees thick enough to hide us.

{Take cover! Hurry!} He ordered.

I turned to protest, but he shoved me ahead and I stumbled a little before my legs remembered how to run. Elfangor's hooves thudded almost on my tail. I slowed to let him catch up.

{Don't slow down! GO, GO, _GO!_ } He yelled, bursting through a cloud of smoke. In a moment he ran alongside and overtook me. I tried not to choke on the dust kicked up by our hooves.

My stalk eyes watched the sky while my main eyes focused on the trees straight ahead. I saw Andalite fighters intercept the bug fighters. Green lasers versus red. The battle raged over our heads!

{Bug fighters don't handle atmospheric friction very well.} Elfangor told me. {If the pilots are idiots, they'll probably end up-}

CLINK! THUMP! A chunk of debris fell in Elfangor's path. He stumbled over it without breaking his stride.

{-crashing!}

I heard an odd whistling sound. My stalk eyes searched above, but smoke and haze obscured most of the sky.

{Elfangor! What is that noise?}

Elfangor's main eyes widened. {Semeir! Don't worry about it! _Run! Faster!_ }

We were almost to the trees when the noise revealed itself. A bug fighter crashed!

KA- **BOOM!**

My ears throbbed. I felt a rush of heat. The shockwave hurled Elfangor into the trees. I watched his body cartwheel through the air like a corpse. Only saw it for a second before the same shockwave caught me, too.

THUD!

I slammed side-first into the grass, and to this day I think the soft grass is the only reason I survived the impact. The world turned liquid around me. Sounds distorted, things left trails when they moved and lights hurt my eyes. My vision swam as I tried to stand. I fell back to the ground in a heap, completely dazed, and the world finally went black.

When I lifted my head again, my sight came clearer. I tested my limbs. Nothing broken, good. I looked up with one stalk eye. The battle was still raging.

I saw Elfangor lying unconscious across a smoldering, half-disintegrated tree knocked down by a stray Dracon beam. His lower half had somehow sprawled over the trunk, but his torso hung lifelessly off the side. I could see his face pressed to the soil. A dangerous position for an Andalite-if his nostrils were blocked by the ground, he'd suffocate!

Shrapnel and lasers surrounded me. Loud explosions boomed. Dust rose into the air as the fighters zoomed past the trees in streaks.

My eyes fell upon something else in the chaos, and time stood still. I nearly stopped breathing.

A Hork-Bajir Controller climbed out of the downed fighter. How he survived the explosion was behind me. He was limping towards Elfangor.

{Elfangor! Look out!} I cried, but got no response. He was still insensate.

I'd never seen a Hork-Bajir this close in daylight before, so I never realized how tall they were. It had a beak like a strange wingless bird. Instead of wings, it had arms with sharp blades on it's elbows and wrists, and more blades adorned its reptilian legs. Its clawed feet dug into the grass.

The Hork-Bajir-a male, I assumed-narrowed his red eyes to slits. He looked straight at Elfangor. He slowly took aim with his handheld Dracon pistol.

Something came over me. My vision turned crimson. I didn't care about what this alien could do to me. Nothing else mattered. I couldn't let him hurt Elfangor!

{Get away from him!} I scrambled up and charged at a being almost twice my height.

The Hork-Bajir was too surprised to react, and I slammed into him full force. We both fell. He threw me off, but I grabbed his Dracon pistol and tried to shoot.

My shot veered too far left, and the recoil almost knocked me over!

Cursing I threw the weapon aside. The Hork-Bajir lunged at me.

My tail went up. I didn't even think.

FWAPP!

The Hork-Bajir fell back, holding his face. I'd taken out his eye. He was so surprised that he stumbled right onto live wires from his downed bug fighter. His body convulsed in a shower of sparks.

He died screaming.

I forgot the Controller. I had bigger concerns.

{Elfangor!}

I knelt and lifted my Prince's face out of the dirt. He was pale, but his color returned after he gasped for air.

{Elfangor? Elfangor! Wake up! Please, wake up!}

His eyes rolled, but he wasn't responding to my voice.

I pulled him as far as I could off the log. Then I used my hind legs to kick it aside. Elfangor's lower half hit the ground with a thud. I stood there, panting. The effort exhausted me. He was too large for me to carry, and my weak Andalite arms couldn't drag him. I wasn't morph capable, so I had no means to morph into something stronger.

I didn't like how he looked so vulnerable.

Elfangor was invincible in my eyes. Seeing him crumpled and covered in dirt seemed illogical.

And he'd been injured because of me. Because I had to run off alone.

TSEEWW! BOOM! TSEEWW! BOOM!

The battle still raged above us. Debris rained down, hitting the trees we used as cover and bouncing off the ground. Plumes of smoke and dust rose from distant explosions.

My hands trembled and my hearts squeezed inward. Every instinct in my body screamed at me to run, but I could not-I _would not_ -leave Elfangor.

Desperate, I laid my lower body alongside his, wiping the dirt off his face while shielding his head and torso with my own. I didn't see any blood around his nostrils or ears. That ruled out brain damage. At least, I hoped so; he might have gone too long without oxygen. I was so afraid that he'd inhaled dirt, but his chest continued to smoothly rise and fall without fail. Somehow, I could hear his slow, deep breaths through the noise of the battle.

Another craft exploded somewhere above me. I didn't know if it was friend or foe.

I closed my main eyes, put my head down next to Elfangor's and concentrated on his respirations instead of the explosions. I was so close to him. Even in those frightening moments I couldn't avoid being so aware of his presence. I felt like the Little Mermaid after saving her Prince from a sinking ship.

I continued to hold him even after the last of the battle quieted down.

Elfangor stirred. Sluggishly. His main eyes fluttered and rolled around.

{Elfangor?} I took his face in my hands. {Elfangor! Please, wake up!}

{Mmm...} Elfangor moaned and his eyes squeezed shut tighter.

{Elfangor!}

His main eyes suddenly opened. The pupils took a moment to equalize. He tried to raise his head.

I leaned over, preventing him from getting up. {No, don't move.}

Elfangor lifted his stalk eyes and looked around, and his main eyes fixed onto mine.

{I told you to run!} He snapped with a hint of anger, though I could tell he was still groggy. {You could have been hurt, or-}

{I wasn't going to just leave you here! A Hork-Bajir almost incinerated you!} I protested.

Elfangor didn't argue. He pushed himself into a kneeling position, and I let him this time. No point in keeping a war-prince down when he didn't want to stay there.

Help would arrive soon, hopefully.

We waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And _waited_...

Nothing.

Nothing but light wind and the smoke in the air from fires yet to be put out.

{We have to get out of here,} Elfangor commented with a sigh. He was more alert now than before. His tense expression betrayed his pain. {Somebody might spot us, and I don't want it to be the Yeerks.}

{Why in _yaolin_ did they come down and shoot at us?}

Elfangor glared at me for cursing, but it melted immediately. {Visser Ten doesn't like to lose a fight. Naskor's files say he gets single minded when someone crosses him. He may think wiping out everyone related to Naskor will clear the way for his plans.}

{What about the Yeerk that infested Alloran?}

{He is obsessed with Andalites. I hope you never meet him, Semeir.}

I didn't ask him any more questions. Instead, I struggled to help him stand.

Elfangor leaned on me and we staggered out from under the trees. Twisted metal littered the ground. The air was thick with smoke and dust, but Elfangor and I somehow trudged onward.

We found water and we stopped to drink. Elfangor seemed to gain some strength.

{Semeir,} he began.

{Hm?}

{I saw you fight off that Hork-Bajir.} He looked at me, {You showed no fear.}

{No fear.} I repeated, saying for the first time what would forever be my motto. {But Elfangor,} I spoke without thinking, {I _was_ scared. Scared of losing you.}

{I understand.} His thoughtspeak became almost too soft to sense. He faced me fully. {I don't know what I would do if anything ever happened to you.}

I looked up at him. Reflected sunlight sparkled in his green eyes. My hearts quivered. For a moment nothing else mattered.

{Me, either.} I said back to him. {Please...never die.}

It sounded utterly childish, and I regretted it the second the words left my head.

To my surprise, he reached over and cupped my cheek. {I won't.}

I felt like fainting. My hearts pounded. Could he hear them? Could he feel me trembling?

So many questions ran through my mind as I touched his hand. We almost died in that field. What if we weren't as lucky next time? What if I woke up one morning and he didn't? What if I didn't wake up tomorrow?

I had to tell him the truth. I was young, but I knew what my hearts were telling me.

{Elfangor,} I took a deep breath, {I-}

{Elfangor!}

A young Andalite burst through the trees. He was roughly my size and wild-eyed.

Elfangor's hand moved off my face. His gaze shifted from me to the other Andalite. The youth looked a lot like Elfangor-though shorter and lighter in color with thicker eyestalks. They had the same eyes and hands.

{Aximili!} Elfangor brightened. {I'm fine. We got caught in crossfire. But thanks to Semeir, I'm all right.}

Then he turned and introduced the other Andalite to me.

{Semeir, this is my younger brother. Aximili, this is my friend, Semeir.}

{Hello.} Aximili said. His stalk eyes looked me over. {Your name is familiar...was that your scoop that burned d-}

{Aximili!} Elfangor cut him off.

{Yes, I am.} I answered him. Colder than I intended, unfortunately.

Aximili's main eyes widened. His face flushed darker beneath his fur. He turned his head away. {I'm sorry.}

I gave him an apologetic look.

I could tell he was still in the 'females are gross' phase by the way he avoided meeting my main eyes. I glanced at his tail, which flicked nervously. His tailblade was already as big as Elfangor's.

{Aximili, what are you doing all the way out here?} Elfangor asked.

{I was playing driftball with Aragorf when I saw the battle. I called my teacher, who sent for help. He said the Yeerks were after a specific target.}

Elfangor's stalk eyes twisted towards me for a moment. He refocused on Aximili. {Was anybody else hurt?}

{No. You should have seen those Andalite fighters! They swooped down like meteors and burned those Yeerks!}

That made Elfangor smile. He gave his younger brother a playful shove. {Did Mother sign you up for the Academy yet?}

{Yes. I began my tailfighting training two months ago.} I saw Aximili's eyestalks twitch. {I'll reach _aristh_ rank in a year. People are already talking about me because I'm your brother. They might think greatness is genetic.}

Elfangor tilted his head. He looked a little uncomfortable. {Just do yourself one favor-don't try to extend yourself past your rank. It's a good way to make every commanding officer dislike you.}

Aximili laughed and swatted Elfangor's tailblade with his own. He was young with no real worries other than his schoolyard reputation, and I envied him.

They continued to talk, and I felt forgotten. I didn't blame either of them-Elfangor and his little brother hadn't spoken in a long time. What place did I have, coming between them?

Watching them reminded me of my own brother and step-sister. Mother used to yell at them when they roughhoused with me. She always feared I'd hurt myself on my awkward tailblade, and didn't let me gallop until I proved I could properly hold my tail up.

I loved to watch my siblings play while I was still too small to go far from the scoop. Now, I wish I hadn't taken the sight of them fooling about for granted. I'd give anything to see Coofani chase Tetrof to get her scoop design project back.

Not far ahead, a medical transport landed in the grass. Aximili ran ahead to meet it.

Elfangor and I reached the ship. Medical personnel swarmed us. Elfangor was taken one direction, I went another and Aximili stood off to the side.

Elfangor received a thorough examination by the chief onboard physician. His injuries were only bruises and a concussion. The physician sent him back to his scoop with orders to rest for at least one week. I received the same diagnosis after a careful once-over.

I turned to thank Aximili for his help, but he still wouldn't look me in the eyes.

{Elfangor is fine now. I should go. My instructor doesn't know I'm not amongst my peers.}

{Thank you for your help, Aximil.}

{Um,} Aximili backed towards the exit. {You're welcome. I'm going to go now.}

He fled like my eyes were Dracon beams. I shook my head, but stopped when that made it ache all over again.

The medical transport took Elfangor and I back to Elfangor's scoop. Elfangor refused to let anybody help him walk. He staggered under the awning where he liked to sleep and slowly sank into a kneeling position.

I thanked the medics and joined him. {How is your head?}

{It aches.} He replied. His face no longer betrayed his discomfort. {How about you?}

{I feel cold.}

{It's a side effect of the anti-inflammatory you were given. Sometimes it-oh, you're shivering!}

Before I could downplay my condition, Elfangor scooted in front of me. He put his arm around my shoulders and pulled my upper body closer to his own. He was so _warm_ , like a living heating coil. I sank against him and laid my head against his collarbone.

{Better?}

I nodded and rested my hands on his chest. Closed my eyes. Breathed in his scent. He smelled like fresh grass on a sun-baked meadow.

{I felt like the Little Mermaid today.} I said.

He chuckled. {Yes, but with one small difference.}

I looked up.

Elfangor looked down from a few inches away, smiling. His eyes twinkled like river crystals when he went on, {You're still transforming.}

That made me giggle.

He said, {But for future reference, Semeir...please don't wander off.}

{I know why it's dangerous _now_.} I replied. I felt like an idiot, putting us both in danger like that. {I'm sorry. I have made right everything that can be made right, I have learned everything that can be learned, I have sworn not to repeat my error...and now I claim forgiveness.}

{My forgiveness is granted.} Elfangor said, completing the forgiveness ritual.

We fell asleep together, wrapped in each others' warmth.

I learned a lot that day, and would continue to learn as time went on.

However, there was one process I could only learn on my own:

Growing up.


	8. Map of a Dream Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 7

Chapter 7

.o

Elfangor continued to teach me over the next three years.

Other warriors balked at him, but he never let it deter his lessons. The Academy wouldn't accept me even with his recommendation, so he resorted to presenting materials to me himself. He was no instructor, and sometimes we stumbled, but somehow the information worked its way into my brain.

He introduced me to a handheld shredder. An unassuming gray weapon capable of disintegrating walls on the wrong setting. I watched him pick it up with his left hand, twirl it on his index finger, toss it in the air and catch it in his right hand.

{When I was on Earth, they had entertainment called 'westerns.' Witty human banter usually signaled the appearance of projectile firearms.} He said. {I liked them. They involved old-fashioned stand-offs, and whoever drew their weapon and shot the fastest won.}

{A bit like our tails, isn't it? Whoever swings the fastest wins.}

{Yes.}

With that, Elfangor spun the shredder again, aimed and pulled the trigger.

TSEEEW!

A leaf on a nearby _therant_ tree disintegrated.

Elfangor tilted the shredder upwards and flipped it around. He handed it to me handle first.

{One of the most important points to shooting is your grip. Anybody can fire a shredder, but the right grip will ensure you hit your target. You can shoot with one hand, but it's always better to start with two.}

Elfangor explained the frontstrap, the backstrap, the butt and the barrel to me. I focused him, taking in his instructions. I was excited. Warriors used shredders, and I was going to learn how to use one!

{Grip high on the handle. The backstrap should rest on the webbing between your thumb and forefinger. Line up the barrel with the bones of your arm, and it'll point straight off the center of your wrist. It almost becomes an extension of your body.} He shifted my fingers higher. {Index finger on the trigger. Don't squeeze it yet. Use the other six fingers to pull inward towards your wrist. Bring your arm forward. Slowly.}

It felt awkward at first. The shredder was heavy and seemed like it would slip right out of my hand. How would I follow a target when the weapon caused swift fatigue?

{Now, bring your left hand up-that's your support hand-and wrap it around your right hand. Overlap your thumbs. Okay. Don't pull to the left.}

Then Elfangor showed me how to stabilize my aim. He had to stand alongside me. He had to reach around me to square my shoulders. He had to manipulate my arms into the right position.

His touch kept making me tingle. It did for the past year, but never was I more aware of it than that moment. I was blushing the whole time he assisted me.

{Keep all four eyes open for depth. Follow the tip of the barrel to your target with your eyes. Breathe in, let it out and squeeze the trigger. As you do it, push forward with your right arm and pull backwards with your left. Then release the trigger. You only need a short burst on a setting that high. Don't tense your arms too much. Some shredders have a recoil. Let your forearms absorb the shock.}

Elfangor leaned closer to guide my hands higher. My target? A single _therant_ leaf.

{Remember, don't lock your elbows. Relax. That's it. Now, fire.}

I exhaled and pressed the trigger.

TSEEEW!

I startled when it discharged. I pushed and pulled with both arms. Too much! My shot veered left and destroyed half of a branch. That poor tree!

After that, Elfangor decided we should practice shooting with the shredder set to its lowest power output.

And I spent weeks practicing until I could aim and shoot as easily as I used my tail. I also worked on that toss and catch trick I saw Elfangor do. I could manage it. Sort of.

The one handed grip wasn't much different than using two hands. I just had to push into the shredder as I squeezed the trigger. Then I was taught how to shoot while running, while on the ground and while in close quarters. I even mastered quick-drawing from a holster. In a short time I was spinning the shredder on my finger just like Elfangor.

That was fun.

My education didn't stop at shooting.

Elfangor was _great_ at showing me how to operate Andalite fighters. I soaked his lessons up like a sponge. I could read sensor arrays, acquire targets and plot courses. I learned how to fly in formation. I learned evasive maneuvers. I learned the attack strategies that made Elfangor a menace to the Yeerks.

Elfangor personally believed experience was the best teacher, so he took me with him when duty called. Not every captain let me join him in flight, but whenever I did, I focused intently on everything.

I saw the parts of space I'd only dreamed about. Some outings were spent in domes and uneventful. Others were exciting, and still more proved terrifying. None were ever deadly-I never saw a single casualty beyond minor injuries.

I became known as "Elfangor's Shadow", and I didn't mind the nickname.

During all of these events, Elfangor helped me move into my own scoop less than a short trot from his. He thought I was ready to start living like an adult, but suggested I stay nearby in case trouble came my direction like it had my family. Moving almost proved pointless-Elfangor and I still spent nearly every day together.

I also hit my growth spurt. Every female Andalite has one towards the middle of adolescence. I feel like I woke up one morning and realized I was only a head shorter than Elfangor. My limbs were less clumsy looking. My tail was stronger and the blade sharper. Constant training built up my muscles. They didn't show unless I flexed my arms or ran, but I could feel them under my fur.

Other females frowned at my body. I ignored them. I was proud of my changing physique. I didn't come this far just to quit because I wasn't fashionable.

Yet...there was something else attached to my physical maturation. Strange daydreams and thoughts came to me out of nowhere. I knew where babies came from, but I had no idea there was more to it than that.

And on one hot afternoon, my ignorance hit me hard.

I finished knocking over spent shredder power cells with my tailblade-my own means of training. I lined them up on a branch and tried to knock them off one at a time without missing or nicking the branch.

I timed myself when I did it. So far, my best was ten cells in a row in ten seconds. Elfangor could do the same in five, and I haven't beaten his record yet. I'd improved immensely at aiming and controlling my tail. Occasionally, I tested myself against males larger than me. Many were happy to indulge in a match. I didn't always win. Honestly, I lost more than I won, but I also sparred quite a few to a draw.

The sun beat down hard. Sweat slicked my fur to my face and shoulders. I trotted to a shaded lake to refresh myself. Just before I reached it, I heard a splash upstream.

Startled, I crept up to the large cluster of _derrishoul_ trees separating the lake from the shore. I peered between them.

I'll never forget what I saw.

Elfangor was bathing under the waterfall feeding the lake. His wet fur became iridescent under the sunlight. The muscles on his arms and chest rippled slightly as he splashed himself and shook the excess off his face. His lower half flexed when he adjusted his footing on the rocks. The waterfall slicked his fur down. I could see-I mean _really see_ every detail of his muscles.

I've felt them on his arms and chest when he embraced me. I was aware of their effects on his croup and haunches when used his tail or galloped. But something about actually _seeing_ them was entirely different.

My hearts hammered in my ears. The air felt too heavy. My own breathing deepened.

SPLOOSH

He jumped into the lake!

Andalites aren't the best swimmers, but we don't mind water. Or, at least, Elfangor didn't appear to. The lake wasn't too deep. He could walk on the bottom and keep his head above the surface.

I found it impossible to take my eyes off him. He couldn't see me because of the trees. Would he be mad if he knew I was there?

Elfangor moved to shallower water. His body was slowly revealed to my sight as he clambered back onto shore and shook off. He used his tailblade to trim the shaggy fur around the tops of his hooves and under his belly. When he moved his hind leg, I swear I saw-

I quickly averted my gaze and backed away from the trees. What was happening to me?

I sighed and tried to calm myself down. A quarter hour passed. He'd be dry by then. I hopped around the trees as if I'd just arrived.

Elfangor had finished grooming himself. He looked up and smiled when he saw me there. {Ah Semeir! Just the person I wanted to see.}

{Greetings Elfangor.} I stopped at his cheerful tone. {Why?}

He pointed to the waterfall, which cascaded over a tall clump of rocks, wound around once, poured through a beautiful green crystal formation and splashed down into the clear lake he'd used to bathe.

{Look there. What do you see?}

{A waterfall,} I said simply, stating the obvious.

Elfangor chuckled at my bluntness. {Good. Come with me. I have something to show you.}

He took my hand and led me behind the waterfall.

There was a cave back there, hidden by the sheet of falling water. A small overhang caused the waterfall to angle slightly away from the opening in the rock wall.

We slipped into the narrow opening without getting wet. I looked around while my eyes adjusted.

The interior was as tall as the rock formation outside. I didn't feel too enclosed. A glowing blue pond marked the cave's center. Its dim light filled the space, giving everything a sapphire gleam. Rare clear crystals grew out of the water. Sunlight filtered through a crack in the roof of the cave and shone down on the crystals. They absorbed the light and spread it out beneath the water like magical ambiance.

Time stood still. The world stopped at the waterfall.

{This is my secret place,} Elfangor told me. {I come here when I want to get away from the world. I've been meaning to show it to you for awhile. After all, we're _shorms_. And what good is a secret if you can't share it?}

I smiled too. {How long have you known about this cave?}

{Since I was little.}

Then Elfangor approached largest formation. It stretched in all directions like a tree made of glass.

FWAPP-AP!

The sound echoed slightly in the cave as he cut off a small piece of crystal. A lopsided pyramid no larger than my fist. He held it in the light and it acted like a prism. Fantastic colors danced across the cave walls.

Elfangor reached out to me. He placed the crystal on my palms, closed my fingers around it and folded his hands around mine. {Some say crystals absorb the memories of any given moment, and those moments stay frozen there forever. I collected crystals smaller than this when I was a kid for just that reason.}

He collected crystals? How precious!

{Thank you. I...I love it.} I wanted to say 'I love it, and I love you', but fear held those last words back.

We looked at each other instead, as if hypnotized.

I got lost. Forgot where I was. All I could see where his eyes and face. All I could feel was his hands around mine and the crystal against my palm. All I knew at the moment was that I loved him. This little gift meant more to me than any possession I ever owned, and I wished I could tell him that.

I moved to clutch the crystal to my chest, and that caused me to step forward, closer to him.

Elfangor stood right there. I could smell him. I could hear him breathing. I could sense him deep in thought, but not the thoughts themselves. What if he heard mine? What if he knew I liked feeling his body heat so near? That I liked the salty-sweet scent of his freshly-groomed fur? That I found him physically attractive?

I let my stalk eyes wander to his chest. The glowing pool lit, in perfect detail, the expanse of muscles I'd seen under the waterfall. His shoulders and arms were a blend of delicacy and muscle. And his hands-those broad palms and long, tapering fingers-by the stars, he had such beautiful hands.

Don't get me wrong, I've always considered Elfangor a fine example of a male. He had the physique of an agile warrior who used surprise and speed more than brute strength. I always thought he had a handsome face.

But this was the first time I'd ever been so _aware_ of more than his facial features.

My knees were shaking and I felt tingling in places I never tingled before. I imagined Elfangor and I caressing and hugging. Him slowly rearing up behind me, and-

 __

What the...? I forced my mind off that line of thought. What was making me think this way? Why did I have such daydreams? Was it right? Was it shameful?

Even worse, I couldn't ask Elfangor about these matters. This was a conversation reserved for a mother and daughter. And I didn't have my mother anymore.

When I glanced up, I found him looking curiously at me. He breathed slower, deeper. His pupils were dilated, making his eyes appear darker than usual. But not in a frightening way.

We stared at each other for-I can't even say. And I got scared. Not of him. Never of him.

 __

I'm growing up. These feelings, these are adult emotions. I thought.

I remembered something Mother told me:

 __

{Someday, you'll stand in the presence of a male and feel sensations you never felt before. You'll think about things you never thought about before. When that day comes, you'll realize you aren't a child anymore.}

How could she tell me that when I had these thoughts, yet still felt like a child at the same time?

I had to do something before I embarrassed myself or Elfangor.

{This crystal...} I blurted. {It reminds me a little of a glass hoof when you turn it on its side. See? All we need is a spherical object to dance on, and it would be just like _Cinderella_.}

Elfangor blinked and the darkness left his eyes. They moved to the object in my hands. He looked amused. {Isn't _Cinderella_ is your favorite story from Earth?}

I bobbed my stalk eyes, an Andalite nod. {Yes. Especially the romantic part when Cinderella and the Prince dance, but the ball part confuses me. How do they dance on a spherical object without falling?}

Elfangor closed his eyes and chuckled. {A ball is a social human event. Or it can be part of a sport, like driftball. It is a word based on context.}

{That is...confusing. Then how do they dance?}

I felt rather than saw him reach out.

{Like this.}

He slipped his left hand down to grasp my right hand and moved it up to about level with my chest. Setting my new crystal aside for me, he guided my other hand onto his shoulder and placed his right hand just below my left arm.

{This isn't as easy with four legs, but...step back as I come forward. Now to the side...that's it.}

He tapped a rhythm with his back hoof: CLOP, clop-clop. CLOP, clop-clop.

We swayed to that rhythm for ages. The motion was mesmerizing-nothing like we have here on the homeworld. Elfangor led me through steps that gradually moved us in a circular motion. There wasn't a lot of space; enough to turn about one body length, yet it didn't matter.

I was _dancing_ with my Prince like Cinderella, and I couldn't be happier.

{This is fun!} I giggled. {Is assessing one's dance skills the means by which humans choose a mate?}

It wasn't until I spoke that I realized how forward that sounded.

{A mate?} I swear I saw Elfangor blush darker blue under his fur. He ducked his head almost shyly. {Uh...in some circumstances. Careful, don't slip!}

My back hooves almost fell into the glowing pool. Elfangor pulled me against him. Our front legs tangled. I wrapped my arms around his neck and we both stumbled to avoid catastrophe. Then we looked at each other and laughed until our heads hurt.

Our laughter quieted. I found myself lost in his eyes again. Was I imagining things, or did I feel his upper heart throbbing as fast as mine?

I almost raised my hand and stroked his face. I almost spilled everything I felt for him.

But before I moved my hand, he took hold of it.

{Semeir, listen...} His expression grew serious.. {The war against the Yeerks is escalating more than the civilian population knows. I may get deployed soon. Maybe with only a few hours' warning.}

I blinked. {I'll get to come with you, right?}

{It depends on the captain I serve.} Elfangor rubbed my palm with his thumb, and I felt it all through my body. {I know you're afraid of losing me, Semeir.}

I gripped his hand. {Elfangor...}

{I'll never leave you.} He said. {I'll always come back. Okay?}

Slowly, gravely, I nodded my head.

He smiled softly and handed me my crystal. {We should get out of here. It's getting late.}

We exited the cave together. My hearts thudded. The way his eyes shimmered when he'd looked at me...

{Elfangor?}

He faced me. {Yes?}

{Race you up the hill!}

I took off running. Angled my upper body forward and spread my arms backwards towards my lower half. I kept my palms parallel to the ground. Well, one palm-the other hand clutched my crystal. Warriors ran this way to reduce air resistance.

{Hey!}

Elfangor exploded into a gallop. I took pride in noticing I kept pace with him. He'd taught me a trick while running full tilt-he called it rhythmic breathing. I inhaled as my hooves came off the ground and exhaled when they made contact again. I never had trouble catching my breath again.

The top of the hill was in sight. I edged myself forward. With my stalk eyes, I saw Elfangor galloping in profile. He'd assumed the same running pose I had. His muscles all stood out in sharp relief and the wind of our speed made his blue fur ripple. I could see his nostrils flaring. His stalk eyes twisted to look at me. They squinted in a smile.

My muscles strained and I pushed myself up that hill. Elfangor was half a length behind me when I reached the top.

For the first time, I won. I outran him!

{I won!} I reared up and pumped my fists in the air.

{Wow.} Elfangor slowed to a stop. He stayed a few feet below the hilltop and gazed up at me. He still had that shimmering look in his eyes. {Nice running, Semeir.}

Then he clambered up the last few feet to join me on the hilltop. He arched his tail over his head. I stretched mine forward and our blades touched as the first sun sank beneath the horizon.

That night, I slept holding the crystal to my chest.


	9. Map of a Dream Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 8

Chapter 8

.o

When I awoke in the morning, I noticed a small bouquet of _semeir_ blossoms laid next to my hooves. They were fresh picked. I pulled them close to my face and inhaled. So sweet and soft. I looked past the golden petals.

Elfangor was walking away.

{Elfangor!} I raced to his side. {Thank you for the flowers. That was kind of you.}

He stopped and faced me. {They're starting to bloom around my scoop. Heh, they _do_ match your eyes. Keep them out of water and they'll crystallize.}

{To hold more memories?} I squinted one main eye at him. {And this is twice now that you've given me a gift. I need to return the favor.}

Elfangor chuckled, but it didn't last. He wore an expression so solemn that it frightened me.

{I've been deployed.} He said.

I brightened, {Great! When do we leave?}

{I'm afraid you can't come this time.}

I stopped. Forgot about the flowers. Forgot about the fluttering in my hearts. I tried to keep my expression neutral. I think he saw my disappointment anyhow.

But, typical Elfangor, he went on:

{I tried to convince the captain, but he refused. We are going to into heavy combat, and he doesn't think you're ready for a mission like that. I _do_ , but I can't fight the captain. He's not Captain Rubliss. I'm sorry, Semeir. I did try.}

He dug one of his hooves into the ground until he dislodged a small stone. Anybody could tell he really wanted me to come along, and knowing that made my hearts sing.

I stifled my disappointment by jumping up and meeting his eyes.

{Hey, don't worry about it. I'll come next time. When are you leaving?}

{Sometime this afternoon. It's sort of an emergency. Come on.} Elfangor brightened. {One thing I _can_ do is show you the ship.}

{Sure! Let me put these flowers somewhere safe first.}

I ran to do that. Then I rejoined Elfangor in the sunlight.

The terrain between our scoops and the space port had worn itself familiar under my hooves. Elfangor and I spoke only a little en route. He was serious and focused. He got that way when the missions were extremely perilous.

But, in a small way, I was glad to know he'd miss me as much as I'd miss him. I wanted him to hurry up and leave just to cut a few hours off the time between his departure and return.

The space port's metallic towers came into view.

A brand new Dome ship waited in the cradle. Sunlight glistened on the dome. It was much bigger then the _DoomBlade_. So big, in fact, that the spaceport had to be enlarged and deepened in order to make room for it.

Elfangor gestured to the ship, {Semeir, say hello to the _GalaxyTree_.}

{It's huge!} I cried. I couldn't disguise my awe.

{All new,} Elfangor said, and I heard the pride in his voice. Serving aboard a brand new ship was a fantastic honor.

He pulled me aside as people with supplies jostled past us.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Aximili gallop up one of the ramps after receiving a sharp order from a skinny, grumpy-looking prince. He stumbled on the slippery metal in his fright and kept going. I almost waved to him, but he was out of sight before I raised my hand.

{Is Aximili supposed to be inside?}

{Yeah, it's time for him to see life aboard a ship. He doesn't know he's the only _aristh_ yet.} Elfangor didn't look sorry. He teased his brother a bit when they were together. Isn't that what older brothers are supposed to do?

{You know he's going to complain, right?}

{He'll be too busy to get bored.} Elfangor replied, still gazing at the _GalaxyTree_ 's hull. {Come on. Let's go on inside and take a look.}

In we went.

Elfangor dropped his meager belongings off in his quarters. Then he led me on a tour of the ship. I saw the massive fighter bays, the huge engine power cells and the all-new, up-to-the-second bridge. The only part of the captain I saw was his hindquarters since he faced away from me. He looked busy checking all flight systems. I didn't dare bother him.

{I'm hungry. Why don't we race in the dome for luck?} I suggested.

{Sounds like a plan.} Elfangor said.

We turned around and made our way towards the dome. On the way there, we passed a large warrior working at a panel. He paid no attention to where he twitched his tail. I tried to jump over it, but he moved at just the wrong moment. I stumbled to avoid cutting myself on his tailblade, and crashed into the bulkhead beside him.

{Hey watch it!} I snapped as I regrouped.

{You watch it,} He growled, then turned back to the control panel.

I recognized the large hooves before I noticed his face.

{Gafinilan!} Elfangor chided a bit playfully, [Since when did you start tripping females?}

{Since they got under my tail,} Gafinilan replied. He paused a moment to lean on the panel. It looked as though his whole body hurt. Then he went right back to work, and his behavior suggested he wanted no further interruption. {If you see Mertil, tell him the Captain wants him on the bridge as soon as possible.}

{You'll probably see him before I do, but I'll tell him.} Elfangor shook his head and helped me up. {Are you all right?}

{Yeah.} I giggled a little, at my clumsiness, {I'm fine.}

We resumed our journey to the dome. Upon entering, Elfangor and I dashed madly across the grass. It was an informal ritual we came up with after I took off in the _DoomBlade_. We ignored the strange looks the other people gave us. I'm sure we looked pretty silly galloping about like a couple of fools.

After chuckling privately at all the raised brows, Elfangor and I grazed on the grass.

I liked the _GalaxyTree's_ dome! The grass felt lush and a nice river ran around the perimeter. There was even a clump of _therant_ trees marking the center.

As I finished eating my fill, Elfangor subtly pointed out a tall, gruff Andalite entering the dome. He was a mix of light and dark blue with tan streaks on his neck. He let the fur around his hooves grow long and shaggy. A jagged, but old burn scar ran diagonally from his left collarbone to his right pectoral area. His sharp tailblade could cut somebody's eyes out if they just _looked_ at it.

All things considered, he wasn't somebody I'd challenge for anything.

{That's Captain Nerefir, over there. If there's ever an Andalite in history I'd call my hero, it's him. When I was barely walking on my four legs, he single-handedly saved two of our fleets from a Yeerk ambush.} Elfangor told me privately.

Wow, Elfangor's hero? I immediately stood at attention to show respect. Captain Nerefir greeted Elfangor in his rough thoughtspeak voice.

{Hello, War-Prince Elfangor.}

{Captain,} Elfangor saluted.

They spoke privately for a moment. Almost arguing, but without angry expressions. Then Elfangor introduced me to the Captain.

It was hard not to feel nervous. Captain Nerefir had nothing gentle about him. I had to remind myself that he wasn't Captain Rubliss. His posture, his face and his demeanor were all like steel. His yellow-green eyes were as piercing as a _kafit_ bird's.

{So this is the dreamer.} Captain Nerefir regarded me like an uppity child. He slowly cracked all fourteen of his knuckles. {And you're planning to be a warrior?}

{Yes, sir.} I stated, trying to sound as formal as I could.

He arched a brow. {Why?}

I told him about Elfangor teaching me everything I knew. I even showed him some of the tailfighting moves I'd been taught. Captain Nerefir blinked. Then he laughed, but it wasn't derisive. It was more like the kind of laughing Elfangor and I did when we were enjoying ourselves.

I noticed his smile became less indulgent when my story neared its end.

{...and with everything I've been taught, why can't I come along? I'm as educated as an _aristh_ at the very least. I want to help.} I finished, trying again to sound braver than I felt.

Captain Nerefir slowly shook his head, his expression hardening. I knew what his answer would be before it left his mind.

{You're still young, and you still have a lot to learn. It wouldn't do my reputation any good if I let a female get killed in action. Real dreamers are very patient people. Your time will come, but it isn't right now.}

Nothing about his tone was gentle, yet I sensed a sliver of kindness behind his words. I'm not entirely sure he believed in me as much as Elfangor. Was he just saying all this to pacify my annoyance at being left behind?

{Sir...I-}

{Semeir, you need to learn patience.} Captain Nerefir cut me off.

Then he held out his hand and, in a slightly mocking tone, he said, {Requesting permission to shake hands with a future warrior.}

The Captain asking me permission to shake hands! For a moment I didn't know what to say. I got the distinct impression he was only humoring me. But refusing _would_ be rude. I reached out and took hold of his forearm. He grasped mine. He had strong hands for an Andalite.

{Good luck in your studies.} Captain Nerefir told me. He turned to leave, and I knew I had to say something to break the tension.

{Sir?}

Nerefir turned his stalk eyes to me. {What now?}

{Burn some slugs. Burn 'em good!} I said as intensely as I could. {No fear.}

{Haha! It's a sure thing! Elfangor, you taught her well.} He chuckled and started towards the dome's exit.

Elfangor and I looked at each other. He smiled at me. I tried to stop shaking. Captain Nerefir had to be the scariest ship's captain I'd ever met. His gaze alone could rip the paint off a bulkhead!

Captain Nerefir was halfway out of the dome when Aximili came barreling through. He wasn't paying attention to where he was going, and plowed right into Captain Nerefir's side.

BAM! THU-THUMP!

They both went down in a tangle of limbs and tails. One of Nerefir's stalk eyes banged against the entrance railing. Aximlii got up and stood there looking horrified while the poor Captain lay sprawled in a daze.

Everybody in the dome stopped grazing. They stared in horror.

I moved to help. Elfangor used his tail to block my path.

{No. Let the Captain have his dignity,} he said privately.

{IDIOTIC _ARISTH!_ } Captain Nerefir roared.

 __

Everyone flinched. That yell is still echoing somewhere in the atmosphere. I'm sure of it.

Aximili became nothing more than a blue streak vanishing down the corridor. Never had I seen an Andalite run faster!

Grumbling and cursing, Captain Nerefir slowly got up and left the dome, holding one of his eyestalks.

Life went back to normal. Activity on the grass resumed, albeit more subdued than before.

A computerized thoughtspeak voice called over the mirrorwave intercom: {The _GalaxyTree_ will depart in thirty minutes. All nonessential personnel must disembark. Thank you.}

Final preparations were to begin.

I dreaded it. By the look of it, so did Elfangor.

{I'll show you out,} he said.

I followed him when he checked in with the fighter pilots. We passed Gafinilan on the way outside. I also glimpsed Captain Nerefir again. His left eyestalk was badly bruised and twice the size of its brother. He kept that eye closed.

I hope Aximli found a really good hiding place. He'd need it.

{Almost time to go.} Elfangor said.

{Why so sad? I thought dangerous missions excited you.} I replied.

{It's not that.} Elfangor answered me with an admitting tone of voice, {I don't know. I have a funny feeling...ah it's nothing. Probably just a little scared.}

{Why scared?} I was surprised. Elfangor? Scared? Such a thing was unheard of. In my mind at least.

{Just because you won't be there.} He smiled and tilted his head a bit. {I feel braver with you around, Semeir.}

Warmth spread through my cheeks. {Really?}

He lowered his eyelids a little and nodded. I wanted to raise his spirits, so looked at him directly and spoke with a tone as serious as a ship's captain, {Prince Elfangor! No fear. That is an order!}

{Yes, Captain.} A small shimmer passed though his lovely green eyes.

Then we hugged, ignoring any strange glances shot our way.

It would be the last for awhile, I figured, so I held on tighter than usual. Part of me didn't want to be all alone while he was out burning slugs. I belonged by his side, helping in the war effort.

But my time hadn't come yet.

My hearts ached. Elfangor hadn't even left, and I already missed him!

{Do you promise to hurry back?} I asked without thinking.

{I promise.} Elfangor hugged me tighter before he let go, and I lowered my eyes for a moment. When I did, he used his hand to raise my chin so he could see my face. {You are already a warrior to me, Semeir. It's in your eyes. It's in your blood. You just need to prove it to the rest of the world. And I would be proud to be your war-prince.}

I barely kept my face composed. Elfangor called me a warrior. It was one of the best compliments he ever gave me.

His face grew serious again and we stared in each other's eyes. Nothing else existed. Nothing else mattered. I thought of yesterday-those moments in the cave where I'd been so aware of his masculinity.

I wanted to be his wife. I wanted to have his children. I wanted to love him openly, not in secrets and dreams.

I couldn't let him leave until he knew everything.

{Elfangor...}

Elfangor steadied my hands. {You're shaking.}

I couldn't falter. Not now!

{I-I know. There...there's something you need to know. Something I've kept from you for a long time. _Shorms_ don't keep secrets, right?}

The blood pulsed in my fingertips. It roared in my ears as it returned to my hearts and rushed back out again. I was aware of every strand of fur on my body, of the heat from Elfangor's hands and the weight of his eyes gazing into mine. Sweat beaded behind my ears. Noises from the space port seemed distant, unreal. Elfangor and I existed in a bubble outside the real world.

Why would this moment terrify me more than fighting a million Hork-Bajir Controllers? Why were words so hard? Why do people wait until it's nearly too late to say things like this?

 __

If I don't say it now, I never will. Tell him, Semeir, tell him!

I closed my eyes and poured out my soul.

{I love you.} I blurted. The three hardest words I've ever said to him in my life. No turning back. Once I said them, the rest came in a rush. {I mean, um...I-I really love you. It's not a crush, i-it's not about you being a hero to the people and it's not about your status-it's _you_. I've loved you since we met and-and I've been too afraid to say so because...because-because of...oh I don't know! I love you, Elfangor!}

There, I said it. I said it all, but I kept my eyes shut.

No response came. Time dilated around me. I still felt his gaze on my face like a laser against my fur.

I expected him to let go of my hands. I expected him to laugh.

But the hands grasping mine held on tighter. He said my name.

I opened my eyes.

Elfangor was still looking at me with an expression of...relief?

Suddenly, he released my left hand and stroked my cheek. First with his knuckles. Then his palm. Slowly. Gently. I felt his other hand brush the opposite side of my face. His electric touch sent tingling from my eyestalks to my hooves.

I will remember this moment forever. Every dream I had about him came to life at his touch.

 __

He kissed _me_ first.

I reached up and stroked the sides of his face with both of my hands. I kissed him the way I've wanted to ever since I first saw him standing tall against the sun. He felt powerful, yet soft and real against my palms. My Prince, my fairy tale hero, the only Andalite I've ever loved.

Elfangor's hands cupped my cheeks. All four of his eyes gazed seriously into all four of mine.

{I knew.} He said. Our faces were so close that we shut out the rest of the noisy space port. {I've been waiting to hear you say it out loud.}

It shouldn't have surprised me. Elfangor was as shrewd as Rubliss and probably knew me better than I knew myself.

And something about his tone of thoughtspeak-it all made sense. Those shimmering looks. All those embraces. The darkness in his eyes yesterday. The crystal. The flowers.

I wasn't the only one with a secret.

{I _love_ you,} I said again.

Elfangor smiled at me. A real smile with no sadness behind it. His eyes twinkled like river crystals. With the secret out, I saw everything I felt for him being reflected back at me.

{I love you, too.} He said.

This was no dream. Dreams ended before the best part.

 __

This was a dream coming _true_.

Did he know he just made me the happiest Andalite in the universe? I wanted to run about like a child, shrieking my good fortune to everyone in listening range. Since such wasn't practical or dignified, I basked in his beautiful eyes. By the Ellimist, I desperately wanted this moment to last as long as possible.

{That took a lot of guts, Semeir. I'm so proud of you.} Elfangor went on, still smiling. {You've grown up so much since I first saw you crouched in the grass.}

{A lot of that is your doing.} I pointed out.

{Most of it was _yours_.} He said back.

{How about we say half and half and call it even?}

That made him laugh. I loved the way his eyes crinkled-he didn't laugh nearly enough, and I know all the reasons why.

{I want to be your wife, someday.} I told him privately. A bold thing for a female to say a male, but I didn't want to leave any doubt in his mind that what I felt was genuine.

Elfangor's smile didn't disappear. If anything it softened. {You'll reach marrying age next year.}

I flushed from eyestalks to chin. {Sooo...you'll propose to me then?}

{After the traditional one year courtship, yes.}

He was _serious!_

I ducked my head, shy even though no more secrets stood between us. Elfangor always knew how to make me feel special. I couldn't begin to describe what he did for my self-esteem.

{I never thought I would feel this way again about anyone.} Elfangor sighed-a happy sigh. {I'm...I'm happy with you.}

I cupped his face in both of my hands. He closed his eyes and leaned into my touch.

{I'll keep making you happy.} I told him.

He petted my cheek again. {I'll be sure to return the favor.}

{You already did a million times over.}

We chuckled together because it was true.

Elfangor saw me through the loss of my family, and I saw him through all the secrecy he kept from the general population.

I wasn't Loren, the first female he loved. I never pretended to be, nor did I want to replace her in his hearts. But I knew I would take care of him when the time was right for us to marry. When I became his wife, I would have the option of joining him aboard whichever Dome ship he served during a mission. That pretty much set me up to prove myself to all those males.

Nothing stood in the way of my dreams then. Nothing!

Warning alarms sounded off around the _GalaxyTree_. Red lights flashed and a voice boomed over the mirrorwave intercom, {Takeoff commences in five minutes. Please clear the platform.}

Reality.

Why did it intrude so rudely?

I refocused on Elfangor's face, taking in the way he looked at me. He'd been looking at me the same way I've been looking at him all along. And I, in my youth and ignorance, didn't believe my own eyes.

We were both silly fools, taking this long to admit the obvious.

Elfangor knew I loved him all along, and he loved me back. We stood on the cusp of taking our relationship to the next level. The only thing between us now was the _GalaxyTree_ mission.

But once he returned, I could run up to him and clasp his hands the way other females greeting their lovers and husbands. We would rush forward, say our greetings and leave the space port with our tails entwined.

{You should go.} I said, petting the side of his face with my palm. It was hard, trying to be brave for him. {The sooner you go, the sooner you'll return.}

Elfangor hugged me again and rubbed his cheek against mine. His breath tickled my neck. {Don't worry. I'll be right back. Just a few days, maybe a week at the most.}

I nodded and returned the embrace, and it no longer seemed awkward. He was so strong and warm. I felt every ripple and curve of the muscles in his upper body. I memorized them. I was sure we would get to know each other far more intimately in the next year.

I spoke, {No fear, Elfangor.}

{No fear, my love.}

Shivers ran down my spine. The way he said that held so many promises.

Elfangor drew back and climbed onboard the ship. He stood at attention, and so did I. His eyes gleamed as he smiled at me. The ramp retracted and the hatch started to close. He looked like an untouchable god more powerful than the Ellimist.

Then the hatch closed and sealed with a hiss, separating us.

Launch sirens cleared the platform, but several people stayed around to watch the _GalaxyTree_ take off. Because the ship's new, massive dome would crush the main length below it, the _GalaxyTree_ could not be raised vertical. Instead, the ship fired its thrusters and slowly blasted off at an angle. The cradle itself offered an antigravity boost.

Seeing something so massive rise-it defied imagination. I was in awe.

The _GalaxyTree_ truly looked and felt like a huge creature heading off to devour the Yeerks. Even with the antigravity boost, its powerful engines shook the ground. Every vibration rippled through my skeleton. The roar drowned out my thoughts.

I'm sure it felt just as intense inside-I couldn't wait to hear Elfangor tell me all about it when he returned.

I skirted the crowd and galloped alongside the giant ship. My stalk eyes focused ahead. My main eyes were fixed on the hatch Elfangor used. I saw his face in the small porthole window beside it. He knew it was me running, and waved. I waved back as the ship accelerated to overtake me.

My breath came in ragged spurts. I slowed to a trot and watched the _GalaxyTree_ reach escape velocity. It was soon a long, dark speck high in the sky. Then smaller still, a brilliant star shrinking until it disappeared in the distance.

I'm so glad I told Elfangor everything, because nothing could prepare me for what came next.


	10. Map of a Dream Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 9

Chapter 9

.o

Elfangor's parents were surprisingly accommodating. Now that the _GalaxyTree_ was complete and on its maiden voyage, they had free time to return home and rest.

I think Elfangor explained my situation to them, because they checked in with me at least once a day. He thought the Yeerks put a _gashad_ on my head. It wouldn't surprise me-my step-father angered many Vissers by revealing their secrets to the Andalite military. And Yeerks don't like traitors.

At the same time, Elfangor's attention to my safety warmed my hearts. Even in his absence, he kept me safe. Looking after his parents would be the perfect repayment for his kindness.

Initially, I felt strange when I visited Elfangor's scoop without him, but Noorlin and Forlay were very welcoming of my presence. Noorlin always enjoyed a good tail fighting spar, and Forlay liked listening to my adventures among warriors.

Then the days began to pass.

I missed Elfangor a great deal, but tried to hold a brave face. When I wasn't helping his mother and father attend their scoop, I was knocking spent cells off branches, target-practicing with my handheld shredder or daydreaming in the secret cave.

Nights felt even lonelier. I'd look up and imagine Elfangor somewhere amidst the stars, making the Yeerks sorry. Knowing him, he was shooting a few down for me.

I kept telling myself that he would be home in no time at all. I had no doubts about it. And when he came home, we could discuss this new step in our relationship. We would court-tradition-and in one more year we would marry.

Unlike most females, I never dreamed of a giant wedding full of ritual and ceremony. I had no desire to be paraded up a hill and have dozens of people watch Elfangor and I say our vows.

I wanted something simple and intimate, like beneath Elfangor's _Hala Fala_ tree. Just him and I, and his parents as witnesses. Captain Rubliss could read us our vows.

Again and again, I imagined us sharing our vows under a glorious golden sunset. I dreamed about our post-marriage gallop and the child I hoped would follow. I know, I know, I got way ahead of myself. I just couldn't help it.

I was _happy_.

But days passed and no word came. I puttered around my scoop. Watched Dome ship launches. Waited. Practiced my skills. Saw my _semeir_ blossoms crystallize. Puttered some more.

Half the time, I expected to hear Elfangor galloping over the hill at any moment, victorious and proud. Every time I heard hoof beats, I jerked my eyestalks towards the sound. And each time, I was disappointed.

His parents started to show unease, which wasn't like them. They never worried too much. Yet for two straight days, I saw them grazing while holding hands and talking in low thoughtspeak tones.

{Nothing yet, my love.} Noorlin told Forlay.

Forlay responded, {This isn't like them. Elfangor especially...he is very responsible. He would contact us if something was wrong.}

{The combat may be heavy right now. This war is escalating. I am certain we'll hear from them both soon.}

They waited just as I did. I was on my hooves running whenever I thought I heard my communications console beep. Much of the time, I'd imagined it.

During an afternoon of grazing, I swore I saw Elfangor trot up to my scoop. It looked like him from a distance. When the figure came closer, I noticed the darker fur. Elfangor and Aximili both took after their father-the three of them looked so much alike and had the same eyes.

{Has there been any word?} Noorlin asked.

{No. None.} I replied, casting a sideways glance at the inactive communications array under one of the small canopies. {I waited by the com all day and no signals have come in. I can't even hear their regular communications.}

He looked up at the sky and sighed. {I hope the worst hasn't happened.}

{I'm sure they're both fine.} I told him. {Aximili might be a troublemaker, but Elfangor will keep him in line.}

Noorlin smiled a little. {I suppose you're right. Thank you.} He nodded to me and continued past, heading towards his scoop. His wife, Forlay, rushed to greet him.

Someday, that would be Elfangor and I.

I looked up towards the sky when Noorlin was out of sight. Everything was fine. I saw no reason to worry. Heroes like Elfangor were invincible.

Time kept passing. Sunrises, sunsets. Each day slower than the last, and the nights became even longer.

I kept the flowers Elfangor gave me close. Their petals had fallen off and the centers crystallized into fragile, thumb-sized hexagon shapes. I planned to fill them with my daydreams and leave them at his scoop when he returned. Then he could share all the imaginings I enjoyed in his absence.

Except...I had trouble sleeping for many nights in a row. When sleep finally found me, I had a disturbing dream.

Elfangor stood alone, illuminated by the only shaft of light in a darkened void. He looked at me with a sad smile and said a single word:

 __

{Hope...}

Then his image vanished like a flame stamped out. I did not dream again for the rest of the night.

Weeks went by.

Elfangor said he would return in _a_ week, and it had been more.

 __

There were more Yeerks than he thought. I pacified myself. _It's just taking longer than expected. He'll be here. He'll be here very soon_.

I watched another Dome ship launch. I planted a garden of flowers that would bloom in exactly one year. Just in time for the wedding. Noorlin gave the seeds to me as a gift.

In fact, I was kneeling down to tend the seedlings when I heard it. Hoofbeats coming fast. My stalk eyes automatically turned to the source.

Noorlin.

He was panting, so he'd run the whole way. Maybe he had news!

{Greetings, Noorlin!} I grabbed my _semeir_ crystals and galloped out to meet him. {I was just about to tend the seeds you gave me.}

{Semeir,} Noorlin regarded me with a nod. His eyestalks slumped. He looked like someone carrying the universe upon their shoulders.

Behind him, I noticed Forlay appearing far paler than usual. She did not smile at me. In fact, she looked on the verge of breaking apart.

{Aximili got hurt, didn't he?} I said. Forlay's body language said it all. Mothers always reacted the worst when their youngest were injured.

{Aximili contacted us. He is fine,} said Noorlin.

{Then...the _GalaxyTree_ has a decent physician. Don't worry. He'll patch Elfangor up before you can swipe your tail. And he-}

Forlay clenched her fists. Her blue-violet knuckles turned nearly white. She approached Noorlin and clutched his arm. The pallor of her face scared me.

{The _GalaxyTree_ was destroyed.} She said. Her voice was pained. {Aximili was the only survivor. Everyone else...}

{No.} I choked, and stepped away from her as if I could step out of this reality. { _No_. It can't be. Elfangor-}

{Elfangor is dead.} Noorlin said flatly.

The crystallized _semeir_ blossoms slipped from my boneless fingers. They hit a rock and shattered into a million pieces.

{No, no, no...there must be a mistake.} I floundered for a hole in their logic. {There must be a _mistake!_ }

Noorlin avoided my eyes. Forlay struggled to compose herself.

It hit me like a stone. My mind ground to a halt. The blood drained from my face until I became as pale as Forlay. My knees wanted to buckle. I felt cold, hot and heavy all at the same time.

{We were going to court each other. He was going to marry me in a year. Noorlin, you gave me seeds to count down the days.}

Forlay looked stricken. She reached her hand out. {Semeir-}

{No!}

I should have stayed there. I should have helped them through their grief.

Instead, I did something selfish.

I ran as fast as I could from the scoop without looking back. This couldn't be real! It couldn't!

 __

Elfangor, dead. Elfangor, never coming back. Elfangor, gone. Those words plagued my mind. He was _gone_. Just when I achieved my dream of truly loving him, he _died!_ How could the fates be so cruel?

He promised to come back. He promised to be there when I became a warrior. He promised to propose to me in a year. He _promised_ so many things!

I had our lives all planned out in my head. Everything was so clear. So perfect. Now my dreams lay in pieces around me.

Before I realized it I was in the secret cave behind the waterfall, crying deep in my hearts. Elfangor would have found me there. He would have hugged me and asked if I was all right.

 __

I'll never feel his embrace again. I thought, and it made me shudder. _Elfangor died far from home, probably alone, and I wasn't with him. I wasn't holding his hand_.

{You promised you would always come back!} I raged. {You _promised!_ }

Then I fell to my knees and stared at my reflection in the water. The large, golden main eyes and pointed chin seemed so foreign; that was my mother's face, not mine.

For what felt like hours, I stared at that water. I wanted my mother. I wanted my step-father. I wanted Tetrof and Coofani. I wanted Elfangor.

He said he loved me. He was supposed to return and discuss our courtship, our wedding plans. I promised to be waiting when he got back.

Everybody I had ever loved was gone.

I gazed at my reflection. How would I achieve my dreams without him? I needed his answers! He always had the answers!

Anguished, I thrashed my tail against the cave wall on my right. The rock crumbled and metal gleamed at me. I leaned closer. A box about the size of my childhood data pad was wedged into a crevice. It looked old and rusted from the moist atmosphere of the cave. When I picked the box up and shook it, it rattled.

So I opened it.

Mostly, it had little crystals inside. They varied in size, shape and color. Elfangor said he liked to collect them, but I'd never seen his collection. The green river crystals reminded me of his eyes.

My chest tightened when I saw them.

I used my fingers to sift through the contents of the box. The crystals were beautiful little worlds surrounded by memories I would never know.

Then I noticed a silver cylinder buried under a pile of red and purple geode chunks. It looked too clean and new to be a catalogue for the collection.

Grasping the cylinder, I turned it over in my hand. A simple, portable holo projector. I pressed the gold button on the side, and a transparent, life-sized image of Elfangor flickered into being. He appeared to stand on the surface of the glowing pool like a spirit.

My hearts ached more than ever. I reached for his hand. My fingers passed right through.

 __

{Semeir,} Elfangor's hologram regarded me. _{If you found this, then it means I'm no longer alive. You must be heartbroken. I'm sorry. I know I made a lot of promises to you.}_

Sorry? Now he said he was sorry? He broke his promises!

 __

{I've been watching you learn and grow through everything I'm teaching you. You were just a child when I first saw you. I remember how Leehan used to intimidate you. And I remember seeing you stand up to him after I taught you about proper tail fighting. I saw the fire in your eyes. You were so strong. You are still strong.}

Not without him...how could I go on without my compass?

I almost turned off the hologram. Seeing what I could never touch again made my soul quiver in agony.

 __

{I don't think I ever told you which Earth fairy tale was my favorite. I really didn't have one until I met you. When I think about it now, this one reminds me of you. "The Ugly Duckling" is its title. It is a long story, but here is the gist of it: A strange bird hatches among ducks, which are a type of bird on Earth. He was persecuted, called ugly and abused for being different, but he endured it. Then one day he saw his reflection and realized he had grown into a swan. Swans are beautiful birds with long white necks and graceful wings, but in their infancy they look strange, awkward and gray. Metaphorically, Semeir, you've undergone the same transformation.}

I stared up at Elfangor's image. It gazed back at me. The truth was in his eyes. It was always there.

 __

{Your ideals made you different, but you stuck with them even though others sneered at you. You're just like the swan. And now that you're almost an adult, you look so much like your mother. I remember her-your mother was beautiful, and so are you.}

The hologram flickered. Elfangor's image stepped forward and lowered onto its knees. As if he knew I'd be kneeling on the ground when I got his message.

 __

{This part may be redundant if you speak up first...but just in case. Just in case something idiotic happens...Semeir, I want you to know that I love you, and I knew you loved me. Don't feel guilty if you never said anything. It's a big risk to reveal those feelings to anyone...}

A big risk.

Bigger than inviting a Yeerk into my head. With a Yeerk, I know I'll lose control of my body. Telling Elfangor how I felt-I had no idea what to expect once the words left my head.

 __

{...but I think you have the guts to speak up. That's why this part of the message will be redundant by the time you see it.}

Now his image smiled knowingly. His eyes seemed to peer straight into mine. The exact same look he gave me outside the _GalaxyTree_. He had the most beautiful eye-smile.

 __

{Don't give up on your dreams of becoming a warrior. I believe with all my hearts that you're going to make it. You're stronger than you think. I'm glad you're a part of my life. I was lonely amongst my own people, and you helped that. You forgave me when I couldn't forgive myself. For that, I'll always be grateful.}

Elfangor's ghostly hand reached out. I leaned into it even though I knew I wouldn't feel it. But I could pretend.

 __

{I'm running out of space on this data cylinder. So, uh...I want to leave you with a poem from Earth. It was written by a human named Langston Hughes. I recited it to you right after you lost your family, but I don't think you remember me doing it. I will recite it for you again.

"Hold fast to dreams  
for if dreams die,  
life is like a broken-winged bird  
that cannot fly.

Hold fast to dreams,  
for when dreams go,  
life is a barren field,  
frozen with snow."

Don't let your dreams die, Semeir. Grieve, but don't grieve forever. You're strong. Let the world see it.} Elfangor's hologram winked at me. _{No fear, my love.}_

His image flickered and vanished. I was alone again in the cave. Emptiness rushed in and around me like air filling a vacuum. I laid the holographic emitter back under the pile of crystals and closed the box. The box was returned to its hidden home within the rock wall.

The glowing pool rippled when I knelt again to stare at my reflection.

Yes, I'd grown up and looked just like my mother. But I also saw the fire Elfangor mentioned. It was there in my eyes. His words had re-ignited my desire to finish what I started.

I thrust my fist into the water, distorting my reflection. My dream wouldn't die with Elfangor. I refused to let it.

I left the cave before the water settled again.

Upon returning to my scoop, I picked up the shattered crystals. I must have spent half the night piecing them back together using _illsipar_ nectar as an adhesive. Forlay taught me that trick.

Except I didn't rebuild each individual crystal. I attached all the pieces into a lopsided hexagon as big as my hand. It became an abstract amber mosaic hanging off the awning where I slept.

When morning came, it glittered in the sunlight like hope.

I could do it. I could go on.

I just had to bide my time.

.o

The days continued their tireless passage. I spent them tending to Elfangor's parents, who were both physically ill with grief. I thought I could clear my head by healing them, but it didn't work. Noorlin and Forlay's health gradually improved. My future was still gray and indistinct.

I didn't know which way to turn. I had a map of a dream all drawn out, and while I slept a nightmare tore it apart.

Elfangor would tell me to just redraw the map with a new route.

And I tried, but it's harder than it sounds.

Lirem-Arrepoth-Terrouss held a public memorial for Elfangor and all those lost along with the _GalaxyTree_. There were plans to build a statue of Elfangor just outside the space port. I cringed because Elfangor would have hated the idea.

The solemn memorial service lasted a full day. Family members of those killed in action submitted holographic movies that played for all to see. I saw grandfathers, fathers, brothers, sons, uncles and husbands, each face belonging to someone whose dreams wouldn't come true.

I saw footage of Elfangor as a baby, just born and learning to walk. He was an _adorable_ infant with stubby eyestalks and oversized ears. I saw him grow into a young _aristh_. Everybody cheered at the footage of him returning after many years of absence, a lost cadet reappearing out of nowhere. I was one of two people on the whole planet who knew _why_ he went missing.

When a hologram of Elfangor running came up, I had to turn away. The memories tore into my hearts. Would I ever heal?

I continued my aimless drifting through time. Life went on, and it didn't stop because a hero died.

That was the worst part-life _kept moving_ when I wanted nothing more than to wrench it to a halt, rewind it and keep Elfangor from accepting that fatal mission.

In a week, everybody was talking about the loss of the _GalaxyTree_ and the greatest hero of our time. I heard his name everywhere.

Noorlin and Forlay finally found the strength to tell me about Aximili's message.

Elfangor died on planet Earth, and he wasn't alone. Human children witnessed his fighter crashing. They tried to help him. In a strange way, I was glad to hear that. He didn't die alone.

There were also questions: How did Aximili survive? Would he be able to get home? I even heard conflicting reports that _Seerow's Kindness_ had been broken, but nobody was clear about who did it.

I knew Elfangor was the one. I wasn't angry. He had a life on Earth. He would have given the planet a chance to fight.

 __

Elfangor, you were a hero to the end...

Gossip ran rampant. When I could listen in on it, I did. I heard that a Yeerk murdered Elfangor in cold blood. Intent on hearing more, I burst into the conversation and learned the identity of his killer. The name sent anger through my whole body.

Elfangor spoke about this Yeerk when he told me stories of his adventures. The biggest regret of his life was to let this Yeerk gain the body it gained.

Now, I had two Yeerks to personally hate on every level. Visser Ten, and Visser Three.

I haven't met Visser Three yet. For his sake, I hope I never do.


	11. Map of a Dream Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 10

Chapter 10

.o

A year passed. Gone were the days where I'd bury myself in fairy tales from other worlds and long for a prince to rescue me. One did, but he couldn't stay. I didn't _need_ rescuing anymore.

Life wasn't a fairy tale and I was no longer a child.

During that year, I got serious about my education. I dabbled in all the subjects I dropped while under Elfangor's care. I became fluent in _Galard_ , a universal language the Yeerks used amongst hosts of varying races.

I had a translator chip installed under the skin behind my left ear. Then I spent hours listening to recordings of other languages to give the translator chip a slight head start.

I practiced my piloting skills using flight simulators. People sometimes watched. They'd laugh at me going in and stare when I left.

I came in contact with an Escafil device and acquired the power to morph. I'll never forget the first time I morphed a _Kafit_ bird and flew. I saw my world from a above, but it didn't hold the beauty it used to. Elfangor wasn't with me. He made everything special. New experiences didn't have the same luster without him.

Morphing had little use for me, so I only morphed that one time.

While I was working on my education, I ran into Reshalla. She grew up to become a teacher and married an engineer. And she was a very delicate female-shorter than me with a typical small tailblade and tapering fingers. The differences in us were so drastic that I could remember how much they'd been reversed all those years ago.

{I barely recognized you! You've grown so much.} She said. {How are you?}

{I'm not little anymore.} I replied. {And I'm fine, thank you.}

Reshalla walked with me while I grazed. I looked again at her. She was heavily pregnant. I half expected to see amniotic fluid explode from her backside while we ate.

It made me feel a little jealous-I'll admit it. But how would I mother a child if I was mired in war and battle? Would it be fair to bring a child into the world if I couldn't take care of it?

{Are you still chasing that dream of becoming a warrior?} Reshalla eyed me up and down. {No, never mind. I can already tell that you are by the way you carry yourself.}

To me, that felt like a compliment.

{Listen...} she continued. {I'm sorry about what I used to say to you. Nobody thought you would go for it.}

I reached out and touched her arm. {Don't, Reshalla. It's the past. We were children then. People grow up.}

That made her smile. {I should go. Konoor just had his _Tria_ gland removed, and I need to tend him.}

{Oh! Is he all right?}

{He's fine. He hasn't learned how to rest when he's ill.} Reshalla laughed. {That is why females exist. To keep the stupid males from working themselves into the ground.}

I laughed out of politeness. Reshalla's statement stung a little. She didn't know anything about the military. She knew nothing of seeing someone she loved leave, never to return.

We went our separate ways.

I tried to shake the notion that Elfangor would be back at any moment. Logically, I knew he was gone, but my mind and hearts weren't speaking to each other.

Grief doesn't follow a set path. You're fine for days, and then a little reminder breaks you all over again. I survived the loss of my family because I was young, because I didn't see constant reminders everywhere.

This loss...every single thing reminded me of _him_.

The worst was the date Elfangor and I would have been married. I woke up alone that morning, and I cried harder than I ever cried in my life. I looked at my garden. The seeds Noorlin gave me sprouted and bloomed like little white cups against the grass. They were the only witnesses to my misery.

It's hard to go on when the life you planned is yanked out from under you. It's hard to smile when you feel empty. It's _so_ hard, but you have to keep breathing. If I learned anything from Elfangor-I just had to endure. For him.

I spent days at the space port, watching launches and landings.

I know, I know...a foolish waste of time. Elfangor wasn't coming back. But he wasn't the one I waited for.

My foolishness paid off. I watched a Dome ship named _SkyWarrior_ descend into the docking clamps.

I didn't look when eager warriors, princes, war-princes and _arisths_ stampeded out to greet their friends, betrothed, wives or family members. The person I hoped to see was the last one off the ship.

{Semeir!} Rubliss cantered towards me, surprised to see me there. {I almost didn't recognize you. You've grown up since I last saw you up close.}

I peered at him. A faint new scar roughened the fur near his right eye. He'd developed tan fur on the very tips of his ears, above his main eyes and on his chin. Males usually clipped the tufts on their ears short. In fact, he was the only Andalite I knew who wore the shaggy-eared style.

Rubliss still looked quite distinguished and attractive despite being old enough to be my grandfather. Not every male Andalite had the luxury of aging so well.

{So have you,} I remarked, which caused his stalk eyes to smile in amusement.

{I've always looked young for my age.} Rubliss' smile flashed brighter, but didn't last. He became serious and said, {I'm terribly sorry about Elfangor.}

The years hadn't been kind to that wound. Elfangor's name made it ache anew. How many others lost loved ones on the _GalaxyTree_? In this entire war? How many more would never see their husbands, brothers or sons come home?

{Thank you.} I said. I forced my expression to stay composed. {Captain Rubliss, when is your next mission?}

{The _SkyWarrior_ will be taking off again tomorrow morning, as soon as it's refueled. Why? Looking to hop aboard?}

He knew me too well. I only had to look at him and he saw the answer all over my face.

{I'll work something out.} He said.

{Good. I've been training intensely since we last met. I want to _fight_. You're the only Captain I know who is willing to give me that chance. I've waited long enough. It's my time.}

Rubliss raised a brow. He seemed surprised that I'd say something so bold, and for a moment I worried I'd overreached the boundaries of our friendship. I stepped forward and kept talking.

{I still want to be a warrior. I still can't hop into any old academy and expect them to pick up where Elfangor left off. The only way I can do this is to show my capabilities. Elfangor believed in me. He wanted my dreams just as much as I do. I _want_ to make a difference in this war, but I can't do it alone. I need someone to _let_ me show everyone. If I do it, maybe the military will begin to let females join the war effort. Others with the same dream need someone to open that door.}

{Just what is going on in that brain of yours?} Rubliss regarded me curiously.

I shifted my weight. His hard gaze made me nervous. {I think I'm ready. Really, honestly ready to take on a real mission. Not a patrol stint-a _real_ mission.}

{Semeir...I hope you know what you're getting into. War is not a game, it is not fun.}

That twisted my stomach, and I almost gave the elder Andalite a piece of my mind. Did he think I was so ignorant?

I kept my expression carefully bland.

{Fun has nothing to do with it, sir. I'm not a child anymore. My dream did not die with Elfangor. If anything, I want it more than ever.}

For many moments Rubliss didn't say anything. His pale main eyes and darker green stalk eyes studied my face. He began to trot away, but paused and regarded me with one stalk eye.

{Do you know which Visser assassinated your family?}

Well, _that_ certainly came out of nowhere.

{Visser Ten,} I answered. {Why?}

Rubliss resumed walking. {I'll see you here tomorrow. Oh-five-hundred. Don't be late.}

{Wait!}

But Rubliss broke into a gallop, and didn't hear me.

That night, I told no one where I was going, just that I had to leave. Noorlin and Forlay were naturally concerned-they'd become like surrogate parents to me. I assured them I'd be fine.

My sleep was deep; I don't remember if I dreamed. I was awake again before the suns came up. Darkness became my cover when I traversed the familiar path to the space port.

On the way, a conversation I had with Elfangor haunted me.

 __

{I saw that. You did well.}

{I lost! I did everything you taught me and he still won!}

{It doesn't matter whether you win or lose a fight, it's the fact that you tried that counts. It took courage for you to stand up to someone that intimidates you.}

I never realized just how important his words were. They went beyond a schoolyard scuffle. To become a female warrior, I would have to fight every step of the way and prove myself.

Elfangor tried to fight for me. He couldn't stay to finish the battle. That was up to me.

Dawn broke over the _SkyWarrior's_ hull, which steamed in the cool morning air. Its engines hissed. It looked like a living, breathing creature and all of its portholes were eyes that could see me.

{You're early.} Rubliss interrupted my thoughts.

I met his main eyes with my stalk eyes.

Before I said anything, he went on, {Dome ships are like living creatures, aren't they? The _SkyWarrior_ almost is. It's lying in wait. Treat it right and it'll sing for you. But treat it wrong, and it won't let you forget.}

I nodded, slowly. {Sometimes, I wonder what our ships will be like in another thousand years.}

{They'll be better. Come on, let's go inside.}

Rubliss and I clambered up the dew-covered ramp without speaking. I followed him to the line of tiny _aristh's_ quarters. They had no windows, and only a small shelf for belongings. All I brought with me were my small hologram of Elfangor and the crystal he gave me.

{Number one will be your quarters.}

They seemed more cramped than I remembered. I'd been much smaller the last time I slept in an _aristh's_ quarters. I set Elfangor's hologram down in the back corner.

Rubliss gestured for me to follow him. Others were boarding the ship. They saluted Rubliss as he passed, but mostly ignored me.

All at once, he stopped, reached into a panel in the wall and took out a gray bandolier. It had pouches with power cells and a single, holstered shredder pistol.

I stifled a gasp. Only _warriors_ were allowed to wear and carry shredders!

{This belonged to Elfangor. I held onto it. He wore this during ground missions.} Rubliss' eyes fixed on mine as he handed me the bandolier. {Strap it on tight. It shouldn't move when you walk or morph something close to your size.}

The bandolier was heavier than I first thought. My hearts throbbed when I settled it over my shoulder, buckled it under my other arm and pulled the strap until the whole thing fit snugly to my body. The shredder pistol was the same model I used on my own for target practice, but this one proved to be in far better condition.

{Thank you, Captain.} I said.

{You're welcome.} Rubliss replied warmly. {Elfangor was never wrong about a person. He always knew where to find potential. He would be proud to see you right now.}

Again, I thanked him. What else could I say that didn't sound too arrogant or immature?

I wanted to say more, but Rubliss reached into a secondary panel and pulled out a small vial of thick liquid. {This is Hork-Bajir blood. Are you morph capable?}

{Yes, but I only have a _Kafit_ bird morph.}

{Then you will need to acquire this DNA.}

Touching alien blood didn't appeal to me, but I made myself do it. I dipped my finger into the viscous mixture and felt the DNA become part of myself.

Hoofbeats shattered the quiet. More soldiers were boarding the _SkyWarrior_. Technicians moved from bulkhead to bulkhead, checking all systems to ensure the ship was in flying order. Everyone looked serious. And the _arisths_ -you could always tell them apart from others by their size and how they held their tails-gazed around in wonder.

{I will not grant you any special treatment, Semeir. You are crew, nothing more.}

My resolve hardened. This was what I wanted. The path wouldn't be pretty, but nobody got ahead in life by taking the easy way.

Standing up straighter, I clicked my hooves and stiffly brought my hand vertically against my forehead, directly between my main eyes. Then I lowered it quickly to my side-the Andalite salute.

{Dismissed.} Rubliss said in a tone more formal than before. That was Rubliss the ship's Captain.

I walked alone to the dome. Dashed across the grass like I used to with Elfangor...but it didn't feel the same. I slowed to a trot and examined the dome.

It was a smaller dome than most others with only bland red and pale blue grass to eat. A thin running stream ran along the outer edge. There were only two small _derrishoul_ trees. That made the dome seem somehow bare.

I could just make out my reflection in the dome's glass. My fur was still the same _derrishoul_ tree shade of purple. Mother always thought it would darken as I aged, but time proved her wrong. My main eyes stayed large and golden as ever. Even my tailblade grew a few inches, and was almost the size of an adult male's. I still don't know what genetic throwback gave me such a huge blade, but I no longer saw it as a clumsy, ugly hindrance.

My body wasn't a child's anymore. I looked...strong. I hardly recognized myself with the gray bandolier strapped across my torso.

Hooves pounded into the dome behind me. A prince released two _arisths_ to graze before launch. I paid no mind until my stalk eyes spotted long, untrimmed fur growing around the hooves. The legs attached to those hooves were long and strong. Blinking, I let my gaze wander upwards over the male's mature, muscular torso and the scar on the side of his neck.

He noticed me at the same time.

{Semeir?}

I turned around to focus all four eyes on him. {Leehan?}

I hadn't seen Leehan in years! He was almost fully grown and looked every bit like a soldier worthy of the Andalite army.

{By the Ellimist, you look different.} Leehan said, and he sounded like a typical, arrogant prince. I'd thought the years would have loosened his dislike of me, but I was proven wrong. The cold look in his narrowed main eyes said it all. {I guess you sweet-talked Rubliss into letting you tag along.}

I frowned. Leehan's veiled mocking only hardened my resolve to prove I belonged here, too.

And he didn't scare me like he used to. He was not nearly as tall as Elfangor. When I walked closer to him, we were the same height. Males had a longer growth period than females-he'd probably surpass my height in a few more years-but right now I enjoyed knowing he no longer towered over me.

I looked Leehan square in the main eyes.

{You don't scare me, Leehan.}

He scoffed. {Elfangor isn't here to protect you anymore.}

{I can protect myself.} I said back. {Mock me all you want, but you'll see just how strong I am soon enough.}

Leehan laughed. He walked away. {I have a rank here. Remember that, Semeir.}

 __

Just you wait! I snarled silently at his retreating back. {Hey, Leehan!}

He paused without turning around.

I said, {If Elfangor was still alive right now, we would be married.}

He didn't move for a moment. When he did, it was slower than before. I knew I'd taken ammunition out of his arsenal of insults. He had nothing to use against me-not my size, my age or my tailblade. He could only pull rank, and I had a feeling Rubliss wouldn't let him get away with it.

I hoped it wouldn't come to that. People fought my battles for me most of my life. This time, I wanted to win on my own.

I faced the glass again and tried to clear my head. I couldn't have Leehan clouding my thoughts when I'd have other, more important concerns.

{All non-essential personnel, please disembark. The _SkyWarrior_ will be taking off in thirty minutes.}

{Aw, yeah! Our first real mission!} One of the _arisths_ said to his friend. He was a tiny, fresh-faced boy barely as tall as my shoulder. He glanced at his smaller companion. {Jastal, can you believe it? We're gonna burn some slugs!}

{I know,} crowed the shorter _aristh_. {Hey, Korripin, look at the female.}

The bigger youth, Jastal, gestured to me. {Look at the female's _tailblade_.}

{I think it's _her!_ } squeaked Korripin.

{Huh?}

{ _Her!_ She flew missions with Elfangor.}

{Ohh! Her!}

{I have a name.} I turned around to face them both. {I am Semeir, and I plan to become a warrior just like the two of you will someday be.}

Both _arisths_ stared at me as if I had ten heads. I wasn't surprised-many people had similar reactions when I told them my plans for the future.

Before we could say anything further, Captain Rubliss' gentle thoughtspeak came over the com system.

{This is your Captain speaking. I know this is the first mission for a lot of you. I expect nothing but the best.}

He paused, letting it sink in.

{We will be heading for sector seven, BSG-two-six-ten-eight. Our target is the planet's rocky moon. The Visser there is responsible for the assassination of an Andalite spy. He is guarding a large base containing stolen information. We have reason to believe they are using this information-this technology-to build a weapon. Our mission is to gain intelligence and take that base out. This will remove a big tactical advantage from the Yeerks. All _arisths_ must report to their commanding princes. Thank you, my friends, and good luck.}

Electricity flooded my bloodstream. Rubliss knew what he was doing when he worked me into the ranks on this mission. It meant more to me than just the chance to prove myself.

I was going to look Visser Ten in the eyes and make him regret killing my family.


	12. Map of a Dream Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 11

Chapter 11

.o

Z-space is as bland and boring as a desert. Elfangor once said dreams are born in Z-space. I'd looked for those elusive dreams while aboard the _DoomBlade_ so long ago. I saw white, white and more white. Nothing else. Not a black star, not even debris. Then Elfangor held my hand, and I realized my dream was right next to me.

On the _SkyWarrior_ , I had no hand to hold. I think that hurt more than the blankness outside.

It would take a day to reach sector seven. I spent a lot of it on the bridge amongst the highest ranking officers surrounding Captain Rubliss.

Captain Rubliss didn't let me stand idle. He gave me jobs to do. He forced me to use the skills Elfangor taught me.

I watched the radar for any morphed mass in our path. I helped keep the ship from veering off course. I even got to test the weapons systems. Every task tore my nerves apart because none left any margin for error. I had more to lose than anyone else on that bridge.

And I got to see just why Rubliss was the ship's Captain.

One of the princes mocked a seemingly unimportant sensor sweep. Though he was not tall, Captain Rubliss pinned that soldier with a look so icy that my own hooves nearly froze to the metal floor.

{Estorin, you _will_ run that sensor sweep.} Rubliss stated. Not angrily, his thoughtspeak was as cool as an ice cap, but his main eyes practically glowed neon green.

The prince, Estorin, a large, brutish male, cringed. He did the sensor sweep and avoided Rubliss' gaze.

Rubliss turned to the wiry figure flying the ship.

{Corwald, what is our location?}

{Exiting Z-space now, sir!}

{Visual.}

A holographic display appeared in the center of the room. Z-space's blank whiteness abruptly melted into the starry blackness of regular space. The nebula with its central stars arranged in a trapezoid shape filled the background. Closer still, less than a million miles away, was a "small" purple gas giant orbited by a rocky blue-gray moon barely one-tenth its size. The moon had a blue atmosphere and vaguely reminded me of Earth, the planet Elfangor told me so much about.

Only this moon had a two large land-masses surrounded by oceans. It didn't look Yeerk-infested at all, but I knew looks were deceiving. The smaller western landmass contained our target.

{Pilots, get to your fighters. The Yeerks know we're here. They're going to be saying 'hello' pretty soon. Ground soldiers-} Rubliss' gaze focused specifically on me, {Get to your drop pods and prepare to disembark!}

The bridge became a stampede of hooves racing to their proper places. Only three Andalites could fit per pod, and only three pods were going to land unless backup was needed. Would nine total ground troops be enough?

Drop pods were a relatively new thing. So new, in fact, that they didn't exist yet when I toured the _DoomBlade_.

Spherical in shape with six correcting thrusters arranged like spokes, four landing legs, three emergency parachutes and cloaking technology that made their descent difficult to detect on scanners, they proved a quick way to transport Andalites from the ship to the surface of a planet.

I wound up in the cramped circular vessel with Leehan and the youngest _aristh_ on the ship.

Jastal looked pale. Like an Andalite who hadn't eaten in several weeks. I felt sorry for him.

{Hey.} I said.

His large eyes focused on me. I could see him trembling. He was just a child barely out of schooling, and it seemed so wrong to see someone that young thrust into this horrible war.

I hoped that by joining the effort, I could take the place of at least one child who shouldn't be there.

{It's okay to be scared.} I told him. {Just don't let _them_ see it. Show no fear, all right?}

I couldn't believe myself. I sounded like Elfangor.

{No fear.} Jastal repeated.

{Semeir, don't put ideas into my _aristh's_ head,} Leehan sneered over private thoughtspeak.

{He's terrified!} I said back with equal venom. {Have a little compassion!}

{Compassion is for _females_.}

My spine stiffened. {Oh, what? That makes me weaker?}

Leehan's main eyes narrowed. {It might. Don't lose your focus now, Semeir. Pod release in three, two, one...}

THUNK!

The pod suddenly shot into space with a jerk. I gripped the hand rail on the side before my hooves could slip on the smooth metal floor. Jastal scrambled for purchase. Leehan squared his stance and held onto the railing.

Freefalling gave way to weightlessness. I felt my hooves rise off the floor!

{...I'm not going to hand feed anything to my _arisths_. I haven't done any ground missions either. It's a first for all of us. I don't want this one,} he nodded towards Jastal, {to get soft because of you. This is _war_. Either you can take it, or you can't.}

{Concept, Leehan: we're in this together. Maybe we should _work_ together.}

He rolled his eyes, all four of them. {You might slit my throat again.}

I balked at him. {That was an _accident_ , and you know it!}

Leehan's nostrils flared when he snorted. He turned his head and ignored me.

Jastal grasped the railing with both hands. He didn't look ready for this at all, yet his eyes had a determined fire behind them. He wanted to succeed and impress his commanding officer, and I silently wished him well.

Captain Rubliss hailed everyone. {Ground soldiers, check in!}

{Odekkis, checking in. In the process of morphing.}

{Margof, checking in, also morphing.}

{Trithos present. Morphing.}

{Korjig here. Will morph on the ground.}

{This is Leehan. I'll morph on the ground.}

{Semeir, checking in. I'll morph upon landing, too.}

{Acknowledged,} said Captain Rubliss. {Fighter pilots are in position. You have air cover. _Arisths_ ,} his tone became friendlier, {Listen to your princes. Good luck, little ones.}

Jastal held his head a little higher. He fought down a smile.

So did I.

And Korjig was in this group. The same two people who tormented me would be witnesses if I succeeded today.

FWOOSH-FWOOSH! FWOOSH-FWOOSH! FWOOSH-FWOOSH!

I felt a jerk when the pod's deceleration thrusters kicked in. The weightlessness ended and my hooves touched down again.

A small readout on the wall fed us information about our location, altitude and the presence of the other three pods.

{Atmosphere is breathable,} I reported to everyone. {Touchdown in three, two, one...}

CLUNK!

Gentler than I expected.

{Jastal, you remain near the pod. _Do not_ , under any circumstances, engage the enemy. Your fellow _arisths_ are receiving the same orders. You're in charge of jamming any communications coming from the Yeerk base. Can you stay on top of their signal?}

Jastal's shoulders squared. He saluted. {Yes, Prince Leehan!}

{And why are we blocking the signal?}

{Sir! To prevent their bug fighters from receiving orders. Yeerks have an abundance of untrained pilots who rely on superior officers.}

{Excellent.}

Leehan's stalk eyes formed a cold smile. I felt sick inside. That poor _aristh_ was going to be stuck here all alone on a Yeerk-infested planet. But he'd be safer in the pod than in the middle of a firefight, and I knew one would break out once the Yeerks realized we were here.

POW!

The hatch spiraled open to a sunny, cold world covered in dirt and thorny, poisonous-looking blue trees stretching as high as the volcanic cliffs up ahead. We'd landed far in the foliage near the ocean. Salty water lapped my hooves and left frothy foam behind. I closed my hooves so I wouldn't accidentally ingest the wet, clumpy white sand.

Leehan sneered {Jastal, be careful. The plants may be poisonous.}

The young _aristh_ nodded and kept his hooves firmly on the sand.

The blue trees were thick, obscuring most of the Yeerk base from view. Bright purple bushes grew in tangles all over the rocks. Each purple bush had clusters of red tube-shaped flowers that dripped acidic nectar into the sand. Their stinging scent filled most of the shoreline.

I saw the moon's parent planet as a hazy purple dome rising on my left. It took up most of the pale horizon. The system's distant sun was just a fingertip-sized point, but its blue-white light shone harshly on the landscape. It took my eyes a moment to acclimate.

I pushed a power cell into the handle of my shredder with the heel of my hand and set it to level two. Just enough to knock somebody out. Then I twirled it around my fingertip and replaced it in its holster.

Everything Elfangor taught me raced across my brain. Those years I spent with him, loving and learning, all led up to this mission. For better or worse, my life changed here.

Two pods sat on either side of mine. Morphed Andalites emerged as Hork-Bajir. I waited for my cue to morph. Waiting to morph on the ground prevented us all from disappearing at the same time to demorph and remorph.

Looking to my left, I saw Leehan changing shape. He was a grotesque mix of Andalite and Hork-Bajir. Having not seen many people morph, I just stared. Blades formed on his arms and legs. His front legs were sucked up somewhere into his torso and his tail and rear legs grew thicker. His metallic blue fur melted into greenish-brown scales. I saw his stalk eyes harden into three forward sweeping horns on his forehead. His bandolier stayed perfectly in place. They were made to survive most morphs.

I looked away. I didn't want to see more.

"Good to go. Semeir? Start morphing." Leehan spoke awkwardly through his Hork-Bajir beak. "And don't wimp out."

Of course he'd leave me with something stinging. He turned away and raced to join the other morphed Andalites closing in on the cliffs up ahead.

I fixed my stalk eyes on Jastal. {No fear,} I reminded him.

{No fear.} He replied.

With that, I focused on the Hork-Bajir and let my body morph. I'm no _estreen_ , and my stalk eyes were the first thing to become two forward-tilted horns. I felt blind, vulnerable, when I could only see in one direction. My internal organs shifted-a nauseating sensation that didn't quite hurt. Blades grew out of my arms, which lengthened at the same time as my hind legs. I pitched forward. Balanced on those strong arms as my forelegs shrank away and my tail became the thick tail of a Hork-Bajir. A beak split my face apart. My senses became highly attuned to the trees and the wind.

I stood up for the first time on two legs. Off-balance, I used my tail to hold me upright until the Hork-Bajir's sense of balance took over. I glanced down. The bandolier hadn't broken. I tried grabbing the shredder to make sure I'd still be able to do so with my new, awkward hands.

I could do it. Barely.

The others who already morphed were making their way forward. I wasn't sure which was Leehan anymore, but I could tell every Hork-Bajir morph had unique skin patterns. We'd all been given blood from different Hork-Bajir to avoid tipping the Yeerks off that we were Andalites in morph. I couldn't tell much of a difference, but the Hork-Bajir Controllers definitely would.

"This is Korjig! All forces check in!" A radio on my belt crackled.

Korjig! I wish I'd seen him before he morphed. I looked around until I spotted a speckled Hork-Bajir crouched near a tree, holding his radio awkwardly in his claws.

The small Hork-Bajir just ahead of me grabbed his handheld device. "Margof, present. Zent. Preh."

" _Don't_ fool with your mouth!" Korjig snapped. "Continue check-in."

A Hork-Bajir kneeling ten feet from the entrance: "Odekkis, present!"

"Leehan, present," said the Hork-Bajir near the tree just ahead of me.

The one beside Leehan spoke, "Trithos, present!"

I lifted my radio. "Semeir, present."

Nobody groaned, thankfully, but I saw a few soldiers wag their heads in disdain.

If Korjig was surprised, he didn't show it.

" _Arisths,_ check in!"

{ _Aristh_ Jastal, present!}

{ _Aristh_ Korripin, present!}

{ _Aristh_ Esgarrouth, present!}

"We are going to radio silence. Keep your frequencies tuned to emergency thoughtspeak only. _Arisths_ , you are ordered to return to the planet in two hours, with or without us. And you know what to do if your pods are boarded."

I didn't even _think_ about that. The idea of self-destructing those pods sickened me. They were children!

"Fall in!" Korjig announced. The radio crackled as he set it to silent mode.

I did the same, but my stomach was twisting. In an unfamiliar body on an unfamiliar world, I just hoped I'd be able to pull this mission off.

It wasn't easy to walk on two legs when I always had four. But I remembered the Hork-Bajir I've seen before, and imitating their natural posture proved easier than I first thought. Their two legs were strong. Hork-Bajir are built for climbing and swinging.

I followed the other morphed Andalites into the darkened cave entrance. My heart almost stopped. There were dozens of other Controllers milling about!

Korjig lifted his large Hork-Bajir hand and made a fist, signaling for silence. Then he spread his fingers. We were supposed to fan out and blend in like we belonged. I saw Controllers wearing bandoliers similar to ours, except theirs had Dracon pistols in the holsters. You couldn't tell the two weapons apart unless you looked close. Shredders had green triggers and Dracon pistols had red buttons.

I felt my throat work in a strange muscle contraction known as "swallowing." It seemed to be a nervous reflex related to the Hork-Bajir body. Not having vision in all directions was so disconcerting. To look around a corner, I had to lean and potentially expose myself for an attack. How do creatures with only two eyes survive?

 __

No fear. I told myself.

The blood rushed through my ears when I stepped in line with a dozen Hork-Bajir. Everybody was moving crates and metal boxes of equipment. I need to see exactly what they were receiving, yet opening a crate in plain sight would be fatal. I was a drone, a worker, nothing more.

I picked up a crate. Hefted it to my shoulder like I saw the others doing. Followed the Hork-Bajir in front of me into a darker cavern.

"You!" A voice called. I kept walking. Footsteps ran up behind me. "You!"

I was suddenly looking into the eyes of a Controller taller than myself. "Me?"

"Designation."

Thoughts reeled over my mind. "Espar Five-Four-One." I blurted. "I am new to this body."

Very new. Speech felt strange. The vibrations, the movements of my tongue and beak-I didn't like it much.

The other Controller looked me up and down. He pointed to the crate in my hands. "Learn to read! Plasma coils go to the next corridor."

Then he left me there, and I released the breath I was holding. My abdominal area felt unpleasantly fluttery and my legs quivered. I shook the strange sensations off. If I didn't act like a Yeerk infested host, I was dead. I heaved the box back onto my shoulder, turned left and entered the corridor pointed out to me.

Leehan-I think-appeared behind me carrying an identical crate. We ducked through a low corridor and emerged into a larger cavern.

The walls had been smoothed to make room for a glowing computer console. It looked like something the Skrit Na might come up with: Wires everywhere, buttons that didn't match and panels hastily welded together. Whoever built this didn't plan to stay here long.

"It's Leehan." The other Hork-Bajir whispered. Or as much as he could in that body. Vocal speech doesn't allow for private thoughtspeak. "The others are in different caverns. We need to find the pool and any clues to what they're hiding here."

"All right. I'll-"

I froze. Something on the console caught my eye.

Parts of Step-Father's computer were used to build this monstrosity. His computer had extremely valuable Andalite data mixed into his logs about his assignments. The screen ran streams of text, numbers and schematics. I saw plans for something massive deep beneath the planet.

"Semeir!"

"Leehan, they have my step-father's computer."

"So?"

I shuddered. "He was a spy. The Yeerks assassinated him because they caught on to who he was. Because he knew their plans, and they didn't want him to reveal them to our people."

I wanted to examine the system. But we had already been in the room far too long. Other Yeerks would get suspicious.

"You go out there and pass this on to the others if you can." I said stonily. "I'm going to keep grabbing plasma coils as an excuse to come back here. If I can find out what and where this thing is-"

"You'll report back to Rubliss." Leehan cut me off. He narrowed his red eyes at me.

I nodded.

"Fine. But don't give me any more orders. And if a Hork-Bajir hip bumps you on the way by, it's one of us in morph."

"How can you tell it's me?"

"You have a female Hork-Bajir morph. Females have two horns. Males have three."

Then Leehan flounced out, and I waited thirty seconds before following. I felt so foolish, not knowing male Hork-Bajir from females. They all looked alike!

I followed other Controllers to the crates. Thank the stars for my brushing up on _Galard_ -I could read the labels and pick up the plasma coils. I made another trip into the computer room. I set the crate down and checked the corridor. Nobody was coming.

I faced the console again. The menus onscreen, like the computer itself, were a mix of languages. Mostly _Galard_ and Andalite. And the owners clearly did _not_ speak Andalite very well. I struggled through incorrectly labeled screens for what seemed like hours. At last, I found a long list of the supplies being sent to this moon.

Stolen plasma coils. Various fuels. Elements I guess couldn't be mined naturally. Food for the host bodies and more portable pools for the Yeerks.

Sounds in the corridor snapped me back to alert. I blanked the screen and pretended to be struggling with my crate. In my haste, I accidentally jammed a wrist-blade into the lid. The blade went in as easily as a tailblade cutting flesh.

The Controller who corrected me before slid into the computer room. He glared at me.

"You take too long!"

"I am caught on the crate." I said.

"Idiot. Flaran Two-Four-Nine, do this. Do that." He muttered to himself. Then he freed my wrist with a jerk of his hand. "You should be in a Gedd."

"Don't insult me." I spat back.

Flaran, as he called himself, glared at me. Hateful. Cruel. I pitied the screaming Hork-Bajir trapped in the Yeerk's clutches. Many would probably die today, and there was nothing I could do.

"I am new to this body. I am new to this Visser."

"Oh, then welcome to misery. Visser Ten is arrogant. He is Visser Ten because the other Visser Ten went insane and got himself killed. The new Visser Ten wants to be Visser One, and he'll do anything to-"

CRUNCH!

Blood splattered all over me before I saw what happened. Flaran's Hork-Bajir body slumped lifelessly to the ground. Without a head. I heard the wet crackling of a reptilian foot crushing the head beneath its claws.

"Flaran Two-Four-Nine loved to talk too much," said a new Controller. A tall, scarred Hork-Bajir missing the tip of one forehead blade. He smiled at me and my blood froze into sludge. "He was jealous. He wasn't even a sub-visser, and I got promoted overnight. You're new, I assume?"

 __

Say something! I urged myself.

"Fresh off the pool ship." I said. "This is my first Hork-Bajir host."

"And your name is? Oh, never mind. Your name isn't important. I need more plasma coils. Hurry up."

Visser Ten pushed past me, and I swear on my family's lives that I wished a touch could kill a Yeerk. The icy, seething hatred blew like a maelstrom across my mind. Terror followed on its heels. This Yeerk killed my family. This Yeerk could have me infested, or kill me, too. I couldn't give myself away. Not yet.

Every ounce of self control I had was focused on walking towards the doorway. I stepped out, turned around and poked my head back inside.

Visser Ten never checked over his shoulder. He made a log entry. Then he picked up one of the crates of plasma coils and stepped on a hidden button in the floor. The rocky ground beneath me vibrated as stone grated on crude tracks. A secret entranceway opened up by the computer panel.

I darted down the corridor and into the crowd. Gedds, Hork-Bajir Controllers and the occasional Taxxon shuffled by me.

And I waited.

Finally, one of the Hork Bajir bumped my hip as he passed. I grabbed the crate next to his. "Which are you?"

"Odekkis," he whispered back. His morph had dark markings under the left eye.

"Get us somewhere quiet. Urgent."

We both had crates of salvaged computer parts. I followed Odekkis into a dark, enclosed space still wet with Taxxon slime. It hadn't been dug out for long.

"Visser Ten has a hidden doorway in the plasma coil room. He also has information on his computer, but I'm not fast enough to get to it all without getting caught." I paused for breath. "He has something big here. We absolutely can't leave without finding out what it is."

"I've been a hacker since I was an _aristh_. I can handle the computer. I need to report to Prince Korjig about this. Nice job getting that info. Let's-"

More Gedds shuffled in.

Odekkis hardened his voice. "Let's move faster!" Then he gave me a gentle slap to the side of my face.

I pretended I'd been hit. Then I hung my head and slunk out of the dank, slimy cavern. Odekkis shoved past me to grab a crate of plasma coils. I glimpsed him hip bumping other morphed members of our landing team and passing on the info.

We spent a long time merely blending in. Waiting was agony.

Finally, I saw Odekkis go back into the computer room. I joined him.

"We have used sixty percent of our morph time." He said. He'd already bypassed the computer menus and delved deep into schematics. "Margof is going to keep watch outside the door."

"What about Leehan, Trithos and Korjig?"

"They're trying to locate the pool. It's probably on the lower-" Odekkis refocused on the screen. "Whoa!"

I shot a nervous glance at the door. "'Whoa' what?"

He said, "They built something huge underground. Look at this!"

I turned to the console to examine the schematics. The ship looked like five elongated tetrahedrons-two joined end to end with three more supporting the connected pair. If I read right, this monster of a ship was as long as two Dome ships! The frontal point sported a massive Dracon cannon. I mean _massive_.

This device wouldn't just ignite the atmosphere and incinerate everything. It was made to punch through a planet's outer layers and disintegrate the core. Without its core, the planet would collapse in on itself under its own gravity. Removing the _entire planet_ from its solar system with no hope of life ever returning.

I was staring at a true planet killer.

The design had definite Andalite origins. Years ago, I overheard Step-Father saying the plans were brought up after the loss of the Hork-Bajir world, but the plans were buried in favor of the "merciful" Quantum virus.

Once upon a time, my own people considered building a weapon of mass destruction far worse than a mere virus.

Not even Elfangor knew what I now knew.

I was sick inside. Odekkis looked ready to faint.

Somebody honestly thought about building this thing to destroy the Yeerk homeworld. Millions of innocents would be dead along with the guilty.

Now the Yeerks had it, and I knew my home planet was their first target.

Visser Ten wanted glory. He wanted to be the Yeerk who destroyed the Andalites. He wanted to be the Yeerk who sought out and infested the remaining population still loose in the stars.

Odekkis and Morgof scrambled away from the cavern opening while I examined the schematics. The planet killer was armed beyond imagining. Dracon beam turrets stuck out like spines along its edges. Its primary weapon was contained behind heavy armor and had to expose itself to fire. A weapon that strong would require insane amounts of power. Striking by surprise was its only option. It had a weakness. It couldn't fire if a fleet was waiting to stop it the moment it exited Z-space.

But could this weakness be capitalized fast enough to prevent the destruction of entire worlds?

I tried to stay calm and collected. Warriors don't let others see their panic.

"Odekkis, we have to get back to Rubliss. He needs this information."

"I'm downloading it now." Odekkis held a purple strip in his hand. Inside it, a stack of data disks capable of holding terabytes of information. He placed it into a memory slot near the screen. "This is the data stick. Pull it out when it's done. I dropped in a virus that will destroy the computer as soon as the data stick disengages. Get ready to RUN-the virus is going to shut off the artificial Kandrona generators. The Yeerks will know we're h- Semeir! What are you doing?"

I was in the process of demorphing. My stalk eyes and tail formed first, and I felt a sickening slosh as my internal organs rearranged. Feeling a second heart in your belly is a disconcerting sensation. Thankfully, the rest of my lower half formed and the heart moved to its proper position. When I finished, I adjusted my bandolier strap.

{If this turns into a fight, I'd rather be myself. Keep the other Controllers from bringing more plasma coils in here.}

"Be careful!" Odekkis said.

{No fear.} I said back.

"Speak for yourself."

Then he was gone.

RRRRUMBLE.

I scrambled between the computer console and the far wall. Shadows were my only cover. I peeked just one stalk eye around the computer.

Visser Ten emerged from the hidden wall. He headed straight into the corridor without looking at the computer. A good thing. He would have seen the data stick. After his footsteps faded, I rushed to watch the download countdown on the screen. My stalk eyes focused on the doorway.

Ten seconds.

Five seconds.

One second.

Complete!

I yanked the data stick out of the slot and stashed it in a pouch on my bandolier. The screen flickered. Text scrolled left to right as the virus corrupted and deleted everything in the database.

Footsteps clambered down the corridor.

{Odekkis, we need to-}

"Andalite!"

TSEEWW!

I ducked. The computer console smoked, its screen melting in the heat.

TSEEWW!

Again, I dodged. Barely. My eyes were all half-blinded by the sudden bright light.

I accidentally stepped on the trigger for the hidden door. Without a second thought, I plunged through. My hooves clattered on the uneven rocky floor. I was galloping down a long corridor lit only by poisonous looking green lamps on the walls.

RRRRUMBLE.

"You have nowhere to hide, Andalite."

Hork-Bajir didn't have great vision in the dark. It was the only advantage I could press.

I reached the end of the rocky corridor. My pursuer wasn't far behind. I rounded the corner and dashed between two piles of crates. Behind me was a pile of stacked fire retardant tanks.

No time to turn around. I knelt to lower my profile. The cold ground stung against my underbelly. I pulled my shredder out of its holster and checked its setting. Still on stun. Good. I adjusted my grip just like Elfangor taught me. The shredder was an extension of my arm.

Then, I used my stalk eyes to look around.

This wasn't a Yeerk pool. I didn't hear any screams. Just clanking. The side of something dark silver jutted over a sheer rocky cliff burned into the cavern floor.

The planet killer! Right there in front of me!

Above it, I barely made out the seam of bay doors. The underground of the moon had been converted into a sort of space station. Hidden in plain sight beneath the continent!

The Controller stepped cautiously into the open. He was missing the tip of a horn.

Visser Ten!

He appeared surprised. I guess he expected me to be standing there.

"I remember you, Andalite girl." He said in his guttural Hork-Bajir voice. "Yes, I remember now. The spy's daughter. Naskor, was it? I caught him changing his shape, but I didn't tell him. I let him think he kept his cover. I watched every communication. I saw every piece of data he stole. He was so eager to get home to his little family. He didn't watch his back. And I made him pay."

Hot rage boiled behind my sternum. I didn't make a sound. Visser Ten wanted me to leap out and attack him.

He tried another tactic.

"I spoke to Visser Three recently. He said Elfangor begged for mercy. He said the great hero of your people begged for his life all the way to the end."

 __

How did he know about that? No, don't react. He's lying. He's acting like a bully. Don't react...

I focused instead on the fire retardant tanks. Long, silver cylinders piled horizontally in a pyramid pattern to prevent them rolling away.

Visser Ten looked this way and that. He walked right past my hiding place. His frustration became evident.

"Foolish girl! What good will hiding do you?"

Silently as I could, I stood up. Visser Ten would have seen me if he had stalk eyes of his own. I threw my weight forward onto my front legs. My back hooves lashed backwards in a double barrel kick.

WHAM!

BONG-BONG-BONG! BOONG! BING! BONG! BEENG! CLUNK!

The whole pile of tanks crashed into Visser Ten. He fell facedown with a shout. I leapt over him, stumbling on the tanks in my haste to reach a more maneuverable position.

I heard the tanks roll aside. I was almost to the exit corridor.

TSEEWW!

A light fixture exploded!

I returned fire!

TSEEEW!

Missed!

RRRRUMBLE!

Scrapscrapscrape...

I kept three eyes on Visser Ten. The other looked into the corridor.

Taxxons! Walking nightmares! Three of them burst out of the near darkness. All I saw were round, toothy mouths bearing down on me.

{AAH!} I barely avoided the first Taxxon's hungry mouth.

TSEEWW!

Visser Ten's shot was too far left. It hit the Taxxon trying to attack me. The disgusting creature broke open like a bloated waste bag. Red and purple gore spilled out all over the cave floor. His fellow Taxxons lunged to devour the mess.

Two more Taxxons rushed into the cavern. The two feasting on their friend faced me. I was surrounded. But Visser Ten didn't have a clear shot. He didn't even have his Dracon beam weapon out anymore.

No.

Visser Ten wanted to see me eaten alive.


	13. Map of a Dream Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 12

Chapter 12

.o

All around, gelatinous red eyes focused on my face. My body. They wanted the blood roaring through my veins. They wanted my beating hearts. They wanted the muscles on my bones.

I felt a deadly calm rise over the throbbing terror in my hearts. It occurred to me that I wasn't in training now. This wouldn't end if I made a mistake. My moment had come.

I had to fight or die.

I chose to _fight_.

"SSREEEE-WAAAAAA!"

The first Taxxon charged.

{AAAAH!}

FWAPP!

I opened him up.

Down he went.

The others closed in, shrieking with their awful Taxxon voices.

My conscious mind shut down.

I ducked low and swung my tail in a perfect loop around me.

FWOOOSH-WOOSH-FWAPP!

Taxxon guts sprayed everywhere. Dead, writhing bodies fell at my hooves.

As I rose up, I aimed my shredder at Visser Ten and fired!

TSEEEW!

I got him!

Visser Ten slumped to the ground, stunned but not dead.

I approached the downed Hork-Bajir. His red eyes focused on me. They were full of terror.

And for a moment-just a _moment_ -I relished it.

{You killed my family.} I said to him. {I saw you do it. And right now, I'd just love to see your head roll across the floor.}

He barked a laugh. "What stops you, Andalite filth?"

The rage built in me before I could stop it. My tail quivered. I heard myself scream and-

FWAPP!

-left Visser Ten staring at the point of my tailblade. I let him see how big it was.

He stared. Blinked. Whimpered.

I felt something wet and warm under my hooves. It made me glad I closed them to liquids.

He'd urinated.

{I'm not a Yeerk.} I said.

I smacked him with the side of my tailblade. Knocked him senseless. Disarmed him of his Dracon beam weapon.

RRRRUMBLE.

Clopclop-clopclop!

{Semeir!} Leehan burst into the cavern. He froze.

What a sight I had to be.

Me, covered in Taxxon gore. Visser Ten on the ground at my hooves.

Leehan shook it off. {We have to get out of here. They're preparing for takeoff. The engines from that thing will fry us both!}

{What about the Visser?}

{Never mind!}

"You haven't won, Andalites!" Visser Ten groaned.

More Taxxons and two Hork-Bajir raced into the cavern with us. Leehan pulled his shredder and arched his tail. He did fantastic at looking calm. I knew he was anything but-just like me.

The Taxxons charged!

Leehan's tail swung in a graceful arc and two Taxxons fell in heaps. He fired his shredder and the other two collapsed. One bit him on the way down.

The Hork-Bajir Controllers were cowards-they ran!

"Weaklings!" Visser Ten snarled. "I'll destroy you both!"

He dove at me. I lost my grip on my shredder. It bounced off my hoof and landed on one of the rolling pallets that transport cargo. Desperate, I tossed his Dracon weapon away, and the fool ran to grab it! I can't believe it!

I ran for my shredder.

Leehan took a shot. It hit Visser Ten's shoulder. The Controller didn't even flinch.

{Semeir!} He yelled.

My stalk eyes swiveled. Visser Ten was taking aim at Leehan.

I stomped on the corner of the pallet. It flipped over, flinging my shredder into the air. I caught it, whipped around and fired. So did Leehan!

Visser Ten dropped with serious burns on his neck and abdomen.

Leehan fell to his knees.

I forgot about Visser Ten and rushed to Leehan. He was badly hurt. The flesh on his flank was torn open by the Taxxon bite. It would lead to infection without treatment.

{Leehan! Can you get up?}

{Give me a moment.} He said.

I shut out his cries of pain when he forced his body upright. He couldn't bear any weight on his left hind leg. Without a thought I slipped my former bully's arm around my shoulders and we ran as one into the long corridor. Not as fast as I could run alone, but faster than Leehan with that wound.

{We have to get back to the _SkyWarrior_.} I said.

{Korjig sent me after you. He said he saw dozens of Controllers take off into a corridor nobody saw earlier. They're going to fly that thing!}

The ground vibrated. Like something massive bringing its engines online.

I gasped. {Oh no...}

Margof met us on the other side of the secret door. Also back in Andalite form-he was taller and stronger than me. He took over propping Leehan up. {Get to your pod, Semeir. Odekkis told me you have valuable data. It must reach Rubliss no matter what.}

{Will you be okay? Where are Korjig and Trithos?}

{They're waiting for us, now go!}

The cavern started to collapse! I saw rocks and equipment falling!

CRUNCH! THUNK! KA-BAM! KROOSH!

I galloped like I've never done before. Full tilt, arms back like I was racing a ghost. Dodging falling debris as I went. I tripped, fell, got up and continued until I emerged into daylight.

The moon was sliding behind its parent planet. In moments it would be dark.

I raced the shadows to the thick trees where we landed. Jastal stood outside the pod. Pale. Scared. I probably didn't help by running up to him covered in Taxxon goop.

Korjig waited next to Esgarrouth. He looked exactly as I remembered him, save his fur was shaggier and his tailblade finally caught up to his size.

{Semeir!} Jastal ran towards me. {Are you okay? What happened?}

{Major things.} I said, panting. I heard more hooves in the sand behind me and turned my stalk eyes to look.

{Come on!} Trithos pushed Jastal into the pod and gestured at me. I hopped in and the door thumped shut.

Through the tiny porthole of a window, I saw Margof and Korripin help Leehan into another pod.

Korjig and Odekkis joined Esgarrouth.

Good. All present and accounted for. Just in time, too.

TSEEWW! TSEEWW!

Controllers with Dracon beams fired on our pods!

{Get us out of here!} I screamed.

Jastal punched in the code. {Takeoff commencing.}

Nobody told me drop pods had a nasty kick. I almost broke all four legs under the sudden G-forces. Jastal didn't fare much better, but Trithos stayed stable on his thin legs.

At first, I thought Trithos was pale from fear. On closer inspection I realized he just had very light blue fur.

{Oh, wow.} Jastal peered out the porthole. {Look!}

The mountains on the continent crumbled before my eyes. It looked like an invisible giant stomping them flat. That was all I saw before clouds blocked my view. I put it out of my mind and took out the data stick.

I could still see the haunting images. The planet killer, its strengths and weaknesses. I began formulating countermeasures even as the drop pod raced to dock with the _SkyWarrior_.

I pressed the communications button. {Margof! How is Leehan?}

{He'll be okay. Stop worrying!}

Males! So frustrating!

{I've sighted the _SkyWarrior_.} Korripin said. {Jastal, do you have a visual?}

{Affirmative. Esgarrouth?}

{Visual acquired. Line up for docking.}

I smiled as the _arisths_ communicated. No doubt they ached to return home and chatter excitedly about their adventures. I knew they would make fine warriors in a couple more years.

{I should let you know. Jastal is my little brother.} Trithos said to me. He touched tailblades with Jastal. {And I'm proud of him today.}

{Trithos!} Jastal groaned. {You said you weren't going to tell anybody.}

{I'm great at keeping secrets.} I winked.

Our pod docked with a hard thump. It landed on a platform that rotated it to face inward.

The hatch blew, and I almost trampled poor Jastal in my haste to reach the bridge. Again, I had to be a sight: wild-eyed, sweating and still a bit gooey from combat. It didn't matter.

I burst onto the bridge and every tailblade went up. I was recognized. The tailblades relaxed.

Captain Rubliss rushed to meet me. {Semeir, what-}

Without hesitation, I thrust the data stick into his hands. {Captain.} I saluted him. {With all due respect, this is an emergency. You _must_ see this data now.}

He saw the look in my eyes. He did not question me.

{Corwald!}

Corwald took the data stick and placed it into a receiving slot. The schematics I'd seen on the moon came up as a hologram in the center of the round bridge.

I explained everything. Odekkis walked in, heard us and confirmed my story.

{...and if this thing is allowed to fire, our planet is history.} I finished. {But I think I know how to stop it. May I be so bold as to show you my idea?}

Captain Rubliss nodded. {Show me.}

Purple dots appeared as I drew up an attack vector for our fighters.

{We will need another Dome ship and its fighters. Assign one squadron to take out the planet killer's weapons. A second squadron can take on the bug fighters and cover the first squadron. The Dome ships should focus on the planet killer itself once we destroy its defenses.}

I pointed to my diagram of the planet killer. {Visser Ten might rush ahead and try to fire. We have to attack him before he has chance. I don't know how long the primary Dracon cannon takes to power up. If he emerges ready to fire, we can't let him reach the homeworld. The main cannon looks like it needs a lot of power. If he has to keep shooting his other Dracon cannons, he'll be diverting power from it to defend himself. That should buy us time.}

Then I stood up straight.

{Will this work, Captain?}

The fighter pilots on the bridge were nodding. Captain Rubliss smiled like a predator stalking prey.

This could work!

And then a chunk of the moon below us exploded. Huge pieces of mountains pummeled the _SkyWarrior's_ shields.

Captain Rubliss gasped. {Visual!}

I glimpsed the planet killer zooming past us. This thing dwarfed the Dome ship! Its engines glowed white as it escaped into Z-space.

{Contact the homeworld!} The Captain commanded. His thoughtspeak never rose to a yell. {Trithos! Destroy that base and take us home as fast as you can!}

{Yes, sir!}

I saw Trithos rush to lock onto the continent. He only took a second.

TSEEEEEW!

A chunk of the moon exploded under shredder fire. Secondary explosions carried into the cavern where I fought Visser Ten. They were bright in the gas giant's shadow.

Trithos' fingers flew over the touch screen. {Punching into Z-space now!}

The stars outside became streaks. In moments we slipped into Z-space.

Captain Rubliss turned to me. His narrow main eyes glinted.

{Nice catch, Semeir.} He said. His gaze softened. {Are you all right?}

{I killed Taxxons down there.} I said back.

It hit me hard. I'd taken _lives_ , and I was probably going to take more. How did the Yeerks kill people and not feel the guilt?

{It's hard the first time.} He touched my arm. His fingers were thin and round, not tapered like Elfangor's. {It never gets easier, but you learn to bear it. You did it to survive. You fought honorably. And now I need you to do it again.}

I clamped down on my shaken conscience. Rubliss needed me.

He said, {I'm placing you in charge of this assault on the planet killer.}

That time, I nearly choked on my breath. Me? In charge?

{I'm not even military! How can I-}

{They'll listen to you when you show them you know what you're doing. Decades ago, Aldrea-Iskillion-Falan got the military to listen, and so can you. This is your moment, Semeir.} Captain Rubliss switched to private thoughtspeak. {Let them see what Elfangor taught you.}

I was brave on the sector seven moon.

Now I had to call upon it again.

I _really_ missed Elfangor.

.o

Captain Rubliss is a very influential Andalite. I learned just _how_ much pull he had when we left Z-space.

We arrived at our destination ahead of the planet killer. Another Dome ship was waiting for us. Its name rotated into view and I held my breath.

Elfangor told me stories about that Dome ship. He told me stories about its captain.

I barely kept from staring at the regal face on the communications view screen. He was a bit older than Rubliss with shaggy tan-speckled fur and blue-green eyes so dark they looked black. His gaze practically devoured everything.

{It's good to see you again, Feyorn.} Rubliss tipped his head. {I'm glad the _StarSword_ is still running beautifully.}

{Thank you.} Captain Feyorn-Igorath-Lemtulli closed his eyes and dipped his head in response. Then he focused squarely on me. All. Four. Eyes. Right on _me_.

My brain ground to a halt under that terrible stare. Many miles stood between us and it still affected me through the view screen.

Elfangor was right, Captain Feyorn did have eyes like black holes!

I stood at attention. Tail up. Eyes forward. Stiff as a pole.

{Semeir-Cooraf-Armaheen.} He said. {I knew your _real_ father. Daskamar served me well for many years. You have his stance.}

{Thank you, sir.}

{Now,} Captain Feyorn went straight to business. {Rubliss and I reviewed your attack plan. It looks solid but for one weakness. I called for an extra squadron to patrol the area during the battle. Someone has to deter the scavengers who will show up to make off with the battle debris. We can't let any pieces of that planet killer fall into the wrong hands.}

{Like the Skrit Na?} I asked.

{Clever girl.} Captain Feyorn spoke like a father complimenting a young child's first clumsy tail swing.

My offense didn't have time to sink in. Rubliss snapped out orders to get to the fighters. He told me to join them.

{You're letting her fly?} I heard Captain Feyorn ask.

Captain Rubliss' main eyes twinkled. {She learned from Elfangor.}

The last thing I heard as I raced into the fighter bay was Captain Feyorn's laughter. My fear of him evaporated. Feyorn was the captain who knew Elfangor's story. He, as much as Rubliss, had to know I learned from the best.

I detoured to my quarters. Then I galloped into the fighter with my name flashing above its airlock. Set down what I brought-my crystal and my hologram of Elfangor. Both in my line of sight on the main control console.

Seeing Elfangor there gave me confidence.

{All right, everyone! You have copies of the attack plan. Let's follow it to the letter!} I said.

{Don't start this fun without me, Big-Blade.} Leehan answered. The name he called me lacked its usual acid.

{Please.} I rolled my eyes. {How is the flank?}

He snapped, {I'm fine! A stupid Taxxon bite isn't going to keep me down.}

Leehan was definitely doing better.

I took a breath to clear my head and remembered what Elfangor told me about piloting a ship.

 __

{Gentle on the controls. Fighters can be fussy if you throttle too hard. Imagine you're an artist. Paint your flight plan and follow it. Keep the image in your mind and don't waver.}

Gentle on the controls. I repeated it in my mind as I checked all my systems. I was happy to see this fighter's visual display panel labeled who flew which craft. Captain Feyorn's fleet looked formidable.

The computerized count down began.

Ten, nine, eight...

I laid my hands on the steering panel.

...seven, six, five...

I looked into the eyes of Elfangor's hologram.

...four, three, two...

My hearts twisted in on themselves.

...one, zero-

{LAUNCH!} Rubliss ordered.

FWOOOOOSH!

Out into the blackness of space!

The Andalite homeworld was fingertip-sized, a blue, red and gold crescent on my left. The filmy atmosphere looked pink. It stood out against the dusty white haze of a galactic arm.

A low voice came over the com. {Battle plans written by a female. I hope this works.}

Margof spoke next, {Holy...is that Prince Breeyar?}

{ _War_ -Prince now. I'm old. I'm not _dead_.} Breeyar snickered. {I hope you brats know what you're doing here.}

{We'll show you!} Korjig replied.

Laughter from the other warriors. The tension broke as we all assumed our formations.

Leehan, Margof, Trithos and Korjig formed a diamond with me in the middle. We waited for the planet killer to exit Z-space. It would target us, and we would break apart to assault its weapons.

Traditionally, the diamond formation stayed together and dove below to shoot up at the enemy's underbelly. The Yeerks expected that. I wanted to give them a nasty surprise.

{I'll bring in the same from its rear.} Breeyar sent my squadron a schematic highlighting his flight plan. {Nescord, Menderash, you know where I'll break off. Everyone, keep your channels open to Captain Rubliss and Captain Feyorn.}

A string of {acknowledged} followed.

{We're flying with Breeyar,} Trithos laughed. {This is great!}

{Now, now, don't get too excited.} Breeyar said smoothly. His face appeared on our view screens, a gritty, middle-aged Andalite with broad shoulders and light green eyes. He had a small scar on his left collarbone.

Margof pinged everyone. {Here it comes!}

Time stood still. Z-space opened and out popped the majestic, deadly vessel. Its angular image appeared stretched until it reached normal space.

Captain Rubliss and Captain Feyorn both called out, {Fighters, begin the assault!}

{No fear!} I broadcast to all who could hear.

We attacked!

Breeyar was right about others popping up. My sensors detected alien ships slipping out of Z-space. Thinking we wouldn't notice.

The planet killer's Dracon cannons rotated on swivels. It could aim them like stalk eyes. Sizzling red beams lit the vacuum. Green beams answered back. The battle resembled a conversation between two sets of weapons.

{Stay steady at the rear, Margof!} I said. {Hold on.}

My group flew straight for the front of the planet killer. Its dark silver hull shimmered as it rushed toward us. I saw its targeting sensors find us. I saw it waiting for us to reach optimum firing range.

{Hold on...hold on... _NOW!_ }

We broke formation.

The planet killer fired!

Missed!

Andalite fighters above me! Fighters below! To the left and right!

I went down the center, joining my firepower with the others.

TSEEEW! TSEEEW!

I barrel rolled. I dodged. I fired again.

Stars and ships whirled!

TSEEEW! TSEEEW!

Dracon turrets crumbled like smoldering flowers.

Prince Breeyar's fighter rushed towards mine. We came within a few hundred feet of each other. At the same moment, we shot straight up and barrel rolled in unison.

We dove!

Fired!

Looped back!

Fired!

Rolled over!

Fired again!

Explosions!

{I'm hit!} Margof yelled. His burnt fighter passed mine. {I'm all right! I can still fly.}

{Outer squadron, bug fighters are deployed!} Prince Breeyar said. He sounded calm, but fighter pilots were supposed to be like that.

My sensors picked up the next wave of Andalite fighters meeting the bug fighters. Shredders and Dracon beams cross-crossed the stars. Silent explosions shone orange.

The fighting went on and on. I called the formation to regroup and assaulted another line of Dracon turrets.

But I could see the damage to both sides. Crippled Andalite fighters floated like satellites. Bug fighter debris, other pieces of ships-and sometimes people-drifted through the void.

It was a grim scene. I'd face this often. It made my stomach feel cold inside my lower ribs.

Somebody broke into my communications channel.

"Don't think this is over." Visser Ten sneered.

The front nose of the planet killer opened. Its primary cannon glowed crimson. I saw the ship accelerate towards the homeworld.

{Hey!} I screamed.

Everybody's ships accelerated to keep up. Our fighters were faster. We met the planet killer only a hundred thousand miles away from the homeworld. On it, people went about their day unaware that death loomed in the sky.

"I'm in firing range," Visser Ten smirked at me. "It will take me five minutes to power this weapon up, and I can keep you all busy that long."

{You won't get away with this.} I sneered back.

The _SkyWarrior_ and the _StarSword_ reappeared above me. They couldn't fire until our fighters cleared out. Visser Ten knew this. He wasn't going to make it easy. He kept smirking at me through the communication screen.

Bug fighters broke away to focus on the Dome ships.

{Captains are at the helms.} Somebody said.

The _StarSword_ and _SkyWarrior_ released their domes like a pair of synchronized _estreen_ dancers. Captain Feyorn personally flying the _StarSword_ , Captain Rubliss at the controls of the _SkyWarrior_.

Without their domes, the two ships were long sticks in the blackness. They flew clear of the energy beams and explosions. Their shields brushed off bug fighter shots like raindrops.

I saw the realization on Visser Ten's face. We'd out maneuvered him. He was surrounded, outgunned and unable to leap into Z-space.

And now, he had two Dome ships powering their shredders up to kill. It was a race between our weapons and the Visser's.

The planet killer's primary cannon glowed brighter. A hot, angry red sun. Visser Ten was trying to divert all power to the main Dracon cannon. He would shoot right through my fighter to hit the planet behind me.

Captain Rubliss barked, {All fighters, clear out!}

The Dome ships' cannons flashed green.

I looked into Visser Ten's eyes.

{ _This_ is for my family.}

The _SkyWarrior_ and _StarSword_ opened fire. A dozen full-powered shredder beams tore into the planet killer.

Visser Ten screamed Yeerk curses at me.

I looped away as the massive ship exploded in a brilliant ball of white light.

But there was no vengeance. No satisfaction for my parents, brother and step-sister.

Visser Ten's death didn't bring my family back to life. It didn't take away the memory of flames and Dracon beams. It didn't erase Elfangor's death.

Then I looked up and saw my homeworld floating above Elfangor's hologram. The bitterness disappeared.

My world. Safe.

Millions could go home and hug their loved ones. Millions could still reach for their dreams. None of them would ever know the disaster we averted came from an Andalite's mind.

I docked with the _SkyWarrior_ alongside the other fighters. It struck me, as I emerged, that my attack plan literally saved the planet. The grass, the trees, the sky, the moons and suns-how many times did I take them for granted?

{Semeir!} Leehan snapped me from my thoughts.

Startled, I rounded on him. His injured flank was bandaged. He stared hard at my face. His expression was inscrutable. He walked up to me, limping a little because of his wounds.

{Leehan?}

I peered at him. We stood face to face. My tail went up. So did his. We probably stared each other down for a solid sixty seconds.

Leehan narrowed his main eyes. {I can't believe I'm doing this, but...}

He extended his hand.

{...I was wrong to underestimate you.}

All tension dissolved.

I smiled as I grasped his forearm.

Within two hours I was back on the homeworld, doing the same with Captain Feyorn, Captain Rubliss, Prince Breeyar, Korjig and so many more.

My planet. My people. They were cheering. Not jeering.

 __

Cheering.

I swear I glimpsed Elfangor in the sea of faces. He disappeared when I blinked. But I knew he was there, just like he promised.

He was always _there_ in my hearts.

I moved off alone to process what I achieved.

Once upon a time I was a child who watched these Dome ships take off. I dreamed of that cheering crowd for years. I imagined myself standing among titans.

I thought becoming a warrior was just that...a dream. Then I met Elfangor, and he changed me. He believed in me when no one else would. Everything I am is because of him.

Now I stood among titans. I was one of them.

Reaching this goal cost me my innocence. It cost me peace of mind. It cost me the lives of people I loved.

I thought I would be cheering, too. I thought I would dance.

I stood in silence.

Humbled.

Would they still cheer if they knew the truth about the planet killer?

Did Elfangor feel this way when he emerged to the same cheering crowd?

{Semeir?}

I turned a stalk eye.

Rubliss joined me on the sunlit platform. His eyes drooped from a lack of sleep. The exhaustion made him look his age. He studied me for a moment. As usual, he guessed what was on my mind.

{Missing Elfangor?}

{A little,} I admitted. {Do you think he can see me right now?}

Rubliss swished his eyestalks in a 'who knows?' manner. {If he can, he's cheering for you. He always cheered for you, Semeir. I don't think a silly little thing like death will make him stop.}

That made me smile. {That's...that's true.}

{Here comes Breeyar.} Rubliss smiled back. He hopped down the ramp like an Andalite half his age. {Enjoy this moment, Semeir. You earned it.}

He trotted away. I saw his two adult daughters break out of the crowd to greet him. Then I turned towards the pilot beside me.

{Nice flying out there.} Prince Breeyar told me with a wink. {Everybody on the _StarSword_ is talking about it. Elfangor taught you well.}

Pride made me stand a little straighter.

{Thank you, Prince Breeyar.}

He made a dismissive gesture. {Stop by Captain Feyorn when you get a minute. He wants to talk to you.}

{Thank you. I will.}

Prince Breeyar nodded and continued down the ramp. A beautiful female waited for him. She moved aside and a tiny, spindly infant clumsily peeked around her legs. Prince Breeyar collapsed to his knees. He held out his hands and the baby waddled into his arms.

{Maryllis! You had him!} Prince Breeyar cried.

{Yesterday morning,} The female-Maryllis-smiled. {Hirool wanted to meet you so badly that he was born a day early.}

{My son.} Prince Breeyar rubbed his palm over the baby's forehead. He reached upward to stroke his wife's cheek. Then he jumped to his hooves, shouting. {Everyone! I have a son! Meet Hirool!}

His fellow warriors rushed over to congratulate and tease him.

I tried to squash a pang of jealousy.

Elfangor fought and died so the people of Earth could have this moment. I faced a planet killer that almost destroyed the ground where I stood. There would be no happy reunions, no children, no _hope_ , unless warriors stood up to protect this world.

Turning, I started towards Captain Feyorn, who waited on the other end of the platform.

I looked again at Prince Breeyar's newborn son. Hirool knew nothing of war, hate or Yeerks. He knew only the love of his parents. His parents existed to protect him until he could defend himself.

And _that_ , I realized, was what being a warrior meant to Elfangor.

It isn't about glory. It isn't about fame. It is protecting those who can't fight for themselves.

.o

.o


	14. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue

Epilogue

.o

My thoughtspeak faded. I came back to the present like a child waking from a long dream. So many memories.

The female beside me raised her stalk eyes towards the statue. Her main eyes focused on me. She studied my face for a long time.

I didn't wilt under her stare. Not like I would have when I was a child.

Wind rippled the pond beneath Elfangor's likeness. The biggest sun swung low towards the reddening horizon. When it swept behind Elfangor's statue, I remembered the first time I saw him.

And I smiled.

{That's quite a story. You...you really went for it.} The female frowned, {But what happened next?}

{Well, um-}

{Semeir! There you are.} Prince Breeyar called out. He was at my side in three gallops. {The _StarSword_ is taking off in twenty minutes. I need you on board now.}

I saluted him. {Yes, my Prince.}

Prince Breeyar nodded his acknowledgement and trotted towards the space port platform. I lost sight of him amongst the others boarding the Dome ship.

{I want to be like you,} said the girl.

Echoes of me resonated in her thoughtspeak. I heard myself again. Ages ago when this point in my life was only a far-fetched dream. Then I met Elfangor, and everything I dreamed became real. He showed me what was possible.

I turned to the young female. {What is your name?}

She dug a hoof shyly into the grass. {I'm Estrid.}

{Well then, Estrid, it's nice to make your acquaintance. But I'm afraid I have to go.}

Turning away, I trotted up the ramp to the launch platform. My hooves clicked against the rough metal.

{Hey!} Estrid followed me to the ramp of the _StarSword_. {What about the rest of the story?}

{Like I tried to say bef-}

{Semeir!} Leehan stuck his head out. {Captain Feyorn is an old traditional. He wants to brief all the warriors on this mission. Breeyar says he doesn't like it when people are late to line up.}

{I'm coming!} I said. Then I winked at Estrid. { _This_ is the rest of the story.}

I stepped into the Dome ship.

Realization dawned in Estrid's eyes. She took off like a shot towards a slender male standing on the platform. {Hey, Ajaht!}

That male looked so familiar-

Of _course_.

Ajaht-Litsom-Esth.

Step-Father fought him in a tail fighting tournament long ago. A fight that birthed my dream.

Estrid was in good hands if she wanted to follow in my hoofbeats.

 __

Good luck. I thought.

The hatch closed with a thump.

I took my place on the bridge and stood at attention. Prince Breeyar on my left, Leehan on my right and Korjig across the way.

The T.O. announced the Captain's arrival. Captain Feyorn walked in not long after. He paced back and forth, studying every soldier. I met his eyes when he focused on me. Then he moved on without breaking his stride.

{Good afternoon, warriors. This is our mission...}


End file.
